I'm Feeling Silly / myLot

United Kingdom

February 10, 2022 9:55am CST

I was so excited to prepare for our early valentines dinner when I got this text from my boyfriend. I now feel so silly for putting in so much effort when the other person seem to be conflicted about me. Here's what it says: I know that I am acting a little off towards you. I'm not doing it intentionally, I'm just struggling to find that spark/connection between us. It hasn't quite seemed the same between us the last few weeks we've spent together. There are some massive differences in our lifestyles and I think they have shown a little more recently. I love you Floraine but I'm not quite sure where my head is....I'm trying to work out if it's me that's the problem or us x I don't understand how someone can say they love me and yet sound like they are breaking up with me. Part of me wants to just pack my bags and fly back to Guernsey but the mature part of me want to have a proper conversation when he gets back from work. I really feel so gutted by this and I'm dreading our conversation later. Does this mean he's breaking up with me?

9 people like this

10 responses

Jabo

@jaboUK (64354)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

I'd accept that this relationship is over if it was me.

5 people like this

YoghurtGal

@flapiz (23292)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

I think that's what I'm doing now. Just sitting here in silence with him. I don't even know what to say. I'm waiting for him to speak first.

2 people like this

Marlina

@marlina (154129)

• Canada

11 Feb 22

So would I. He seems way too insecure.

4 people like this

Sanjeev

@sjvg1976 (41711)

• Delhi, India

10 Feb 22

So sorry to know this but it seems he is breaking up with you. Yes, you should talk to him clearly about what he wants. It's better to have conservation between you both before taking any action further.

4 people like this

YoghurtGal

@flapiz (23292)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

It does look like he is. The confusing part was the end of his message. Anyhow what I did not appreciate was why he did his via message. He could've talked to me directly.

3 people like this

YoghurtGal

@flapiz (23292)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

@sjvg1976 I am awaiting his arrival from work so we can have a proper conversation.

2 people like this

Sanjeev

@sjvg1976 (41711)

• Delhi, India

10 Feb 22

@flapiz maybe he is not able to gather the courage to speak it up. You need to talk to him about it.

2 people like this

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Anna

@LadyDuck (472500)

• Switzerland

10 Feb 22

I feel so sorry, allow me to say that this man sounds immature. If he had something to discuss, he had to wait to be with you, sit down and discuss his problems, his sentiments, the reasons why he feels that there is something he misses. Sending a text message is just WRONG! Wait for him and discuss this matter.

3 people like this

YoghurtGal

@flapiz (23292)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

Yeah I know I feel like it's quite inconsiderate considering I only texted him to ask him what he fancies for dinner. Now I don't know what to do. I'm just going to Uber it as my heart don't feel like cooking and I was having difficulty of breathing as I was showering. I seem to be having anxiety attack.

2 people like this

YoghurtGal

@flapiz (23292)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

@LadyDuck I know I'm trying to be understanding and to wait for him to come around so we can talk rather than me saying something bad out of confusion and a little bit of anger. He is a bit odd sometimes he's an anxious man.

2 people like this

Anna

@LadyDuck (472500)

• Switzerland

10 Feb 22

@flapiz Do not cook, order something. May be he really loves you but he fears that you are too different to have a life together. May be he only needs to be reassured.

2 people like this

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Fleur

@Fleura (31015)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

It does sound rather as if he feels it isn't working for him. It is possible to love someone and yet feel as if they are not the right 'match' for you, for whatever reason. I'm sorry to say this but it doesn't sound good. But whatever happens, just try and keep your dignity and self-respect. Maybe he really isn't the right one for you.

3 people like this

YoghurtGal

@flapiz (23292)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

I know I'm trying to save my self respect and be really mature about it. But he really chose the wrong timing. Now I'm miserable half way to valentines preparation and not even sure I'm in the right mindset to cook. He could've told me the past couple of weeks then.

1 person likes this

Fleur

@Fleura (31015)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

@flapiz Yes you are right, it must have been on his mind and it would have been better to bring it up sooner, but he probably didn't want to spoil your holiday.

2 people like this

YoghurtGal

@flapiz (23292)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

@Fleura Well if he had been honest about it, I wouldn't have been here at his place feeling awkward and lost. I could've saved myself the trip.

1 person likes this

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Kandase

@Kandae11 (55786)

•

10 Feb 22

I wonder why he chose days before Valentine to have this conversation - did you notice a difference in his behavior over the past couple of weeks?

2 people like this

YoghurtGal

@flapiz (23292)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

I had no clue to be honest. He's been nothing but lovely. We had the talk.

2 people like this

Simone

@Janet357 (75646)

•

10 Feb 22

I find it odd. But wait for him to explain everything. Ask him.

2 people like this

YoghurtGal

@flapiz (23292)

• United Kingdom

10 Feb 22

Thank you Simone it is very odd considering he's been lovely. I'm wondering if it's something I said. I really am at the edge of my seat now waiting for him.

1 person likes this

askme123

@askme123 (6224)

•

12 Feb 22

Yes he is trying to break up with you gently.I posted a lengthy response to you in an earlier post because I didnot see this post as yet.I know you are hurting but don't worry.As women most of us has experience brokenheart before. Make sure the next person you fall in love with is mature and ready to settle down.