the grief of a wife
@Saniars (38)
Ujung Pandang, Indonesia
16 responses
@just4him (317315)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
11 Feb 22
@Saniars I've thought about your post since I read it. One thing I would suggest is remembering what it was like before you married. What attracted you? Romance doesn't need to die as soon as you have the ring on your finger or the children start coming. If he comes home late because of his job, prepare dinner just for the two of you. Show interest in his work. Communication will keep your marriage alive.
3 people like this
@healerWitch (417)
• Portugal
10 Feb 22
The first few years of parenting are really tough. My husband also works until late as he runs multiple businesses so I sympathise.
Well, a place like Mylot can help with loneliness. You can also start writing in a private journal, that helps me a bunch. Some exercise or yoga in the morning is a great start of the day.
And try to find a hobby that you can do whenever your toddlers leave you time for. When my kids were born (and they are special needs, and I haven't slept at all for the first 4 years of their life), I started hackintoshing computers lol. All the stupid problems I had to figure out with each different system kept my brain busy, and when I finally had success, it felt amazing! It made me forget about all the crises I've had all day, and some of them are too horrific to even mention here.
3 people like this
@healerWitch (417)
• Portugal
10 Feb 22
@Saniars it was terrible and unhealthy, but I was alone and my kids to this day still haven't taken a nap in their lifetime (I am grateful that they sleep through the night now though).
Those were really difficult years for me, as I also had health issues and chronic pain, not to mention they wouldn't accept my kids in any school where I used to live so I had to homeschool them myself.
That's why I used the above I mentioned (journaling, exercise, meditation, keeping my brain busy) because I would go mad otherwise.
It does get better as the kids grow up, hang in there and remember to take care of yourself as well.
1 person likes this
@Saniars (38)
• Ujung Pandang, Indonesia
11 Feb 22
@healerWitch wow, you are so great. even when you have a chronic illness, you still take amazing care of your children. I know it's not easy.
but indeed God will not give a trial beyond the ability of his servant. I hope you are always healthy and can see the development of your children until they are old.
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (90535)
• Arvada, Colorado
10 Feb 22
Your worth to your children is immense.
Be proud of yourself and your children.
Your husband certainly should come home earlier. Sorry to hear this.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (472124)
• Switzerland
10 Feb 22
Hello and welcome to myLot. I imagine that the first years with the toddlers are not easy.
Do you have activities that you enjoy? May be you should bring your toddlers to a park and meet other mothers like you and have a nice moments chatting with them.
2 people like this
@iKONICNoona (4220)
• Philippines
11 Feb 22
@Saniars
Hello there ! Welcome to myLot. I know how you feel. Sometimes being a home maker can really tire you out. But dont give up , your kids needs you. Good thing you joined myLot you have a way in pouring out your emotions because that can lighten the load you have inside you.
If you have spare time just post what you feel Im sure there are alot of myLotters that will help you .Ask help ftom family or relatives if you are in need , talk to friends ,
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
10 Feb 22
There are many things which you can do to keep yourself busy at home. I have twin kids and my wife never had such a problem staying at home and taking care of the kids. You should ask your husband to come early at night and help you to look after the kids at least at night.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83595)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
12 Feb 22
Hi? I feel what you feel. This pandemic kills our dreams. Never feel monotonous for you have two toddlers that need your loving care. When their stomach is full they'll just sleep 
.
.
@thelme55 (77164)
• Germany
11 Feb 22
Welcome to Mylot! I hope you will enjoy it here,
Sometimes, marriage life can be monotonous. It is up to you how you spice up your life with your kids and husband. Create a hobby for yourself. Joining Mylot is one of the best you can do to escape your household chores.
1 person likes this
@ihasaquestion (8275)
•
10 Feb 22
Welcome to myLot. Well.. There are many activities which you can do with the kiddos. Make it interesting, and there'll never be a dull moment.
1 person likes this
@Fa_Maverick (9488)
• Australia
14 Feb 22
If he works long hours I can sympathise with that if he is just out being a goof with his mates every night that is an ewh.
@shaggin (72289)
• United States
12 Feb 22
That has to be very hard. How late at night does he come home. Do you have friends you could get together with maybe to make the day a little better?
