I’ve Been to Hell and Back
@BelleStarr (61102)
United States
October 6, 2021 9:49am CST
Hi everyone, sorry I haven’t been around. I’ve had all I can do to just put one foot in front of the other. I was so positive on my last post but anyone who knows this disease knows how fast that can change.
I have just been through 3 days of hell where Al thought we we’re trying to kill him. He punched Chris in the throat and he is covered with bruises from banging the wall and kicking the footboard.
I called hospice for help and advice. I had tried all my usual tricks. A combined dose of two medications and he slept and he is back to being his sweet but demanding self!! I am so happy.
Unfortunately when he lays in bed that many days he losing his strength and I imagine it will be many days until he can walk and stand almost on his own but just having him back is enough.
I am sitting in the waiting room right now getting my cars emission test done. Tomorrow I am taking Stella to the groomers. Al’s aide will be here this afternoon for his wash up.
I had my second tooth out last Friday and the bone graft. I have an appointment for next week to get fitted for the crown on my other implant. The bad news is, my dental insurance doesn’t pay for crowns on implants. Disappointed!!
Not much else going on. I bought a new quilt for my bed, Kasey’s says it looks like Christmas!! I said I can’t have too much Christmas lol
30 people like this
27 responses
@LindaOHio (178568)
• United States
7 Oct 21
I'm so sorry to hear that Al has had a bad time of it. Sending prayers and positive, healing thoughts. I know how rough this must be for you. We are always here for you when you want to take a break or just need to talk. Is that your new quilt? It's lovely.
4 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
8 Oct 21
Thank you I am loving that quilt, it lifted my spirits
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160663)
• United States
7 Oct 21
I have seen how this disease progresses. I have been the wife who had a husband on Hospice for a different disease. People tell you you are brave, you are strong, but the truth is, you love Al and you could not do anything else but advocate and care for him. Hugs to you. Take care of yourself while you are caring for Al.
4 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
8 Oct 21
Thanks for the hug. It is my support system that keeps me going
@rebelann (112872)
• El Paso, Texas
12 Oct 21
That makes sense, he's accustomed to having you by his side all the time and wants that to remain that way so much more now than ever before.
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
Thank you, all of my friends feel the same way and I wish there was a way to help but the reality is he wants me near him almost constantly. Ido get our once in a while with Kasey and Chris stays with grandpa but he is often really crabby when I return.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51190)
• Canada
7 Oct 21
I love plaid, so the quilt looks great to me.
I am so sorry that you are going thru the downside of this illness, I will keep you, the family and Al in my prayers.
Have you considered finding respite care for a few days so that you can recharge your own batteries?
It may do you both good.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
I have access to free respite care but I would have to take him to the hospital and that would make him so upset that it wouldn't let me relax. I have scheduled one night away with my friend but I am not convinced I will be able to do it.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51190)
• Canada
11 Oct 21
@BelleStarr Your devotion to Al's overall well-being is inspiration.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
Thank you so much for the prayers. It is rough going but I knew it was not going to be easy. But I won't let him go to a nursing home.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
7 Oct 21
@BelleStarr
I am glad with all that is going on you were able to bring some joy to your life and bought a new quilt.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
8 Oct 21
Yes it makes me happy every time I look at it which is a good thing
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
10 Oct 21
@BelleStarr
I am glad that your new quilt makes you happy. You deserve happiness.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (89882)
• Arvada, Colorado
11 Oct 21
@BelleStarr I know..it is always unexpected
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
Thank you, I just wasn’t prepared for it to go this was
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
It is rather country, maybe Scotland lol
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (50250)
• United States
6 Oct 21
I hope that you will have a period of a lot of good days
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
Would that it was but it is pretty much two bad days and then one not so bad day at the moment. But as you know, a not so bad day is a gift.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (106226)
• Marion, Ohio
7 Oct 21
Glad he is back to his old self.
I love the quilt
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
The old self was short-lived but hey, we love every good minute we get. Thank you about the quilt, I am happy with it though it is not as soft as my Laura Ashley ones, maybe after i wash it.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (79833)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
7 Oct 21
So sorry to hear about your troubles, I hope Al will be all right and I will put him in my prayers, Many blessings to you both, Very nice quilt,
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
Since dementia is likely a symptom of his Parkinson's he will never get better but we can still have good days to enjoy. Thank you for the prayers and blessing, they mean a lot to me.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41424)
• United States
6 Oct 21
Oh Belle, I am so sorry to hear this. It must be so horrible physically and emotionally for all of you. I'm glad Al seems better. Prayers for you all.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
I would be lying to say it was easy and I never really pictured Parkinson's going this direction but I love him and this is the choice I have made. Your prayers are always very welcome.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41424)
• United States
11 Oct 21
@BelleStarr I pray you and Al are both having a good day.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
Thank you, it is quite light actually and may not be warm enough for winter.
@snowy22315 (180674)
• United States
6 Oct 21
So sorry, just one of those things at time would be enough. It must be so awful... At least you have the blessing of family to help you out.
. At least you have the blessing of family to help you out.2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
I agree, my family and friends make all the difference
1 person likes this
@xFiacre (13013)
• Ireland
6 Oct 21
@bellestarr That sounds just awful. Hope you get some time to rest.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
I try to make a little time for myself but I am chronically tired. But it is a labor of love.
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
No, it is just the progression of the disease. It is common, they are afraid and don't recognize anyone and think we are trying to kill them.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218805)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Oct 21
@BelleStarr Interesting. And sad. Have you seen the movie "The Notebook"? Made me shed tears.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
12 Oct 21
@TheHorse Yes it is my favorite movie and I cry every time. But al has dementia which is different in many ways from Alzheimer's.
@HazySue (39268)
• Gouverneur, New York
6 Oct 21
I am sorry to hear what you and your family is going through. It reminds me of when my father was going through that stage. I am hoping that it gets better for a while for you. By the way, the quilt may look like Christmas but it sure is pretty.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (78882)
• East Tawas, Michigan
11 Oct 21
I'm sorry that Al has been going through another spell, but the medication did work. I'm glad your dental work is being done. I love Christmasy quilts!
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
Thank you, yes it has raised my spirits
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
11 Oct 21
@kobesbuddy I agree, it is my favorite holiuday.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (78882)
• East Tawas, Michigan
11 Oct 21
@BelleStarr Even thinking about Christmas, that's a beautiful thought!
1 person likes this
