How I engaged in compassionate behavior and also engaged in passive-aggressive behavior toward a "bad person" at the same time.

@TheHorse (218869)
Walnut Creek, California
February 6, 2021 7:53pm CST
Several months ago, I complained about a band-"leader" who stole tip money from our rock 'n roll band, sang out of key, forgot lyrics, and never thanked his band members for adjusting their schedules to suit his needs. He was the "weak link" in that band, but had "delusions of adequacy." I believe he may suffer from some mental disorder, but I am not sure which "diagnosis" to give him. He has an autistic 20-something daughter and is utterly insensitive to her needs. Ultimately, I was ashamed to be playing with him. He gave me a couple of shirts publicizing the band, and I decided to give those shirts to someone in need after I quit the band. Today, I spied a Mexican family at the exit from a strip mall where I was shopping. They were begging for money and clothing. Their three children were with them. I gave them the two shirts I had brought with me, but did not give them any cash, as I generally don't give away cash. I think it would be hilarious if the band leader spied beggars wearing the shirts he had printed. Do you think I am evil? I was happy to give away some clothing I did not need. I hope the family I gave them to does well.
21 people like this
19 responses
@FourWalls (68032)
• United States
7 Feb 21
I think you did well all the way around. It's a good deed and a good dig at the same time.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
Heh. That was my intent.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (100288)
• India
6 Apr 21
@TheHorse You are evil. LOL.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (68032)
• United States
6 Apr 21
@TheHorse — why don’t you...and name it “Honest Tip Splitting.”
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (340019)
• Rockingham, Australia
7 Feb 21
I'm sure that would have given you a certain amount of satisfaction. Let's hope he sees them one day.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (100288)
• India
7 Feb 21
Pony should have invited them as chief guests...
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
That would be funny.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 21
@vandana7 They probably sold the shirts for $1.99 each. It's a mean world out there.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (106298)
• Marion, Ohio
7 Feb 21
I think you did a very nice thing.
3 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (106298)
• Marion, Ohio
7 Feb 21
@TheHorse Hopefully he sees them wearing the shirts too.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
I think so too. It was fun to figure out a (decent) way to get rid of the shirts.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
@wolfgirl569 Buwaahaahaa!
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (79858)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
7 Feb 21
I think it was wonderful that you gave them the shirts and if that guy saw them wearing the shirts it would serve him right for getting such a surprise
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
I feel both happy and sad. I wanted to say "f*ck you" to him. But I also want to help those in need. I told the littlies that they could sleep in the shirts if they were ever cold.
3 people like this
@paigea (36317)
• Canada
9 Feb 21
Overall, you did a good deed. And it's not likely that the man will ever see them wear the shirts I remember taking great pleasure in ripping up an ex's tee-shirt to use as a rag I did a partial good deed yesterday. We are having extreme cold right now. As I got out of my car in the parking lot I over heard a man saying to a woman that he would drive home and get his booster cables and come back and boost her car. I called out that I had cables. The man used mine, so at least I saved him a trip. A real good deed would have been to do it and he could have been on his way!
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Feb 21
I keep cables in my truck too. It's nice to be able to help someone out.
1 person likes this
@paigea (36317)
• Canada
9 Feb 21
@TheHorse they are handy. I am surprised each of the other people had cables at home and not in their vehicle!
1 person likes this
@paigea (36317)
• Canada
9 Feb 21
@dya80dya (36657)
7 Feb 21
I think it was a good deed.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
Actually, I think so too.
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
7 Feb 21
A kind hearted soul. No, I do not give money. The shirts were a nice touch.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Feb 21
I never did give much in the way of money. If I visit my music buddy Michael again soon, I can score some more blood oranges which I can give away without "ulterior motives."
@allen0187 (58582)
• Philippines
7 Feb 21
Do you think I am evil? I don't think you were evil. You did not need the shirts, it seems, you do not want these. Best that you give it away to those who needs it.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58582)
• Philippines
8 Feb 21
@TheHorse true. You killed evil birds!
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
Yeppers. I kind of killed two birds with one stone. Heh.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (471541)
• Switzerland
7 Feb 21
I think you did well, I never give money, but I offer things that I judge can be useful.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (471541)
• Switzerland
8 Feb 21
@TheHorse We are asked not to give money to beggars. This is not for the beggars, but it is because gangs of Eastern Europeans send poor people to beg and they get the money. Those poor people are like slaves.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
That's my strategy as well.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Feb 21
@LadyDuck So they tend to work for a "boss" somewhere in Eastern Europe? What happens to them if the "pocket" the money?
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (44245)
• Wapello, Iowa
7 Feb 21
You forgot to say, "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die." But otherwise, you did fine.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (44245)
• Wapello, Iowa
7 Feb 21
@TheHorse At last some optimism! Most people say, "There will be no next time."
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
Next time.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137259)
• United States
7 Feb 21
That was a nice thing to do, pony. I quit giving anything to people begging outside stores after two incidents that happened a few years ago. One guy came up to me as I was leaving work one day and ask me for money. I told him that Walmart was hiring, so go in and apply for a job. He told me he wouldn't work for a company that took advantage of their employees like Walmart did. So I ask him, "But you'd ask for money from someone who does work there?" He cussed at me. I went back in and reported him for begging in front of Walmart. The police picked him up shortly thereafter. Another day I was at a different Walmart and saw a guy begging for money from people going in and out of the store. I went ahead and did my shopping. As I was leaving I saw him running across the street, like he was late for something. Thinking to give him a ride to where ever he needed to go, I followed him to the next parking lot. I then saw him get into and drive away in a new Mercedes Benz. (He was alone in the car. I had to believe it was his.)
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
I've heard stories like the latter. The first one is unique!
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137259)
• United States
7 Feb 21
@TheHorse I just don't understand why someone would beg for money when they could get a job and earn their own. I guess it has to do with self respect.
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
7 Feb 21
That's good you gave them to a family in need. No, I don't think you're evil. I remember you talking about him.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Feb 21
Yeah, I wish I could help him. But I can't. He just doesn't see it when his behavior is inappropriate.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 Feb 21
@TheHorse People like that don't see their bad behavior.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Feb 21
@just4him Very true.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
7 Feb 21
You did a great thing. Not evil at all.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
I had intended to give the shirts to scruffy homeless people, but this family looked like they needed SOMETHING. I don't give away cash.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
7 Feb 21
@TheHorse I don't give cash either. I am sure they appreciated your kindness.
@DocAndersen (54402)
• United States
7 Feb 21
i think you are human. I cannot give higher praise than that.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
I guess being human is a good thing.
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54402)
• United States
7 Feb 21
@TheHorse in this case yes it is a good thing
@BarBaraPrz (47313)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
7 Feb 21
They can always wear them inside out if they don't like the band. Or use them as bedding.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
Heh heh. I'm quite sure they've never heard of the band.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (180743)
• United States
7 Feb 21
That was nice of you to do. I hope he does see them...Karma is a you know what.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Feb 21
Yeah, it really is.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100288)
• India
7 Feb 21
Killed two birds with one shot... I am glad you gave them shirts because it must be pretty cold in your end of the world. You get brownie points with god for that. Arunima is the accountant.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Feb 21
Actually it's been really warm here for the last couple of days.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (10095)
• United States
7 Feb 21
That was nice of you to give the shirts.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
I think I did the right thing. Alas, we have lots of beggars around here.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (178701)
• United States
7 Feb 21
No. I don't think you're evil. I'm sure the family appreciated the gesture. You did a nice thing.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218869)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Feb 21
At first daddy asked for money, and I was slightly hurt. But he waved thanks as I left the parking lot in my truck.
1 person likes this