Working on Contentment
By Arya
@yoalldudes (35037)
Philippines
December 26, 2020 10:56pm CST
I had been blessed with the sweetness and passion I had with my relationship with my now current partner of 17 years. But it was also unhealthy and chaotic. As I try to hold it together for my daughter, it has taken a toll on my mental, emotional and physical health.
Now, I wonder..........
What would give one contentment in life? I have seen a bit of it when I started with shopping fast, simplicity, and minimalism. But I'm not there yet. There are times I feel like my life is worthless without my man, the love of my life. But then there are days I feel there is more to life out of the relationship. And I yearn for self-actualization which I never had. I fear the loneliness.
16 people like this
17 responses
@arunima25 (87855)
• Bangalore, India
27 Dec 20
We all go through that phase... I guess that's a phase that every relationship goes through... For some it might prolong a bit longer. There is nothing like a perfect relationship. But as long as we keep it alive and make efforts to revive it, it's worth it. 
5 people like this
@arunima25 (87855)
• Bangalore, India
1 Jan 21
@yoalldudes Once might be a mistake.. But twice.. I won't consider it as mistake.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
I don't know if I can get past this because he has broken my trust/betrayd twice.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
I do not know your real situation there, but l think it should start with gratefulness that contentment will follow through. Grateful for the small things around you. I know there’s negative things around us but if you focus on the things that make your life feel good then it will naturally multiply and contentment will follow through.
4 people like this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
@yoalldudes True many do take them for granted. I too am guilty of that l sometimes overlooked there are many things l should be thankful for but l focused more on what l don’t have that l feel discontented in life.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
That you for reminding of gratitude. It is indeed very effective.
3 people like this
@kaylachan (71566)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
27 Dec 20
I think that can be hard to find. Focus on the little things that make you happy. The rest will sort itself out, I'm sure.
2 people like this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
1 Jan 21
@kaylachan I will keep my focus on these things. For me, this would include drying out clothes under warm sunshine in the clothesline, gardening or seeing a nice movie. I also love organizing.
@rakski (125822)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
good that you are working on it. Life is difficult if we want it to be. Your choices affects your future so you really have to think about the choices you make. Do not look for the bigger ones that is too hard to reach but work on the small simple things you can live by everyday. You will get there for sure
3 people like this
@rakski (125822)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
@yoalldudes I guess this is a lesson for you to learn. To have your own path not dependent on someone but just you alone.
2 people like this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
I have waited for 16 years for my partner to be stable in his job. But then, when I started to feel it coming true, he started having other women 
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So, now I have to plan again for myself. I wasnt prepared for this because I never thought he would do something like that. It really caught me off guard.
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So, now I have to plan again for myself. I wasnt prepared for this because I never thought he would do something like that. It really caught me off guard.3 people like this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
1 Jan 21
@rakski Yes, it is a very important lesson for me.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
27 Dec 20
Your love of your life is your daughter , not your man. Live for your baby.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
Well, the love of my life is my family. But then if it's get broken, I want to be able to stand up for her. So I need to be strong.
2 people like this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
Oh don't get me wrong we are still together. During this Christmas break, I had a breakdown again because I can sense the woman's presence in his mind and emotions, if you know what I mean. It hurts me so much. I dont know if we will get past this or not.
1 person likes this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
27 Dec 20
In essence, the foundation of relationship is emotion and the purpose of life has nothing to do with emotion; it has to do with duties (dharma) first. If I have to choose between my purpose and my relationships, I would choose my purpose because that's the ultimate mission of our life. This is the reason why sometimes, we question even our relationships and whether they are meaningful or leading us somewhere or not, because deep inside us, we know that relationships are temporary but our purpose is permanent.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
I am happy for you that you have found your purpose in life. I am still in search of mine.
1 person likes this
@prinzcy (32305)
• Malaysia
27 Dec 20
You're not worthless without him. I'm not telling him to just leave him though, I am not in your situation to begin with. Just love and live for yourself more. Then love and live for your girl. He is the last priority. No matter what, be strong and stable.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
Yes, I managed to get some today. I made a list of yoga poses, meditation and chanting I can do in the morning or when I have free time. I see they raise the frequency.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (140103)
• Philippines
2 Jan 21
@yoalldudes I think I am. But then, I am still open to the possibility in the future.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
2 Jan 21
@Shavkat That would be awesome if you meet the special one.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
1 Jan 21
That means you are content with your life which is good.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
1 Jan 21
Surprisingly having other women wasnt a deal breaker for me. I think I have lost myself.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
27 Dec 20
@yoalldudes
17 years is a long time so it sounds like you need a change. If it is not healthy for you then you should say goodbye. It is very hard to be in a relationship where you feel it is taking a toll on you. I need to think of your health and the health of your daughter.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
1 Jan 21
Indeed that is the term "taking a toll". But then again life takes a toll on all of us, I guess.
1 person likes this
@Butterfingers (66583)
• India
27 Dec 20
It happens but I guess we manage for our daughter or son and they deserve love of both their parents instead of one
2 people like this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
27 Dec 20
That is true. We owe it to the children we bring into this world.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
28 Dec 20
Start asking yourself, what do you really want? Does having this and that would make you happier? Sometimes we keep on wanting for more when in fact, we already have what we need.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
1 Jan 21
In time I will figure it out. Happy New Year!!!
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (77168)
• Germany
27 Dec 20
No, you are not worthless. 
You have to prioritize yourself and your daughter. No husband or partner is worth your love and care when he has another woman. I know it is easier said than done as an outsider. I have advised my nieces before that even if they are married, they should not lose their own identity and just live for the husband or partner that they have. You have your own life too, feelings and worries. When you will get sick, who will care for your daughter? This is just my opinion.
You have to prioritize yourself and your daughter. No husband or partner is worth your love and care when he has another woman. I know it is easier said than done as an outsider. I have advised my nieces before that even if they are married, they should not lose their own identity and just live for the husband or partner that they have. You have your own life too, feelings and worries. When you will get sick, who will care for your daughter? This is just my opinion.@thelme55 (77168)
• Germany
1 Jan 21
@yoalldudes Thank you. Happy New Year. I hope you had a wonderful New Years eve.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
1 Jan 21
You are right in everything you said. I am working on being independent and also trying to keep myself healthy the best I can.
1 person likes this
@Cheyee (8344)
• Pakanbaru, Indonesia
27 Dec 20
I don't know your situation for sure, but why do you think you are worthless without him? You need to value yourself, you have to love yourself.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
1 Jan 21
For now, I keep myself busy with productive stuff so I dont think about these things. There are just times that I get emotional and vent here.
1 person likes this
