Dreams? Nightmares? Why now?

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I bolted up in bed sweating! I may have dreamed, had nightmares in the past but I NEVER remembered them. I've always claimed I didn't dream! I do remember, before going to sleep last night, watching a news program but it wasn't any worse than those I have seen in the past month. The last 2 weeks, of course, have been filled with the pictures in Afghanistan showing people climbing on airplanes as they started to move and over 600 people in one Transport plane. When I woke up I started thinking of all the reports of people dying from COVID-19, a case where a man killed his 4 year old son just to get even with his wife, while pictures of the many killings that have taken place here in South Florida! There was nothing new about TV news shows, newspapers, magazine and the Internet being filled with the horrors of life that seem to be more prevalent today than 'yesterday'. The news has been filled with the Parkland kids being killed at the high school in 2018 as the case of Nikolas Cruz, the kid who killed 17 people and wounded another 17, is coming to court plus there have been over 200 murders just in the past few months in South Florida of which more than half were kids under the age of 20. Living in a residential area filled with seniors I have, over the past 21 years, lost friends every year plus of all my friends over the last 50 years I know of only 10 still being alive. For whatever reason---the most logical being that I am OLD!-- death comes to mind a lot more and quicker now than 10-20 years ago. After I got up this morning I tried to figure out what triggered my waking up from a nightmare and it taking time to 'cool' down. I did get out of bed and walk into the living room out from my completely dark bedroom to a room filled with sunlight and looking out the window I felt immediately better. I looked at the plants around my apartment and did something rare for me--got dressed and took a walk down to The Point all before 10 AM!! I stayed there for about an hour, took a few pictures and as I was walking back to my building I thought about the helicopter flight out of Saigon helping to evacuate people in 1975 and the ones out of Afghanistan this past week. I am sure we will be seeing many reproductions of those flights. As I looked up at my 3rd floor apartment from the 'backyard' I just felt different, better, than I had this morning bolting up in bed and thought about 1967 when my life changed radically and I learned how to think positive and how much time I have spent in the past 54 years making myself feel good about myself. It is almost a 24/7 job but definitely worth it. Basically I spent the last 2 hours having a good old fashioned talk with myself, getting myself to feel better and realize that the bottom line is I am a good guy, a nice guy and I don't have time to feel 'bad', that nightmares aren't part of my life. I am just sitting here with a silly smile on my face wondering whether I should just delete this but decided not to and am just going to post it and go for another walk down to The Point!!! I really don't have a worry in the world!! :O)