Unexpected Proposal

@flapiz (23148)

United Kingdom

May 26, 2022 12:54pm CST

My mum called me at 4 in the morning couple of days ago and I got so worried. Apparently my ex had asked them if he could ask for my hand in marriage. He told them he had made the biggest mistake of his life by breaking up with me. And he's got no excuse than the fact he was scared to commit and now he is and he is sure he loves me. This has left me quite confused and stressed as now I am in a new relationship. I don't know if my sadness is out of pity or love. And I don't want to hurt anyone. Whichever I do I will end up hurting someone and that really makes me even more stressed.

14 people like this

14 responses

@sjvg1976 (41281)

• Delhi, India

29 May 22

I would say you should not listen to your ex as who knows in the future he again breaks the relationship. You cannot rely on him.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

31 May 22

Yeah he did tell me 2 months before the break up that I was his 10 and ten broke up with me before valentines.

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@LadyDuck (471497)

• Switzerland

31 May 22

@flapiz What was horrible was the choice of the date, just before Valentine's Day.

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@LadyDuck (471497)

• Switzerland

29 May 22

I agree. He broke once he will do it again in the future.

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@marguicha (222974)

• Chile

26 May 22

Do you have children with any of them?

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@marguicha (222974)

• Chile

26 May 22

@flapiz then do what you want to do today. Although, if I were you, I would not go back with a lover who left me.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

26 May 22

Luckily no that would be a bigger problem.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

26 May 22

@marguicha Yeah it's too scary now.

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@kaylachan (69646)

• Daytona Beach, Florida

26 May 22

It sounds like you've moved on, which you have a right to. So, that's what you need to remember.

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@kaylachan (69646)

• Daytona Beach, Florida

26 May 22

@flapiz You shouldn't. There's no such thing as a time limit as to how fast or not you're allowed to move on.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

27 May 22

@kaylachan I know just this attitude of being scared to hurt people.

@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

26 May 22

Yeah I feel quite guilty that I moved on too quickly.

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@LadyDuck (471497)

• Switzerland

27 May 22

Stay away from this horrible, selfish and coward man. As he understood he had no chances with you, he played the card to talk to your parents to ask your hand in marriage. Is he kidding? Why not to ask to you first to be sure you agree? Do he consider that you are an "object" to ask to your parents and then you will be "his" object? DO NOT marry this man.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

27 May 22

I know he can't even ask me in person. I have also said to him that I have moved on it is quite unfair for him to play the marriage card after he hurt me so badly.

1 person likes this

@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

27 May 22

@LadyDuck I know. He can't expect me to accept that. He should at least try to win me back first considering that he ruined my trust in him and us. It can't be just the same as if we never broke up.

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@LadyDuck (471497)

• Switzerland

27 May 22

@flapiz I would have hated if my boyfriend would have played that card to me after we broke.

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@JudyEv (339930)

• Rockingham, Australia

27 May 22

What a problem.

I wouldn't like to advise you either way.

2 people like this

@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

29 May 22

It is quite a tricky situation to give advise too as it has so much at stake and it's hard as you have not met the person. I don't even know him too well and if I can trust him and his words. Also I don't know the new guy much as we've only been dating for 2 months.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

31 May 22

@JudyEv I don't want to make a decision.

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@JudyEv (339930)

• Rockingham, Australia

29 May 22

@flapiz I don't think anyone should really give advice in such a situation. I would listen to what everyone has to say but then be sure to make your own decision.

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@luisga814 (7140)

• Quezon City, Philippines

26 May 22

Who's the one you've more love?

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

26 May 22

That's the problem I do not know:

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@rsa101 (38166)

• Philippines

3 Jun 22

Now when you're in a new relationship, that's rather perplexing. I believe you should think about it carefully. I believe you should prioritize your new relationship over the one you had previously. In terms of your ex, I believe he's learned his lesson. Because he was hesitant to commit, he shouldn't have acted harshly. But, if I were you, I'd probably be content with your newfound love. I believe now is the time to nurture and build your relationship in order to take it to the next level. Finally, figure out where you are now happy. If it's the current, stick with it; if it's not, it's probably time to be honest with yourself.

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@rsa101 (38166)

• Philippines

4 Jun 22

@flapiz I'm glad you decided to continue your existing relationship. I believe he had his chance, but didn't show his true feelings for you. I hope you didn't make the wrong choice here and be happy with it and finally find the one you want.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

7 Jun 22

@rsa101 I hope so too. I dreamt about my ex the other night. It does worry me.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

3 Jun 22

I am going to try make this new one work. It seems like he is worth it.

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@jstory07 (139697)

• Roseburg, Oregon

26 May 22

Go with the one that you have a lot of feelings for. It is your life so make the best decision for you.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

26 May 22

That is the problem I am not sure who I got more feelings for. The new boy is fairly new.

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@MarieCoyle (37443)

•

26 May 22

@flapiz I don't know if I could trust the first boyfriend if I were you, because I remember all the time you tried to make it all work out and he simply did not try at all or acted like he cared. I mean...he really hurt you terribly... this is just my opinion. In the end, you will have to go with what you feel is right for you.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

26 May 22

@MarieCoyle I know I feel traumatised by it.

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@JESSY3236 (19949)

• United States

31 May 22

I wouldn't go back with him.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

1 Jun 22

And so has a lot of people said so. The way someone leaves you tells you a lot and he did leave me pretty harshly.

@nela13 (58667)

• Portugal

31 May 22

You must look into yourself, if you are well and love your new boyfriend or if you still have feelings for your ex but don't forget what he did in the past, he may do it again.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

31 May 22

I do love my new boyfriend and I feel like I'm falling even deeper in love with him. But I feel that I love the old one too. Is it possible at all to love 2 people at the same time? I am scared I'd make a wrong decision.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

7 Jun 22

@nela13 I do know and to be honest I am too scared to get hurt again. It wasn't easy for me to pick up my broken pieces.

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@nela13 (58667)

• Portugal

4 Jun 22

@flapiz I can't say what you should do but be aware that one has already hurt you.

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Nocturnal Writer

@Nakitakona (56486)

• Philippines

27 May 22

That's the way life is. Pains are always there. Go whatever would free you from entanglement and make you happy. Don't let pity overcome it.

1 person likes this

@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

29 May 22

If only I knew if what I feel is only pure pity or rather love hidden in resentment.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

31 May 22

@Nakitakona Sadly I am too scared to try again with him.

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Nocturnal Writer

@Nakitakona (56486)

• Philippines

29 May 22

@flapiz May be both I guess.

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@Bubba90 (1755)

• Indonesia

4 Jun 22

Whatever your problem I will always wish the best for you. You deserve to be happy too.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

7 Jun 22

Thank you. I am trying to prioritise my needs rather than other people's feelings and it is quite hard.

@merrybelle2021 (1393)

• Philippines

29 May 22

If you're confused and stressed, then maybe it's better to take it one day at a time, don't be pressured by both past and present partner.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

29 May 22

Yeah I will just let nature run it's course. I mean, I am leaving Guernsey. The relationship I've started might even fizzle out.

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Stephen Toledanes

•

31 May 22

Forgive and forget.. Move on.. Life is so beautiful.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

31 May 22

So simply said. I think I have not forgiven fully yet.

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@flapiz (23148)

• United Kingdom

7 Jun 22

@Steevee thank you for the words of encouragement.

Stephen Toledanes

•

6 Jun 22

Acceptance and Self Love.. TRUST YOURSELF. You have survived and you will survive whatever is coming!..God is good...

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