Anti-bucket list, what is something you never, ever want to do again?
By Marie Coyle
@MarieCoyle (38562)
July 12, 2023 2:56pm CST
Many people have a bucket list, things they hope to experience or do in their lifetime. I do, I know. But I never thought about it in reverse before. There are things I wouldn't mind never having to experience again, for sure. Disreguarding the deaths of loved ones, or terrible illnesses, there are several.
Bad relationships of any kind. I really don't do well with dissention and upheaval.
I never want to go through another nasty divorce in my lifetime.
I will never follow organized religion again, for as long as I live. What I believe and don't believe is my own concern (yes, I do) and no one I know was ever permanently swayed by swallowing someone else's beliefs.
I never, ever want to drive the Lake Pontchartrain bridge again, as long as I live.
If I never go to New York City again, it will be fine.
I never, ever want to lose my wallet or have it stolen again. That one thief caused me worlds of pain and trouble.
I wish that my children would outlive me, burying one was more than enough. I am not sure I could live through that pain again.
I'm sure there are a lot more, but hey, it's your turn! What do you never want to do again??
37 people like this
34 responses
@RubyHawk (99405)
• Atlanta, Georgia
13 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle They do cut deep. It isn’t something you get over.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
I'm with you on both counts...they both cut so deeply. 
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@RubyHawk
No, you don't ever get over that, not ever. WE have to carry them in our hearts, when we really want to carry them in our arms.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (93738)
• United States
12 Jul 23
I think your list is a good one. I know I will not live in the place I grew up ever again (too much crime & heartbreak), I hope to never be sued again, never go back to college, and I hope I never try to get my sister to love me like I have in the past (I need to accept she’s content with being acquaintances). The last one makes me sad, but at least she gave me two nieces and a nephew that welcome any and all love possible. 
7 people like this
@1creekgirl (41686)
• United States
12 Jul 23
I'm sorry your sister doesn't want to be closer. My sister has called me twice in 8 months since I got cancer and I haven't heard from my brother at all.
4 people like this
@AmbiePam (93738)
• United States
12 Jul 23
@1creekgirl That hurts my heart. I’m sorry, Vicki.
4 people like this
@1creekgirl (41686)
• United States
12 Jul 23
@AmbiePam Sometimes I wonder if it's me, but I don't think so. My brother doesn't care about anyone, it's sad. My sister and I have never been close.
4 people like this
@snowy22315 (181942)
• United States
12 Jul 23
I never want to get a colonscopy again. I will swallow a camera, maybe even do a stool test, but not have someone stick tubing up me again, and the prep is almost as bad.
5 people like this
@1creekgirl (41686)
• United States
12 Jul 23
To me the prep is unbearable, but the test wasn't bad.
2 people like this
@MarshaMusselman (38865)
• Midland, Michigan
30 Jul 23
The colonoscopy didn't bother me but the prep certainly did. If they found a better way to do the prep that would be easier. Is rather go on a liquid diet than do the prep.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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12 Jul 23
Shout this from the rooftops!! Drinking that prep stuff made me throw up for hours. Then the actual procedure. Horrible experience I never want to repeat!
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (471969)
• Switzerland
13 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle - 8 hours inside the car, cold, nothing to eat and to drink and NO TOILETTE has been horrible, even worse that the 35 minutes needed to cross the Gotthard tunnel. Anyway I do not want to go under it anymore, when there is an accident you risk to be stuck inside for hours.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
Well, I can certainly say I don't think anyone wants to be caught in a snowstorm! And 8 hours to be rescued is hard! Oh, and I refused to even think about ever going in that tunnel. I told everyone just no, I probably would have had a coronary if I was in it. Too scary for me. And I am done with cruising, I think...every time we go, someone, at least one of us, comes home sick.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@LadyDuck
I am not fond of tunnels or long, long bridges. Or tall bridges. I have to keep breathing deeply and telling myself that this will end, and it does--but they are terrifying to me.
8 hours in a car, cold in a blizzard. Not a good experience at all!
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (80635)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
12 Jul 23
Now what did NYC my hometown ever do to you? I know it can be big and scary just wondering what happened to you, Bury my dad twice, losing my husband and soul mate again, have the minor operations I have had, having a stillborn baby, and some other nasties I cannot all remember now. Thank you for the suggestion @1creekgirl
4 people like this
@RasmaSandra (80635)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
12 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle thank you at least now my cats keep me smiling. Freddie has even decided I need watching over and has taken over the empty side of my bed. Kind of fun to open my eyes and see that furry face there,
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@RasmaSandra
Pets can be such comforts to us. They love us just the way we are, unconditionally.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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12 Jul 23
New York , it’s just too big and too dirty and too many people everywhere. I was born in Chicago and have lived in other large cities. But New York is just not my thing.
You have suffered so much loss, I can see why you would never want to relive any of that. You are a sweet soul and I hope that you have some happiness.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (55131)
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13 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle Yes, many marriages do experience a mid life crisis. Mine did not reach that stage. l stayed around for 2 months before planning and succeeding in a great escape.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@Kandae11
I am very glad for you that you were able to get away and have a life without that person. It's horrible to go through, I know...very hard.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
For about 22-24 years, mine wasn't terrible. But then, SOMEONE went crazy, bar hopping, sleeping around, and pretending he was a college student. A mid life crisis that has turned in to a never ending crisis...but that's ok, he is no longer my problem! It can be a big turn off, for sure!
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
12 Jul 23
Oh, there are just too many to mention. Never work retail, never work fast food, never have a child's bad choices break my heart. No delivery jobs for me either.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
At the point we've reached in our world, working fast food and retail is very difficult, and so is delivery. I know when a child makes bad choices, it hurts so much.
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
12 Jul 23
My list keeps on changing when I remember something else. Right now, the only thing I can remember was the last conversation with my daughter.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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12 Jul 23
I am in hopes that she will see the error of her ways and you can be back to where you once were with her, Marga.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (137552)
• India
13 Jul 23
That is a pretty long list. I have a few
I never want to go about the way I did when it came to relationships. I never want to be over sensitive - that cost me quite a bit of emotional upheaval I will never shun household chores..............
2 people like this
@allknowing (137552)
• India
13 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle I did once tell my boss that I was not into a popularity contest and would like to be the way I am.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
Unfortunately, sometimes I cannot turn off the emotions. I am no crybaby, but I feel things too deeply at times. I am constantly trying to improve that, but it's always been the way my mind and heart works together.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@allknowing
Nothing at all wrong with saying that, you were just stating the truth.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137461)
• United States
12 Jul 23
I hate arguments and will often give in because I don't feel up to arguing. I don't want to ever go to court again but will do that one if I have to. (Eight years in a divorce court with two ex-wives and two more years getting custody of Pretty.) I was also taken to court by a company that was trying to cheat me. Thankfully, I won that easily.
I'm scared of heights but felt safe enough when a friend took me up in a twin-engine plane he was flying. I never want to go up in a helicopter again. Especially not with a pilot who thought it was funny to pretend to dump me out to amuse other people. (We were all wearing safety harnesses but I'd told him before we got into the helicopter that I was scared of heights.)
I prefer not to look out windows in high-rise buildings. I prefer not to climb on a mountain. (Looking down from a height makes me dizzy and I almost fell when we climbed a mountain my sister in Arkansas owns.)
I hate driving in traffic in a bigger city. Springfield and Joplin Missouri are okay as long as I have an address I can give my GPS. City drivers are nuts! I got stuck in traffic in Los Angeles when Pretty was around 7 years old. I managed okay on side streets but don't want to take a major highway if I need to find an exit in the city. (I also didn't have a GPS at the time and was trying to navigate with a folding map.)
I never want to navigate from a map again! The GPS can still give me wrong directions but it will correct me when it discovers the mistake.
I don't ever want surgery again. (I had my appendix our in 4th grade and had carpal tunnel surgery about twenty years ago.) The eye doctor had Pretty convinced that surgery on my eyes (On my eyes, not the flesh around my eyes that swells up.) would "fix" the swelling that seals them shut for days at a time. I just stopped arguing with her and refuse to go to that doctor again. She can't drive so can't force me, no matter how much she screams at me.
That's enough from me although I'm sure I could think of more things if I tried.
After reading your list again, I will add burying my first son was the hardest thing I've ever lived through and hope never live long enough to bury my other son or Pretty.
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137461)
• United States
13 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle Every other time Pretty and I traveled across the country, I bypassed the big cities. When I took her to Pennsylvania to start college, I drove around New York even though going through it might have saved us a lot of time. If we can't get to a place without going through a big city, we just didn't/don't go.
Thank you. I appreciate that. Hopefully, we won't ever have to.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@DaddyEvil
I have had no choice but to adapt and drive in some cities I would prefer not to drive in, but I survived. I understand wanting to bypass big cities, for sure.
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@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
I hate arguments, truly hate them. Nothing is ever solved by them, anyway. I, too, often just walk away. It's just easier.
Heights bother me some as well. Mountains aren't terrible unless I have to drive in them when it's snowing or icy--then, I don't want to be there. Oh, I remember those horrible paper maps, try as I might I had one hellacious time trying to read them. GPS is a lifesaver! As you said, if you do mess up, it will take you back to where you need to be. I'm not big on driving in some unfamiliar cities, and even though I was born in Chicago, I will not drive in that city. It's just a nightmare. Most cities I do just fine. The only other ones I truly detest driving in are Boston, Baltimore, Atlanta, and Houston. Maybe because I had to drive it with a car full of kids. Anyway, if I don't ever have to do those places again, that's fine with me!
And surgery does totally drag me down for a long, long time. I hate it, as well. If it is something simple, I will do it, I am not sure where I would draw the line.
I am so sorry you had to bury your son. I know that hurt and it's always there. I don't want to ever bury another one of mine, either.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Jul 23
Really good question. Yes, I have my bucket list. Let's see if I can list a few never ever again happenings.
I've had a bad relationship. I never want another one.
I never want to go through another divorce. Also, part of the bad relationship. Once was enough.
I never want to cause trouble for those I love.
3 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
13 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle I think most people do. I hope you have a good day.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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12 Jul 23
Valerie, I honestly could have written those same words and it would all be true!! I strive for as much peace and tranquility and happiness as I can possibly find!
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@just4him
It's been a wild day of driving and taking my son for some tests and appointments. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (103967)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
12 Jul 23
I would never visit New York City again due to the crime problems in that city. I also would never take up a delivery job that requires me to drive my own auto.
3 people like this
@Deepizzaguy (103967)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
13 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle That is very true since the horror stories on the internet news is scary.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@Deepizzaguy
We had an Lyft driver shot and killed last year, for no reason. Sad.
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@MarieCoyle (38562)
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12 Jul 23
New York is just too over the top for me.
Delivering anything now is way riskier than it used to be, George.
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@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
13 Jul 23
I never want to ride a rollercoaster again, I never want to deal with extreme heights again. I
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
13 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle yes I have bad fear of heights I can't see people up on high heights either especially children I will have full on panic attacks
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@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
When I went up to the Sears Tower in Chicago (now Willis Tower) it made me so sick that people walked out to stand on that block of glass that I got sick and tossed my lunch. Not fun.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@chrissbergstrom
I have never had a panic attack, so I can't relate to that, but I do know some of those heights are terrifying.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16505)
• Raurkela, India
13 Jul 23
I would never want to see anyone die in front of me. I just can't bear the pain. I lead a routine life which I would not want anyone to disturb. I don't want my belongings to be stolen again as I have already been robbed of my valuables and would never want bad neighbours which I have.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (16505)
• Raurkela, India
14 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle It is and we take a long time to accept the truth.
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
Well, bad neighbors and having your belongings stolen is not a pleasant thing, I'm sure. Sorry that happened to you.
No one wants to see anyone die. But bear with me here--there have been a few times in my life that to be with the person who was dying was what I needed to do, they were family and they wanted me to be there. Did I want to, no. The few times it has happened, it was just what I did because the loved one wanted me to be there, picked me out of all the family and friends to be there...and I have come to realize that it is an honor. Not an honor anyone ever wants, by any means. I certainly didn't! But of all the people in the world that person knew, or was close to, he or she picked me to spend their last moments on earth with. I hope I am that fortunate to have someone I love and care about with me, at the end.
But we all feel differently about that, I do understand.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@aninditasen
The deaths of loved ones is very traumatic. They are part of our lives, and then suddenly, they are gone. I know it is extremely difficult.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55901)
• Los Angeles, California
13 Jul 23
I don't blame you for all that is on your list!
I never want to go through a pandemic ever, ever again.
I never want to go through the hurtful endings of certain friendships.
I never want to go through the family stresses I had in my life.
I never want to go through the days of my wishy-washiness.
I never want to go through a chemically toxic work environment.
And I'm sure there are plenty more to add 
.
.1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
That's a long list, but well thought out, for sure. I cannot argue with any of those points, None of them are anything any of us want to go through. 
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@TheSojourner
It is said that no one can hurt like family. It's just sad.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@TheSojourner
It certainly is, especially when there are other family members who think you shouldn't do that. 
1 person likes this
@rakski (125761)
• Philippines
23 Nov 23
@MarieCoyle
let's just say that because of some incident that was not of our doing, me and my sibling became the 'unwelcome' relatives on both sides.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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23 Nov 23
Nothing can be as joyful as dealing with family. And in turn, nothing can be more difficult or hurt more than dealing with certain family members at times. I know it can be truly miserable, I'm sorry.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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23 Nov 23
@rakski
I am so sorry. It's so sad when things like that happen.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121659)
• Gainesville, Florida
13 Jul 23
Those are some good (meaning bad) things on your list.
I never want to have my identity stolen again. It was stolen when I was in college, and it put me through years of hell trying to restore my credit and good name.
I never want to have my credit card number stolen or hacked. Or my bank account.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121659)
• Gainesville, Florida
13 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle It was a nightmare at the time, especially because it was back in the days before they had laws protecting people whose identity was stolen. It was very difficult then to try and prove purchases made in my name were not actually me doing the purchasing. Thankfully, nowadays we have better laws and processes that help people recover from stolen identities.
I do try to use humor in my situation. I often say that I hope the next time someone steals my identity, that they make something of myself like becoming a famous actor, or a doctor or a lawyer or something.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
@moffittjc I just hope there never is a next time, what a nightmare, Jeff!
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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13 Jul 23
The person who stole my wallet also somehow used my debit card and cleaned out my account. They got caught via camera, and I did get all of my money back that he spent, but it took a bit of time. I am so sorry that happened to you--it sounds like a complete nightmare, Jeff!
1 person likes this
@sallypup (61561)
• Centralia, Washington
17 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle Agreed aout losing animals. I found an animal hospice group on Facebook. Sweet folks there cried me through the long days.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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17 Jul 23
When I was young, I did like the Ferris wheel. I think because it went very slow, and I thought I could see the world from up there. That was the only fair-type of ride I would go on.
I hope you never have to do that, either. The hardest part of having an animal is losing them, they just don't get enough time with us.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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17 Jul 23
@sallypup
OK...maybe I'm crazy (probably no doubt!) but when I lose a pet, I find myself still watching for him/here...or I imagine I am seeing them down at my feet or...it's hard to explain. I lost a Westie a few years ago to illness and old age. She was so special, and so devoted. She followed me everywhere. Little white fluffball...I swear I saw that white flash for weeks, it was strange. It's like she was telling me to move on...that I could go on, just remembering all we had been to each other.
I still miss her, she was so special. She and my Pembroke Corgi were the smartest dogs I ever had.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40316)
• Laguna Woods, California
17 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle - I NEVER want to go skydiving! I'm not even sure I would be comfortable in a hot-air balloon. I have heard about some terrible accidents. I went zip-lining once, and that was scary enough. I guess I like having my feet firmly on the ground, as much as possible!
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40316)
• Laguna Woods, California
18 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle - Yes, we live in California and sometimes we sometimes see people parasailing along the coast. It is not something I have ever wanted to do. I remember seeing on the news a long time ago the accident where a young man blew into a building in Florida. I don't know if it was the same incident when you were there, but it was horrible. I have seen on the news other people who blew into bridges, piers and other obstacles. I have no desire to do that. 
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40316)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Jul 23
@MarieCoyle - When my children were young, we visited Niagara Falls. A woman had a fight with her husband and jumped in the river. She was carried to the edge of the falls and grabbed onto a big boulder, screaming "Help" the whole time. Finally, they brought a helicopter and saved her. However, our daughters were so upset while we watched, wondering if she would be swept over the edge of the falls, or whether they would be able to save her in time. It was awful.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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18 Jul 23
@DeborahDiane
The incident I described was years ago, but who knows, maybe it was the same person. All I know is it was truly horrible, and I was sorry...for the person, the family, and my own 2 oldest, who were there when it happened. It shook us all up terribly.
1 person likes this
@porwest (92403)
• United States
16 Oct 23
Burn my foot. I know that's probably not the type of thing you were looking for. But I don't want to ever burn my foot ever again.
When I was a kid the fam were with a group of people at the beach on the naval base in Coronado and they made pork chops on the grill. I went over to get another one and somebody in a nearby site decided to bury hot coals in the sand and I stepped in it.
1st, 2nd and 3rd degree burns and almost had to have skin grafts. I was probably 8 at the time. To this day I can't imagine what kind of a moron would think it would be a good idea to bury hot coals in the sand.
1 person likes this
@porwest (92403)
• United States
17 Oct 23
@MarieCoyle I don't recall anyone coming forward. I do remember being rushed to the dispensary on base though.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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17 Oct 23
@porwest
I cannot even imagine how much that hurt.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
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17 Oct 23
Burns hurt so, so terribly bad. I've had a few, one was terrible--not big but so deep. That truly was an idiotic thing for someone to bury in the sand. I suppose if the person who did it was there and knew you were badly hurt, he or she did not come forward.
Some people have no brains.
1 person likes this
