October Can't Leave Soon Enough
By Sharon
@simone10 (54187)
Louisville, Kentucky
October 30, 2020 5:28am CST
I will be so glad to say goodbye to October. It was a hard month for me. Chuck's birthday was the 13th and Halloween was one of his favorite months to decorate. Yesterday was the second month he has been gone. It still seems like it just happened. December will be a hard month too.
Each milestone that comes along and I get through it, I feel stronger. I just wish I could feel more positive. I feel guilty when I have a good day. I know it's normal but I will be glad when that feeling goes away.
I see more and more each day why God took him first instead of me. My brother was strong in a lot of ways but emotionally, he was weak.That's not a bad thing as it made him sentimental and have a loving heart. He never got over our Mom's death over 20 years ago. I don't think he would have made if I went first.
I talk to him and Bella every day. I know that may sound strange but it makes me feel better in a small way. I still miss my sweet brother and I still cry at least once a day. But I feel stronger and I thank God and all my friends here.
18 people like this
17 responses
@just4him (317041)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Oct 20
It's good to remember your brother. You should not feel ashamed of those tears of love and remembrance. One day all those tears will bring a smile to your face as you remember with joy how he did things, the things he said, his smile, and his special ways. It's good to remember. It's all part of the grieving process. Yes, it will be hard because those are special times for him and you.
You are loved. 
4 people like this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
30 Oct 20
It is´nt strange at all to talk to them I do in my head sometimes and wonder how they are. November and December are my worst months of losses. But I go out of my way to make them good ones.
3 people like this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
2 Nov 20
@simone10
You will get there you know making it much better right now it hurts like crazy but it will phase itself out.
Big hugs to you right now.
2 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
3 Nov 20
@lovinangelsinstead21 I just have to get through to next August and then I hope to be in a better place emotionally.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (178568)
• United States
30 Oct 20
There's nothing wrong with talking to Chuck and Bella every day. Be strong and take it day by day. We are all here for you.
2 people like this
@DocAndersen (54402)
• United States
30 Oct 20
it is hard when we lose people and dogs
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
3 Nov 20
@DocAndersen It has been tough. I pray next year is better.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
31 Oct 20
The remembering days and special days will cycle round and round. You will never forget, but you will mellow. Your family love sounds very deep.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
2 Nov 20
Oh, so do I! When 2020 started, my brother and I were hoping for a better year than we had in 2019. Then, Bella passed away in January, then the pandemic, then my brother passed away in August. I'm almost afraid to pray for a better year like I did last year. It's really been a bad year for all of us.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (106270)
• Marion, Ohio
30 Oct 20
You are doing good. The holidays are always the hardest to deal with.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
3 Nov 20
@wolfgirl569 I don't have any way to get there and even if I did, I have Daisy and wouldn't leave her.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (106270)
• Marion, Ohio
2 Nov 20
Maybe you could take a trip to visit them.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
30 Oct 20
no ma'am, nothin' strange 'bout ya doin' such. i do the same here with ones who've passed (humans'n critters). heck, i called my dad jest the other day, a stranger 'nswered. he's been gone since 2011.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
2 Nov 20
Thank you, Dianne. I still have setbacks as I did yesterday. My brother collected Nightmare Before Christmas items. Each year he would add to his collection. I decided to carry this on for him and an item I bought arrived yesterday. I was emotional for a while but im better today.
1 person likes this
@msdivkar (23359)
• India
30 Oct 20
Sorry about the sad even happened in your life. Brother and sister relationship has always been strong. It is very difficult to accept that your brother is no more at least for initial few months but life ha to go on. May the almighty give you courage to recover from the loss.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
30 Oct 20
For sure your brother wants you to be happy. Hugs.
1 person likes this
