MyLot Cover V. Is Spanking A Child Abuse?

I agree with you.

You're right there. Now we have adults throwing tantrums in grocery stores. I do not feel that a spanking is abuse. Multiple spankings or anything more than a swat could be considered abuse.

I feel quite embarrassed for that mother or father trying to control a child who is throwing a really bad tantrum in public.

At what age do you stop spanking? I knew a father who bragged about still spanking his 14-year-old daughter on her bare bottom when she acted out. In his social circle, it was considered proper discipline and a parent's right.

@DWDavis Early on. You then switch to restrictions and loss of privilege. Spanking a 14 year old daughter on a bare butt is not a normal act IMO.

It would seem that since spanking has declined as a punishment, bad behaviors have fell out of control.

A swat is one thing but repeated swats are abusive to a child.

@Vikingswest1 I agree.

Daddy Evil, you are right. Some people should never have children.

I'm sorry your mom beat you.

@NJChicaa That's too bad. I can honestly say I deserved every swat I got as a young child.

@Vikingswest1 yeah me too. It permanently destroyed our relationship. My sister talks to her and sees her every day multiple times per day. I think the last time I saw her was on Christmas and last time I texted her was almost a month ago.

I would agree. It could get out of hand with some people but anything more than an open handed swat IS abuse. This is a discussion that was posted here at MyLot many years ago. I am curious to see how people's thoughts have changed over the last 15 years.

I agree. Some parents think a beating is acceptable as a punishment. I do not. I was spanked as a young boy but it ended before I was a teen. I actually could have used a few as a teen too lol.

@dgobucks226 It sure is. Some people seem more successful than others.

@Vikingswest1 Yes, growing into an adult is a challenging process for both kids and parents.

@Vikingswest1 it has nothing to do with being late teens will be teens they are there own person and make choice for themselves just like any other person does. Are those choices always right no of course not not even adults are perfect with the choices they make. Some times to learn you need to mess the heck up and live with the over all consequences that comes.

It's complicated. I agree. If your teen is out of control, it's too late to start spanking.

@Vikingswest1 - Too many adults are spoiled, I blame "permissive education" that I never approved. Parents must guide their children so that they grow up polite and not spoiled.

@LadyDuck I couldn't agree more. If you combine that with the way Social Media has altered how people communicate, that ugly behavior is on display every day.

I agree. It's a tool that isn't used as much today but it's sure obvious that more parents should have used it. Now there are adults having tantrums.

I've seen the same thing. A 1st grader hauled away in cuffs for bad behavior. Since spanking was always a last resort for my dad and done after a discussion in a calm manner, I don't see that kind of punishment as abuse.

@Vikingswest1 I see it as zero abuse compared to being arrested.

@xander6464 Agreed.

I agree. They turn into spoiled and undisciplined adults. They are everywhere now.

Same here. It was the perfect attitude adjustment tool for my parents. Honestly, I deserved every one lol.

@Vikingswest1 I was afraid of my father, he was strict. Yet, my home was filled with love, we had a strong family bonding. Everything we did was as a family, even watching television or going for an afternoon drive in Dad's car. They were 100% parents, from my perspective. Two very hard working adults.

@kobesbuddy My dad was a good person but there was a time I feared him too. He was pretty strict. My guess is my fear was based on my bad behaviors and the consequences he'd dish out.

I agree with your reasoning too.

@RubyHawk I agree. I am a parent, not a friend. Raising kids is like a funnel in reverse. Many restrictions in the beginning and a gradual relaxing of those restrictions until there are none left. Slowly give them more and more freedoms.

@Vikingswest1 Parents now are told to be a friend to a child but that doesn’t work. It’s a Parents job to guide and discipline their children.

I'm sure many people will disagree but I don't consider a spanking abuse. If it's many swats and done frequently, it could be crossing the line.

@Vikingswest1 Exactly. And what is the alternative? A spoiled child in my opinion.

@CarolDM All you have to do is look around. Spoiled children become spoiled adults. It could be considered abuse to not discipline a child.

You were beaten, not spanked. Not every parent can control their temper and swat in anger instead of having the discussion that should come before a spanking. A spanking itself is not abuse IMO. I can see why you see it differently given your history.

@Vikingswest1 oh yes, I couldn't tell you how many times, I went to another room and just screamed and hit a pillow to keep from being like my mom on one of them. I'm glad that my 2 middle kids were really good and I can hardly remember having to spank them at all. My 2 oldest and the youngest one were constantly trying my temper.

@bunnybon7 I did like my father did. A long discussion always came before a spanking. Attitudes during those discussions often determined what the punishment would be.

Many parents make the mistake of spanking in anger and it can fall out of control quickly. You were careful to not let that happen.

@Vikingswest1 I have noticed that children will do what they want to do, whether we beat them or not. By being too much of disciplinarian, we may actually be making them hide their thinking, and they will become defiant doing wrong for the sake of wrong..no mama can beat me now type, when they grow up. So yes, beating is not the right thing. Still, this is not always the case. Orienting a child towards something that makes them feel they are achieving somethings, note the plural, will help to prevent their focus on that need. My little friend's mother had strict diet rules for her kids. She does beat her kids in the name of being a disciplinarian. So one fine day I was returning with some oranges, and this kid and his father met me at steps of our apartment. I offered him an orange, he took it, and sat at the step and started eating. I said why don't you go up and eat, he said she won't allow - he used a tad disrespectful way of mentioning his mom. What the child does not understand why force it down his gullet? His father understood and let him eat, so again it is instilled in the child that mother is not always right. Environment matters.

Beating on a child would be abuse. A spanking is far different than a beating. The environment of the home IS a factor and whether it's time-outs or spankings, you're right. It's no guarantee that future unruly behavior won't be an issue. Consistency of enforcing rules and setting boundaries is absolutely necessary to make children know what to expect.

@vandana7 Everything in moderation. A house with rules and boundaries doesn't need to be run with an iron fist or to discipline a child just to show authority. You bet, environment matters a lot.

I can think of only a handful of times that I spanked my kids. I threatened to spank them quite a few times and the bad behavior changed instantly.

@askme123 For me, spankings were a last resort. There was ALWAYS discussion first. Their attitude during those discussions most often determined the severity of the punishment.

@Vikingswest1 sometimes scolding works and then spanking is use as the last resort.

I would agree. If you're leaving bruises or striking anywhere other than a hind end, it's gone too far.

@wolfgirl569 I have done that too. After a few times, they start hearing no or don't touch that.

@Vikingswest1 Little ones sometimes need hands smacked too. Many cant hear the word no at first. But there should never be marks

Well said. In my case, my father always had a discussion first and then delivered the appropriate punishment. Sometimes it was restriction, sometimes it was a spanking. It was never done in anger. Mom would sometimes use her slipper to deliver instant justice lol It didn't take long before spankings weren't necessary. I think anything more than an open handed swat could be considered abuse.

@moffittjc My wife used a wooden spoon and for a time, my dad used a belt on my older brothers. I was swatted by my mom's slipper several times but dad spanked with an open hand on the butt. The real danger growing up was my three older brothers. My last spanking came in third grade for stealing a fifty cent piece from my dad's coin jar. I didn't even spend it. I gave it back after the spanking. A younger me would have thought what the heck, I may as well spend it, I paid for it already.

@Vikingswest1 I had friends that would get hit with a wooden spoon or a shoe. I was always spanked on the butt by my dad, either with his hand or his belt. But it was never hard enough where it left any lasting marks. I learned quickly to behave. I can probably count on one hand how many times I’ve been spanked in my life.

The threat that a spanking was a possibility usually got their attention. My son tested his mother a few times and I saved the wooden spoons she used after they were broken. I showed them to my grandson and he looked horrified but he doesn't act up here lol

@SophiaMorros I grabbed the electric fence too lol. I was warned many times but had to find out for myself. I didn't fall for the sticking my tongue on a metal post in the winter though.

@Vikingswest1 My oldest will admit that he is the child that had to grab the electric fence. Warning him was not enough, seeing someone else do it and pay the price was not enough. Thankfully the younger 3 all watched him and learned what not to do.