Mystery Woman.

@Kandae11 (55036)
November 10, 2022 9:14am CST
What would be your reaction if your husband or boyfriend of three years decides to bring another woman in the home without asking your permission? In this case, the husband claims that the woman is a long time friend of his who needs a place to stay for awhile. After three months she is still there. Needless to say the wife is not happy about the situation. She told me resignedly when asking my advice that the house belongs to him so she has to accept his decision. Does she have to? What would you do if you were in her place? She and her husband both work out. Pixabay image
33 people like this
33 responses
@Beestring (14561)
• Hong Kong
10 Nov 22
I would move out for sure. This is so humiliating.
10 people like this
@vandana7 (100289)
• India
11 Nov 22
Humiliation remains na........... kinda, even after I leave, I would continue to feel cheated. Why not I bring somebody to tell my husband...look if you can do it, so can I. Let me not hurt, and let you not hurt.
5 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
He did not even ask , or discuss it with her before doing it.
6 people like this
@Beestring (14561)
• Hong Kong
10 Nov 22
@Kandae11 Yes, that's the point.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (180782)
• United States
10 Nov 22
I would say it is me or her, and make good on it.
8 people like this
@vandana7 (100289)
• India
11 Nov 22
That guarantees breaking of marriage.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (37355)
• Toccoa, Georgia
10 Nov 22
@snowy22315 I agree, me or her.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
She is trying hard to believe him - that he is just helping out a friend.
4 people like this
@much2say (55616)
• Los Angeles, California
10 Nov 22
That is something that should have been discussed and worked out between the couple before allowing this person to "stay awhile" - period. I would have been furious . . . it'd show this guy isn't mindful or respectful of me.
6 people like this
@much2say (55616)
• Los Angeles, California
10 Nov 22
@Kandae11 In my man's life, I would think I was his #1 woman and be treated as such. For him to not take my feelings or anything into consideration would make me wonder about the way he makes his choices/decisions regarding us as a couple. And how about this "friend"? As a woman, I would never intrude on a couple's territory - she should know better too (unless she has other motives ).
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
There was a big quarrel afterwards but the friend was already installed.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
@much2say Some people have no shame or conscience. I wonder if there is no family member who could help her out - or maybe she does have an agenda.
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (89883)
• Arvada, Colorado
10 Nov 22
Well knowing what I know now, I would just let him do as he please and me leave.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
She would have to rent somewhere , added expense for her. She is determined not to leave.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (471547)
• Switzerland
10 Nov 22
Hard to say what I would do in her place, because I do not know if she is financially independent, if she works, if she can support herself. I would slam the door and go to see a lawyer.
5 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
She can support herself, but l doubt she would be able to rent a decent enough place. His house is big.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (471547)
• Switzerland
10 Nov 22
@Kandae11 No matter how big my house is, I would not be happy to see another woman living in my house. I have the feeling that this house is totally owned by her husband, she is in a very bad position.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
@LadyDuck She is. I can imagine how she feels when she is at work and the woman is at home - probably touching what she is not supposed to touch.
4 people like this
@MarieCoyle (37565)
10 Nov 22
She needs to walk out, right now. Staying there is accepting what he did, and it won't change unless she leaves.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
She has a placid personality maybe that is why he feels he could get away with it. However this time l think he may have underestimated her.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
@MarieCoyle. Matters will definitely come to a head soon . It is an unhealthy situation.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (37565)
10 Nov 22
@Kandae11 She has to put her foot down or leave...there really isn't a choice for her, unless she actually wants the lady to stay permanantly. Ugh.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
11 Nov 22
It seems necessary to issue an ultimatum. Three months, in my opinion, is already a fairly lengthy stay for a buddy to be accommodated.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
14 Nov 22
@Kandae11 Unless there is a negotiation she will rent the space.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
She should get real serious about that situation.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (41433)
• United States
10 Nov 22
What a terrible situation! I don't know what I would tell her, but she needs help.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (41433)
• United States
10 Nov 22
@Kandae11 I totally can understand how stressful that is for her. Does the husband have any kind of legitimate excuse for the woman being there so long?
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
@1creekgirl. He keeps saying she needs more time. Meanwhile the electricity bill has gone up - extra use of fans, lights etc.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
She says it is difficult to concentrate on her job knowing that the woman is at home while she is at work. Her husband is supposedly at work too.
2 people like this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
11 Nov 22
Oh no! She wouldn't be allowed in the front door. It's her marriage too, she has a say.
2 people like this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
11 Nov 22
@Kandae11 I'm glad you told her that.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
Exactly what l told her.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
11 Nov 22
I'd move out.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
11 Nov 22
@Kandae11 that means a sit down talk with them
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
She doesn't want to leave and the woman is still there.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
@andriaperry That would be best.
@aninditasen (16395)
• Raurkela, India
11 Nov 22
I would have studied the woman's attitude closely. If she is surely homeless, I would have considered her stay in my husband's house as not all women are bad, but if I had the slightest doubt that they had an evil design, I would have walked out.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16395)
• Raurkela, India
12 Nov 22
@Kandae11 Yes, that's right. He should have discussed it with his wife before bringing in the other woman.
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
I have seen instances where a woman might try to help another woman and invite her to her home. Then when her back is turned that same woman tries to flirt with her husband. I hope in this case the husband is being truthful , but there is no excuse for not first discussing it with his wife.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (77081)
• Germany
14 Nov 22
He should ask me first if I allow his girl friend to stay with us in the house. I will allow it for a few days and then after that, I have to get rid of her in a kind way. If it is my husband, I have the right to stay by his side even if it is his bought house. The woman should leave, not me.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (77081)
• Germany
17 Nov 22
@Kandae11 Me either. I am glad we don’t have that problem.
@Kandae11 (55036)
14 Nov 22
My sentiments exactly. I would never leave him in the house with that woman.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
11 Nov 22
@Kandae11 I would think he is having an affair and had nerve to bring her to your home. It is your home too and not just his. She could have said no but why did she come and she will not leave.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
13 Nov 22
@Kandae11 Have you seen them together when they did not know you were around and if so, how did they act with each other?
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
13 Nov 22
@Hannihar. The husband and wife? She has a timid personality while he is boisterous and always seems to be surrounded by friends.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
It does look rather suspicious. I won't be comfortable moving into another woman's house - even if l am a longtime friend of the husband. It just does not sound right.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (35615)
11 Nov 22
Actually, since they are married the house belongs to both of them so it is not just up to him to decide who can stay. They should have discussed a timeline for her to find a place to stay beforehand, and after that she had to go. Since they did not discuss one, she needs to address it once and for all with him. If a compromise is not reached, then she should sort out her feelings and decide whether a divorce is the solution. Successful marriages need communication and compromise. Seems he is unwilling to do either.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
It seems very much like he takes her for granted. She should change that by being firm about how long the woman should stay. He should not have brought her there in the first place.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (35615)
13 Nov 22
@Kandae11 Yes, on all counts!
@Juliaacv (51230)
• Canada
10 Nov 22
No, that would not be allowed under my roof. If my hubby wanted another woman, then he would need to make a choice and a clean cut with one or the other.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51230)
• Canada
10 Nov 22
@Kandae11 I couldn't allow it, just a friend or more, just couldn't do it. And I do not believe that my hubby would even ask.
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
He claims she is just a friend in need.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137259)
• United States
11 Nov 22
Has she tried asking the friend how long she plans to stay? And how she met the husband? And how much longer is she going to stay? And where she met the husband? And how much longer is she going to stay? If the man and woman are married, then why is it "his" house?
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137259)
• United States
11 Nov 22
@Kandae11 If she's married to him, I'd agree, it is a family home, His and his wife's.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
Well it is a family home, left to him by his parents, in that case l don't think she can tell him and the lady to leave. About the length of time , she already asked them both and the answer is always - soon.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (61136)
• Centralia, Washington
11 Nov 22
In a good marriage everything is discussed. Each partner has respect for the other. Even if one person wants to adopt a dog or cat, the other should have say in whether that happens. Having another woman in without talking about it is beyond me. Same with me- any extra human, male or female, must be mutually allowed in. Or not.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (61136)
• Centralia, Washington
11 Nov 22
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
Definitely no respect there. The way l see it , they were a couple for some years before deciding to get married, surely she must have known the kind of person he is.like his having a lot of friends, taking the initiative without discussing important matters etc. etc. People do not change overnight.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (340118)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Nov 22
It's a hard one when you're not there. Can she order the woman out? Is the husband hoping the wife will leave? Do the husband and woman seem to be 'an item'? It's tricky.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (340118)
• Rockingham, Australia
11 Nov 22
@Kandae11 Some people are very sociable. It's a bit hard on both I guess if the other is not so keen on having people around all the time.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
What l do know about him is that he is a people person , he has friends around him most of the time. His wife complains that the only time they are completely alone is during bedtime.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
10 Nov 22
No room for more than one woman.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
10 Nov 22
Three is definitely a crowd.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
10 Nov 22
@Kandae11 Indeed it is.
@MrDenata (12248)
• Indonesia
11 Nov 22
This is for real, Kandase? OMG, i cant deal with it at the first place. BIG NO
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (55036)
11 Nov 22
It is for real. Some women have a lot to put up with.
1 person likes this
@MrDenata (12248)
• Indonesia
11 Nov 22