You Get One Free
By Jim Bauer
@porwest (93666)
United States
June 16, 2022 1:21pm CST
I am not sure how or why in a marriage these kinds of conversations come up, but they do. I remember years ago somehow the wife and I were talking about cheating—probably someone we knew were getting a divorce or something. Who knows?
My father was a cheat from day one of his marriage and my mother put up with it for the entire 17 years she was with him. She loved him, unconditionally, and to this day she says she would take him back.
Something I do not understand.
But lo and behold after 17 years my father just could not stay married and so he left my mom and ran off with his 20 something girlfriend.
I told my wife that if she ever cheated on me that was it. I would be done and would never look back. I stand by that thought today. BUT, she told me she would let me have "one free."
I have to admit it gave me pause. Was than an offer? So, what you're saying is...
But of course I couldn't do it. I love my wife and I love our life together. I don't need 5 minutes of pleasure from someone else that my wife can't give me just because.
Sure, there are a lot of super hot women out there I'd love to take into my lair and have my way. But is it worth it? Is it really? Even if my wife sort of indicated she might let me?
Besides. I think it's a trap anyway. No way she would ever let me get away with that.
Would you let your spouse have one free or send 'em packing?
20 people like this
20 responses
@marguicha (224154)
• Chile
16 Jun 22
I never had to even imagine another woman in my husband´s life. He loved me and respected me until his last day. But I never asked him to give up the soccer ball or else. I wasn´t sure of his answer
3 people like this
@marguicha (224154)
• Chile
16 Jun 22
@porwest He was a pro soccer player when I met him. He loved to play.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (138453)
• United States
16 Jun 22
I divorced my second wife when I caught her with someone else.
3 people like this
@RasmaSandra (81331)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
17 Jun 22
I was one of the lucky ones in all our 20 years together I knew my soulmate loved me and I him that I why I still miss him 5 years since he passed on
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (81331)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
18 Jun 22
@porwest that is true I am just waiting until we meet again and I don't want anyone else in my life
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (44860)
• Staten Island, New York
19 Jun 22
No way would I allow that. I know someone who left his wife to be with someone else and then came back to her and she took him back.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (44860)
• Staten Island, New York
22 Jun 22
@porwest how about someone being married for a very long time and then by chance meeting a person they’ve been with in the past and leaving their current spouse for that person?
1 person likes this
@porwest (93666)
• United States
23 Jun 22
@lovebuglena That does happen. The world works in mysterious ways sometimes.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16528)
• Raurkela, India
17 Jun 22
Me or my husband never gave each other such proposals. We were together for 34 years. Today he is gone to his heavenly abode but I would never think of life with another man. His memories are with me.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16528)
• Raurkela, India
22 Jun 22
@porwest Yes, we were faithful to each other and never thought of another partner in life though we did have hot arguments at times.
1 person likes this
@porwest (93666)
• United States
23 Jun 22
@aninditasen Arguments are healthy sometimes.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
19 Jun 22
I have buried my head under the sand regarding this one. I dont know how to deal with it. If I was in my 20s and no kids, in a blink of an eye I can kick that cheating man out. But not anymore the cards are different.
1 person likes this
@porwest (93666)
• United States
20 Jun 22
@yoalldudes So long as you have not redefined happiness to fit the situation it is a good thing. There is a big difference between happiness and capitulation.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
20 Jun 22
@porwest I am happy now, that is what matters.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (72964)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
16 Jun 22
That's something I am not sure I can answer. The rational side of me says, 'send him packing' but the practical part, says deal with it. On the one hand, you're right, five minutes of pleasure, isn't worth it. On the other hand, me, personally, would have so much more to lose. And, I can't risk that.
1 person likes this
@Aquitaine24 (11813)
• San Jose, California
16 Jun 22
wow, I wonder why your wife would want you to have a "free" fling. Does she need "help" keeping up with the "orders"? LOL
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (90711)
• Arvada, Colorado
16 Jun 22
I couldn't give a toss anymore about any of it.
1 person likes this
@porwest (93666)
• United States
16 Jun 22
The irony of it, I guess, is that his dingaling doesn't work anymore. He's 72. lol
But yeah, I guess you do reach a certain age when things don't matter as much. It's like my mom yelling at Roy, her "beau," who is nearing 90, for spending too much money at the casino.
"Mom," I tell her. "He's not going to be needing to worry about keeping up his savings plan much longer." lol
2 people like this
@DWDavis (25805)
• United States
17 Jun 22
Over the 21 years I've been teaching school, my wife has never made such an offer to me, though I've been surrounded by women. I would never have acted on such a chance because I love my wife and believe in my vows. She does, however, seem to notice which colleagues I refer to by their first name and which as Mrs. Ms, or Miss.
On the flip side, she works in a manufacturing plant and most of her co-workers are male. I've never even joked about letting her have "one for free." I'm sure if I did, she'd think it was because I wanted one, too.
The real conundrum for a married individual is that he or she knows whether or not he or she has cheated but can only take it on faith and trust that their spouse never has.
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (56484)
• Philippines
18 Jun 22
Marriage is broken because of that "free offer" Marriage is sacred and the couple are blind to live together for better or worse. My wife and I are living faithfully for 50 years of marriage.
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (56484)
• Philippines
21 Jun 22
@porwest Yes, that's practiced anciently.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (161319)
• United States
17 Jun 22
Nope, I would rather be alone than with a cheater.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
21 Jun 22
Of course, when we care deeply about our family, we want to protect them and keep them together as much as possible. The two most critical factors that might keep this family together are loyalty and trust, and a breach of either could end a successful marriage.
As for me, I agree with you that once you've crossed that boundary, the relationship must be over. Unless both parties are willing to forgive and forget, I believe that if one gets away with it, there is a chance that it will happen again.
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
17 Jun 22
I, most probably, be like your mom for the sake of my kids. I know that it's not a fool-proof reason but I truly love my husband and being away from him is misery.
I will forgive him for as long as he wants to stay with me. But if he wants to permanently separate/divorce, I would grant him his freedom. I wouldn't want to cling to someone who does not love me anymore.
But if it was only a fling, I would forgive him. 
@moffittjc (121955)
• Gainesville, Florida
16 Jun 22
No way would I ever let my girlfriend or wife have a free one. And I would not expect her to let me have one either. For sure it would be a trap. Haha. Besides, I’m not the type to cheat or want to cheat.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (183503)
• United States
17 Jun 22
No way Jose. My husband does not get a freebie. If a partner cheats, it changes the whole dynamic of the marriage. Things can never be the same. Period.
1 person likes this
