A Sign on My Wall Says A Lot

A lot of the time, not always, but a lot of the time we only perceive things as "rude" because it is not what we want to hear. Which, of course, defeats the purpose. The truth is not always pleasant. But of course, it's still the truth. Where many people go wrong is when they listen for the truth they want to believe. Not the truth that is.

@porwest In my case, I am aware of how things are said besides what things are said. I have a love story with words in my language as I´m a writer in my native tongue. But some people do think that being rude is not thinking as they do. Still I have learned not to talk about certain subjects with some people.

@marguicha I think one often does themselves a disservice when they choose not to talk to some people about certain subjects. Sure, people disagree, and disagree often. Sure, people disagree passionately and state their ideas with as much passion. Sometimes it is misinterpreted. Other times it is absolutely credible to say, "that person is just wrong." At the same time I have often seen different perspectives brought to light to me in even the headiest, knock down drag out arguments. The best course is to always be able to read between the lines and TRY to find some common ground and sensibility, and most important, to always have an open mind.

@porwest Yes, but there are those that can't discuss a controversial subject civilly. Those are the people that I can't stand.

I can only say what I already said in a previous comment on this post. "A lot of the time, not always, but a lot of the time we only perceive things as "rude" because it is not what we want to hear. Which, of course, defeats the purpose. The truth is not always pleasant. But of course, it's still the truth.Where many people go wrong is when they listen for the truth they want to believe. Not the truth that is." Rude and combative are subjective measurements of a response or an answer. Many times I find, not always, but MANY TIMES I find that I am said to be rude or combative ONLY because I am citing facts and not confirming a lie someone badly wants to believe. AND because I won't allow the lie to go unchecked, what I say in response may not actually be rude, but instead simply not be the truth someone else wants to hear. I just think people are too locked into their own biases and belief systems and have shut their minds off to thinking things through, and when things don't go their way they shut things down and simply start thinking everything is rude or combative when in reality it's not that at all. BUT it is also that person's way of not having to do the work of actually thinking about anything. Much easier to just write the other opinion or fact off as rude or combative. lol In no way am I suggesting I am always right. But I am also not always wrong, and especially when I know it, I am going to put it out there any way it needs to be put out there. Around here I kind of think of that as my "brand." lol

@LindaOHio I agree. It is why I hardly ever resort to name calling. I just stick to the facts because in any argument the only time you need to start getting nasty is when you've run out of facts to argue. When one is armed with facts, you don't need anything else to get your point across. THAT being said, sometimes when someone does not like the facts they assign "incivility" to the presentation even when it does not exist.

But the point is that sometimes we tend to view harshly opposing viewpoints, thinking everyone should go along with our way of life, our way of thinking, and when they offer a different viewpoint we sometimes look back at them and say, "I thought you were my friend." When in reality, a friend will tell the truth, and sometimes it may be harsh or ill received. But a friend is not a friend if they lie to you or are not upfront or even sometimes curt with you. I think in this world that's where a lot of us have gone wrong. We tend to shun people whom we disagree with and only mix ourselves with those who do, and then we miss out on so many things we might not know, might not understand—it makes us a bit shallow and misguided, and sometimes it is even dangerous.

I think the greatest asset we have besides our brains are our ears. Many people don't use either of those things. lol

Thanks. It happens every once in a while. lol

You still have to weigh in on whether the person is actually useful or otherwise just a jerk. lol

@porwest Not very much a good judge of character. Im easily bedazzled by eloquent ones

Very much so.