How Do You Tell Him- Or Her?
By Kandase
@Kandae11 (55163)
August 17, 2022 11:33am CST
How do you tell someone you are dating, or living with or married to that you no longer love them and want out.
Breaking that kind of news cannot be easy, so choosing the right time and place is very important. If the person you want to breakup with is very emotional, doing it in a public place would not be a good idea.
Breaking up by text message is not good either so how do you suggest it is done?
Did you ever have to break that kind of news to anyone? How did you do it?
Did you regret your decision afterwards?
Pixabay image
24 people like this
27 responses
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
18 Aug 22
You should sit with a person and discuss it. I dont think it's a good idea to announce it publically. It happens sometimes you dont love but has to take the burden of carrying the relationship which I think is not a good idea. One has to speak up at appropriate times and situations.
No, I never had been in such a relationship ever in my life.
2 people like this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
17 Aug 22
You'd probably do it by telling them THE REASON you don't love them anymore.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55163)
•
17 Aug 22
What if the reason - whatever the reason - will make the message harder to take. ? Some persons might want to soften the blow by saying " the problem is with me , not you". Of course it is best to be direct and tell the truth, but that may not be wise in certain circumstances. I would want to know the true reason why l am being dumped.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
18 Aug 22
@Kandae11 What reason is hard to take?
If you want to do that, set him up with one of your friends, and then you HAVE to break up with him so he can be with HER 
@Kandae11 (55163)
•
18 Aug 22
@mythociate Not that easy. Suppose the friend is not attracted to him or he to her.. Like you suggested initially the best way is to be straight with him or her -- wow! a difficult task.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (137771)
• India
18 Aug 22
I was engaged to someone once and my folks found out something about him that was not OK. They did that for me. It was an arranged engagement.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (137771)
• India
18 Aug 22
@Kandae11 I met him at a meeting and then before the engagement we did meet a few more times. Even after my folks called it off he wanted to meet me and convince me but I was not ready to take any independent decision
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (80748)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
18 Aug 22
I got kind of lucky in my life, My first marriage when I still lived in NYC did not work out, At that time my mom was longing to return to her homeland Latvia, I made the decision and the plans and we left, I got my divorce over in Latvia and he stayed back in NYC, Then I met my soul mate there and had the best next 20 years of my life and now I have the memories and I am back in the US,
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (80748)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
18 Aug 22
@Kandae11 for him it was simple he simply claimed abandonment by me and we got a quick divorce because there was also nothing to share
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (99405)
• Atlanta, Georgia
18 Aug 22
You should break the news when you’re alone and will have no interruptions. It’s a sad and hard thing to do but if you’ve tried over and over and nothing works you must do it or you will have nothing but unhappiness and everyone deserves a happy life.
1 person likes this
@vinay049 (1878)
• India
18 Aug 22
I have never done that however, someone did that to me. I was numb when I heard that. Someone, who was engaged to me, ran away and I heard that news from her mother. It happened out of no where as we met in the morning and she did that in the evening. And I was in dark why that happened and I never heard anything until a month. It was the worst phase of life but when I look back now, I'm really happy in my life as I was safe and didn't have to marry such a person..
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
18 Aug 22
There is no good way to break up. Of course I’d both of you know it’s coming to and end it’s not that bad. So being honest is the best just flat out saying when you sit down and talk. Hey I no longer want to be with you. I just don’t feel that I love you and a relationship doesn’t work when we are both not wanting in it any longer.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
18 Aug 22
@Kandae11 it’s never going to be good there is never a good way to really tell someone other then just being honest with them or them to you. Yeah it’ll hurt either that person or you but it’s better to be hurt by it then for them to keep going with you or you with them to just cheat behind there back. That is way more painful then breaking up not matter how long you have been together
@RebeccasFarm (90474)
• Arvada, Colorado
18 Aug 22
I would just leave and say nothing. I never let my enemy see my cards.
People get extremely nasty once things are not going their way..so I just move out of their way permanently.
1 person likes this
@jobelbojel (36041)
• Philippines
17 Aug 22
I have. It was not easy especially I am the guy. But I needed to tell the girl that it is not working out the way we planned it.
1 person likes this
@jobelbojel (36041)
• Philippines
17 Aug 22
@Kandae11 yes indeed never easy. Maybe one.can try to save it but if they tried so many times and did not work, time to let go.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472114)
• Switzerland
18 Aug 22
I did one time, the boyfriend I was dating before meeting my husband.
I told him while we were sitting in the living room of my parents apartment.
I explained to him the reason why I did not want to continue our relationship, there was no big drama, of course he was not happy.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16503)
• Raurkela, India
18 Aug 22
I haven't faced such a situation so can't tell how to handle. Moving away from a relationship without any reason is something absurd I think.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16503)
• Raurkela, India
19 Aug 22
@Kandae11 Yes, of course if there are valid reasons there's no question of continuing with the relationship.
2 people like this
@gtdoss (1013)
• United States
18 Aug 22
Yes, I did this a couple of times when I was much younger, before marrying my husband. There weren't any cell phones yet, but I would never consider breaking up via text. I think I just told them to their face in a semi-private place, and I don't remember there being any huge drama. Never fun, though.
1 person likes this
@Fa_Maverick (9487)
• Australia
18 Aug 22
"I think we should break up because x, y, z."
Be in public anyway even if they are an emotional person... especially if they might flip their sh*t on you.
1 person likes this
@Fa_Maverick (9487)
• Australia
18 Aug 22
@Kandae11 Yeah privacy isn't necessary if they are likely to hurt you.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
26 Aug 22
face to face and directly is always best - hate it when people just resort to silence or sending messages by text - oddly just listening to this great break up song by Sophie Ellis-Bextor
Your browser isn’t supported anymore. Update it to get the best YouTube experience and our latest features. Learn moreRemind me later
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37379)
• Toccoa, Georgia
18 Aug 22
Before I married, I just told the guy I was dating I wanted to break up. And one other thing, sometimes you can't still be friends with them because they will think they may still have a chance down the road. I had to sever ties with him completely because I learned the hard way with him.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (83118)
• United States
18 Aug 22
That's a hard thing to do for both parties. Saying the words and breaking up with someone as well as the person getting hit with the news.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (35733)
•
25 Aug 22
Never a pleasant thing to be rejected. I think the best thing is to be honest with the person and tell them in person. Text, phone or letter seems impersonal to me. I've been both on the giving and receiving end of breaking up. Very traumatic for sure but done in person.
1 person likes this
@Natalie3126 (123)
•
17 Aug 22
I never felt this as i have a good relationship with my boyfriend, hoping it will going great in the future and the love not dying. but imagine it was scary, being in love but just for one person and not the other one can lead into a cheatead relationship
1 person likes this
