my mother in law is a horrible woman

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With all of my talk about being judgemental, I have every good reason to feel the way I do about my mother in law. 1, She never cared one bit about me, and doesn't really show that much concern for her grandchildren. She never once offered to help me in anyway when I was dealing with some past bad experiences. She never even picked up the phone to see how I was doing. 2, She will do what she can to inconvenience my husband in anyway or form. She does not drive and refuses to take a bus or a cab, instead she insists that he picks her up and drops her off to places. I have had to put my foot down at times, only to make sure that he does NOT take her needs over mine or the kids!! 3, I know I have no right to judge about this, but I cannot stand her as it is. She NEVER once cooked a meal. I admit, it makes me sad whenever I hear of friends saying they are going to their inlaws for dinner, or even dessert. She won't even have us over for dessert! 4, She tried telling me what to name my kids and when I told her the name choices she immediately said to me "I won't stand for that".. well too bad, who is taking care of these kids?? She won't even help when help is desperately needed! The burden is on my family to help. 5, She cries poor all the time, and gives the "poor widow excuse" all the time. I am not making light of her losing her husband but this was 10 years ago. When my grandmother lost my grandfather, within months she started playing poker again and went on with her life. Everyone has their time to grieve and they should but she sits at home all day and feels sorry for herself!! But.. how can she be so poor if she goes on trips every so often, and orders the most expensive entre on the menu and buys only the best quality clothing?? The list really could go on and on but I won't bore you. NOW IF she actually cared about me, put herself out to help, then I wouldn't even care about the other things.. but she has hurt me and has done things to me that I cannot forgive her for. She even did things to my husband, and I know he cannot forgive her either. But on the same token he always runs to her tune. So frusterating! Just needed to vent more than anything. I am under a lot of stress right now, and if I knew I could count on her for some help, I wouldn't care about the other stuff!!