How to know whether he really loves me?
By Aparna Sen
@Dreamerby (5282)
Calcutta, India
June 6, 2022 12:17am CST
I am in a long distance relationship with a school friend of mine. The relationship is pretty unconventional starting from the way it happened and the manner in which it's currently running.
So I have known this boy since the past 3 years of my life. In school, we were just classmates. We didn't talk much. And then when we graduated from high school and got into different colleges, he texted me in whatsapp all of a sudden and confessed his feelings for me. I said yes.
We are both different people. He doesn't communicate much. He says that the course demands him to burn the candle at both ends. However, he goes out with his friends and family(although occasionally may be once in 3 weeks).
As this is a long distance relationship, don't you think, texting is really important?
I wait for his texts all day long and then nothing comes from his end-6 days 7 days go by and he still doesn't text.
Should I break up or wait for 4 more years until he graduates?
8 people like this
12 responses
@ihasaquestion (8275)
•
6 Jun 22
I think you should date other guys. You won't know whose really loyal to you anyway until you really get to know them. So, don't be serious with that one..
2 people like this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
But he says that he sees a long term relationship in us. He won't date other women that's something which he has assured.
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
Yeah. He is unemotional to some extent. But he is loyal.
@ihasaquestion (8275)
•
6 Jun 22
@Dreamerby How would you know he's not lying? It's not like you see him everyday.
1 person likes this
@Beestring (14564)
• Hong Kong
6 Jun 22
Instead of waiting for his texts and feeling uncertain, have you texted him? See if he responds.
2 people like this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
But it's like I texted him everyday for a week and then when I stopped, he too didn't text me back.
@Beestring (14564)
• Hong Kong
6 Jun 22
@Dreamerby It seems that he's turning passive. If I were you, I'll let him know my feeling of the relationship.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (471456)
• Switzerland
6 Jun 22
@Dreamerby I had a long distance relationship during 3 years when I was young. We did not even had smartphones at those time. He called me once a week.
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
@LadyDuck Why did the relationship end?
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
But in a long distance relationship, texts play a part-don't you think so? I mean he doesn't text that means he doesn't get reminded of me.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87818)
• Bangalore, India
6 Jun 22
Why not just talk to him and express your feelings and what you want from him. He might not be able to really understand what you want. Keeping an open communication is good for any relationship.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87818)
• Bangalore, India
6 Jun 22
@Dreamerby I won't say it as general but men are not so explicit with what they want or with expression. You can once talk to him about it. People have different ways to express their feelings. Not all fit in the norm that we set.
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
The problem is he doesn't communicate much. Studying has made him a nerd.
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
@arunima25 I have told him many a times how I feel when he doesn't text me. The day I tell him that I want him to text more often, he follows the routine of texting me good morning every day for a week and then back to the same old him.
1 person likes this
@Fa_Maverick (9487)
• Australia
6 Jun 22
C my partner lives in the same town as me but If he moved back to Brazil I wouldn't wait around for his texts. Why? It is unproductive. Focus on you and what you like doing and your studies if he texts he texts if he doesn't he doesn't. This may cause you to drift apart and the relationship to end but that is life. Messaging and attention is not an indicator of love.
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
But in a long distance relationship, texts play a part-don't you think so? I mean he doesn't text that means he doesn't get reminded of me.
@Fa_Maverick (9487)
• Australia
6 Jun 22
@Dreamerby a small part yes. People that are saying "If he loved you he would..." are kind of manipulative in my eyes. I got told "If you really loved him" by my exes housemate. When in reality I was trying my best. If his lack of texting causes such an issue then talk to him about it and if he can't meet your needs then by all means break it off.
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
@Fa_Maverick I have told him many a times how I feel when he doesn't text me. The day I tell him that I want him to text more often, he follows the routine of texting me good morning every day for a week and then back to the same old him.
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
Yes I sure have to rethink. Actually he is quite loyal. But he lacks emotion.
2 people like this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
@Hanilee I have told him many a times. The day I tell him that I want him to text more often, he follows the routine of texting me good morning every day for a week and then back to the same old him.
@Hanilee (26)
•
6 Jun 22
@Dreamerby yeah some boys are lack of emotions, i think you just tell him how your feeling that you want more communication in this relationship
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5276)
• Philippines
13 Jun 22
communication is very important. specially that you are in a long distance relationship. he should at least text or ask how have you been for the day, your plans or whatsoever. try reaching out first. ask him if he is busy and why is he not texting you. you should ask, there's no wrong in asking or saying what you feel to him. besides, you are in a relationship.
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5276)
• Philippines
13 Jun 22
@Dreamerby it's better if you know someone near him that can look after him. You can ask that person secretly how he's been doing.
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
13 Jun 22
Yes he always says that he is busy. He is actually but not all the time.
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
Yes. But he says that he is not quite good at expressing feelings through chat(which is quite unbelievable given that he is a an engineering graduate)
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38865)
• Midland, Michigan
12 Jun 22
The thing is if he won't communicate in texts then he may not communicate enough for your tastes when you are finally together. Men don't always communicate with us women the way wed like even when they know our preferences.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16396)
• Raurkela, India
6 Jun 22
Both of you are busy with your studies now. So give yourself the time.
1 person likes this
@solidcodes (1764)
• Philippines
6 Jun 22
Long Distance?What country are you?
And what is his country?
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (5282)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
No we are in the same country, but, in different places. We will meet once in 5-6 months for the next 4 years.
