Do you/did you dispose of your children’s toys without asking them?

This is the way to go. My Mom donated all my books as soon as I got married, without asking first if I wanted them. Most of my toys went to younger cousins. I would never do this.

In my childhood, my mother would do a big clean up of my room every now and then. I didn't have very much, but still I felt rather violated that my things were touched and rearranged, possibly tossed out. But I never said anything - just accepted it I guess. Fast forward with my kids, I have always tried to get them to clear out their own rooms . Their rooms are definitely not as clean (stuff, stuff, stuff) as my childhood room was, but at least they don't carry that "violated" feeling. When I do have to step in, we go over together what they want to keep or toss. They will make their own piles of things they don't want anymore - their choice.

My mother donated our toys and books to a local church for its nursery and preschool. Throughout my son's childhood I donated what he was willing to give up, and threw away what was too damaged. We had to move a few times during his teen years. I was a single mom then and pleaded with him to please go through his things, but it didn't happen, so with each move came all these totes (boxes) full of his childhood toys and t-shirts (that he still fit in). He took them with him when he left my nest in August 2017, brought them back when he moved back in December 2018, took them with him when he left again in March 2020, and he FINALLY went through the toys in 2020, and his clothes a couple of months ago. He is 28, and only kept Teeth, a yellow, plastic (more than 30-year-old) dinosaur, and got rid of most of the t-shirts. It isn't necessary to hold onto toys so the grandchildren can play with them someday, but is doesn't hurt to at least hold onto them long enough to let your child(ren) make the decision. I say, keep a space in your home for your child(ren) to come and stay in when they visit, but don't keep it as your child(ren)'s room, specifically. Find another space - away from your living space (including your own home's storage spaces) to store your child(ren)'s things if they cannot or will not take them with them yet. If you have to pay the storage fee, do so until they can take it over, gently reminding them that the deadline to empty the space is approaching. Throughout the term of the lease, go to the unit before going to your child's home, grab a box, then you will never be without a gift when you come to visit (regardless of the occasion). That should hopefully prompt him/her to go through that box, especially if you now have grandchildren and that box has them more than a little curious.

That's something my mom has always done to me. I don't have any kids but if I did, I would never do such a thing without their permission. I know how emotionally kids get attached to their toys.

With my situation, I have kept many of Dustin's things. But when he was with me, he wanted to donate many of his childhood toys.

It's very sad when a person takes something from you without you knowing

We've lost a few toys in different moves but I've never been the one to decide their toys are going away. When they were babies and toddlers we would purge from time to time if we had a lot but I never got rid of a loved toy. I still have my Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal from when I was a baby 40 years ago. It is the only toy I still have left. I had kept some of mine for them but they never really like mine so I didn't feel bad about getting rid of mine. I can understand getting rid of some if they have a ton but I feel like that is something that they should help with. Go through, divide into like kinds, count them, and come up with a number that they can keep that you both can agree on. Negotiation will be key here. They will want to keep more than you want to and you will want to get rid of more than they want to. The struggle will be finding a number that works for both.

Didn't have kids.

I had our kids help me each year. They were taught that to have room for new toys we need to get rid of the old that they were not using. But if they left things laying around I would hide it once. The next time it went bye bye

I would never give away stuff without asking. However, now both boys are basically in their 50s, I might more or less insist that they take their 'stuff' to their own place. And I did throw out a teddy or two that was basically disintegrating.

We didn't have children; but if we did we would ask before giving away or disposing of their items. Have a good weekend.

I always would if the toys were nothing special to my kids and they never once mentioned them to me. I also would not like it if someone disposed of my stuff, but I think it's different with kids because they outgrow things.

I have an attic full of my daughter`s old toys, I cannot bear to part with them because they bring back such lovely memories. The trouble is, I am a bit of a hoarder and my attic has lots of other things that I do not want to get rid of and now there is no spare room up there. I have heard that some older children`s toys have now become collectable , so maybe we should have a clear out and try to sell some of ours. We will share the money with my daughter of course if she even agrees to sell any of them.

I totally understand where you're coming from! Everyone has their own approach to decluttering and handling possessions. For me, if something is given as a gift, it's meant to be truly theirs to keep or do as they please. Communication is key, and it's always better to ask before getting rid of someone's belongings. Happy organizing!

My mom always asked my sister and I, but she usually just told us it was time to donate to kids with very few toys, so be ready to donate some we didn’t use anymore that were still in good shape. I read about a mother who had what I thought was a great idea to avoid clutter. This didn’t apply to a toy given by a friend or relative, but to toys they bought for themselves or ones they asked their parents for, for Christmas. When they got a new toy, they had to be prepared to donate an old one to charity (with the exceptions I mentioned). Obviously, this wouldn’t be a good idea to children with an already reasonable amount of toys, but for moms who deal with clutter I thought it was great. Like you, I can’t imagine simply throwing out a child’s possession without them knowing, even if was worn out and ready for disposal.

Hmm I think my parents always asked me before they gave away my toys.. i really wished I kept some though, they don't make Barbies as good or high quality now.

Pretty cleared out my stuff as well as her own when we were moving into this house. I kept stuff from my childhood and her childhood. She sorted through everything before we moved six years ago and put stuff into one of three piles: keep, trash and give away.