I am so tired
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
Banks, Oregon
July 10, 2023 3:24am CST
What do you do when you feel like you are the only one who cares. what do you do when everyone takes advantage of your kindness, what do you do when you are so beyond tired you are in physical pain from stress and worry....
You make yourself sick worrying about what ifs, worrying about what will happen when you are no longer here, how will everyone make it? No one realizes how important you are to there life, how much you do for everyone with so very little in return from them.
those precious moments mean so much, but are they enough to continue fighting that physical, mental and emotional fatigue from everyday life....
I've been through so much in my life, and every hurdle I leap across there is a million more waiting, do I really want to continue this race?
I need help, I don't know what to do anymore....
I love my family so much but I feel like I have a million pounds on my back and I'm going to be crushed to death.
The thought of just running away and changing my name and starting fresh comes to mind...
I am mostly venting and expressing deep frustration, I am not suicidal but I am definitely at the point of giving up on everything as I can't do it all anymore, I just can't.....
13 people like this
14 responses
@much2say (55901)
• Los Angeles, California
10 Jul 23
It has been a long time - nice to "see" you!
You have a lot on your plate . . . maybe it feels like stuff is "thrown on" your plate sometimes . . . but you gotta make some room for yourself . . . you are important too. An outlet, a little bit each day just for you would be good . . . even to come here and let some steam out. Please take care of you 
.
.3 people like this
@much2say (55901)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Jul 23
@chrissbergstrom I feel safer to vent here. Right - social media is not necessarily kind - we don't need any more drama on top of everything else. I know you have a gigantic heart to help those whom you love, but please include yourself. You carry a lot on your shoulders . . . do what you can to maintain your own needed strength and energy. Even for a few minutes here and there throughout your day . . . find an outlet that will recharge your batteries 
.
.2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
10 Jul 23
Thank you I was thinking maybe I need to just start venting atleast on here I can't even do so on my social media as to many wandering eyes whom want to know more or are to judgemental
1 person likes this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
11 Jul 23
@much2say so many so called friends and family are really just ears to run and spread gossip and make things worse sadly
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (93740)
• United States
10 Jul 23
You are understandably overwhelmed, and reading your post, those problems and frustrations sound so familiar. I can relate to so much of what you are saying, and I feel for you. Have you thought about seeing a counselor. I don’t mean a psychiatrist or anyone who would prescribe medication. You don’t sound like that is the answer at all. Sometimes, talking it out with a professional can lead us to some realizations on when and how we can make changes to effectively handle our burdens in a more healthy way. I’m not even suggesting it needs to be permanent. But, over the years when I’ve been pushed down by these very things, I’ve sought a counselor who helped me shift my thinking, and evaluate where and what I need to alter my life.
In the meantime, it might be a relief to get on Mylot, and share what is on your mind, like you are doing now. If you have a trusted friend, I’m sure they would care enough to listen as well.
I’m rooting for you. Good luck. 
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (93740)
• United States
10 Jul 23
@chrissbergstrom Is it possible to cut out anything in your life that is stressing you out? Or is it all tied to your job and/or family and you cannot extricate yourself from any of it?
Perhaps you could talk about a little bit of that stress with someone who is familiar with caregiving? I have to think there is someone who has been where you are who could give you advice, even if you didn’t tell them everything that was going on. I understand not wanting to be put in a precarious position though.
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
10 Jul 23
The thing about that is I don't have any free time for it and I am helping so many others it's hard to help myself.... If I was getting help also I may not be qualified for the caregiving I do..
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (168126)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Jul 23
I had to set up some boundaries. I was getting so depleted. It worked for me. Some people will take and take as long as you let them. Set up some boundaries before it is too late. It may be hard but will pay in the long run. Take care.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (168126)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Jul 23
@chrissbergstrom ..........I know how it is.
1 person likes this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
10 Jul 23
It's so hard to do as I don't want anyone I help to go without or be pushed on someone who won't really care for them....
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (181321)
• United States
10 Jul 23
It's good to see you again. Maybe you need to stop by here more often and vent. Talking about it helps a lot in most cases. I hope you find a solution.
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
10 Jul 23
Thank you I am going to try even if it is odd hours
2 people like this
@hillhjill (23717)
• United States
10 Jul 23
Us with the biggest heart is the ones that carries everything and we are also the ones crapped on!
I'm so sorry your feeling like this. Depression and anxiety are a real battle, I know I'm there as well.
But it should or I hope that it all works out for you!
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
11 Jul 23
@hillhjill self care is so important
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
10 Jul 23
Thank you it's a everyday struggle I help everyone but me
2 people like this
@hillhjill (23717)
• United States
11 Jul 23
@chrissbergstrom that's how it goes I swear, that was so me and I was completely forgetting about myself. So I finally did something for me.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
•
10 Jul 23
I am in the same position, but I did realize fairly early on that if I didn't allow myself little short breaks, I just couldn't do it. Being a caregiver maybe 70-80% of the time, not super well myself, and advocating for my sick son is just really hard. Sometimes, I can go on and on and not really realize how exhausted I really am, and sometimes my body just...stops and I can't go on without rest of mind and body.
I did set boundaries early on, which does help. I can't give up...I won't, I will keep on as long as I can, it's my child, even if he is an adult. If he wasn't trying, I might feel differently, but he is. I know what you mean, about a million hurdles. If I am available to listen, I will certainly try. If you have a good friend or two to talk to, that can really help as well. Plus, allow yourself a break--even if you just go for a walk or a park and disappear for a little while. Everyone needs that.
Hopefully, things will get better for you.
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
10 Jul 23
Thank you, you likely understand more then most everything I have been dealing with. I was full time caregiver for my Grandmother for many years and she passed. I am one of two whom help my brother whom we applied for disability so he could get more help and were denied, his schizophrenia has not gotten any better, I have also helped with childcare for many many years for my nieces and nephews, and now my Great niece and great nephew.... I feel like I do so much and there is very little appreciation other then the love of those babies but the adults are all very selfish and do not look at all I have done to help.... People criticize me and do not see how much I'm doing and how physically spent I am..... I need more help then I get I have always been one who wants to help I do not begrudge them but I would like more thanks and more help.... I'm very depressed and can't so anything anymore there is no real life for a caregiver it's all about those you care for which is not to say there are not moments we love them we want to see them happy but when we are not happy with ourselves it's hard.
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
12 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle Thank you Marie Its a blessing and a curse to care to much :(
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
•
12 Jul 23
@chrissbergstrom
I think you have given enough.
You have altered your life. Constant caregiving is expensive--I take it you are getting nothing for any of this. You deserve a life, too. Not trying to be mean or judgmental, but it's just past time to quietly get your affairs in order, make a plan, and then tell them you are out of there. You have done your time, and then some. Judging your picture, you are not an old fellow. You need to get away, the world is out there! I know you love them, but enouogh is enough, Chris.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58582)
• Philippines
10 Jul 23
Sorry to hear about this.
Hope you get to sort it out.
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (90294)
• Arvada, Colorado
10 Jul 23
Good to see you here pal. Take care.
2 people like this
@jstory07 (139782)
• Roseburg, Oregon
12 Jul 23
@chrissbergstrom Yes great I have another great grandchild. This time a boy.
1 person likes this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
12 Jul 23
@jstory07 That's wonderful I have a new Great Niece Hayden she is 18 days old.
1 person likes this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
11 Jul 23
Thanks Judy, I hope you are doing well
1 person likes this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
10 Jul 23
It's hard because I know that no one else has my heart and will not help with the care that is needed
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
13 Jul 23
Thank you Ruby it is such a great outlet and so many good people here I'm happy to have returned
@Aansh13 (11362)
• New Delhi, India
10 Jul 23
Life is tough, and tougher who are kind and takes care of things with all their heart. But all I can say is, be the same and remember GOD knows, he gives you only that much pain, that you can sustain...
Wishing you peace and strength to move on...
2 people like this
