Do you get over it quickly?

@AmbiePam (91947)
United States
August 14, 2023 11:55am CST
My sister is pretty irked with my dad (yes, I said irked), and when I tried to explain to him why, his reply was, "She can get glad in the same britches she got mad in" So basically, Sorry, Charlie! He used to say that to us growing up when we'd get upset with him. I'm not really sure when she's going to let her issue go, but she's been upset longer with him than I thought. As my dad gets older, I'm much more inclined to let things go because we never know how much time we all have left. I'm not sure she's thinking about that. And really, it's hurt, not anger. He just can't see her point of view, unfortunately. Life is just too short for that stuff. I think we just have to remember how much the good outweighs the bad. But hey, for about ten days I'm suddenly my sister's favorite relative! Not counting her husband and kids, of course. How quickly do you "get over things"?
29 people like this
29 responses
@snowy22315 (179729)
• United States
14 Aug 23
Something happened to my response...I don't get over things quickly, but it depends on who is doing what, and the circumstances around it.Did she tell dad she was hurt by him?
4 people like this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
14 Aug 23
Apparently, he's done this before, she's told him, and he's said he'd do better. He does for awhile, but then goes back to his old habits. This time, she didn't bother telling him, she just quit returning his texts. Honestly, I can see both their sides, but ultimately, I think my sister is right. I don't agree with ignoring him because you never know when it's our last day on earth, but if forced to choose sides, I'm surprised to say I'd side with her. And, I think my dad knows that.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (179729)
• United States
14 Aug 23
@AmbiePam I sympathize Sis and I are more or less in a permanent state of irked with my mom because of her behaviors. I think at 85 though she isn't gonna change, and bottom line wie do love her and want her in our lives..so??. I remember you talking about a tiff with your dad and sis before.Good luck!
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
14 Aug 23
@snowy22315 Thanks, snowy.
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (50080)
• United States
14 Aug 23
It truly is best not to go to bed mad. We are not promised tomorrow. I try very hard to forgive and move on.
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
14 Aug 23
That is wise.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (50080)
• United States
15 Aug 23
@TheHorse the forgetting is hard.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (217891)
• Walnut Creek, California
15 Aug 23
I forgive pretty well. But I sometimes find it hard to forget.
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (89741)
• Arvada, Colorado
14 Aug 23
Oh dear still? I like that saying what your Dad said though.
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@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
14 Aug 23
He used to say that to us as kids, and we’d get so annoyed.
1 person likes this
• Arvada, Colorado
15 Aug 23
1 person likes this
• Arvada, Colorado
15 Aug 23
@AmbiePam By the way I have not heard that term britches for many years. haha
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (470779)
• Switzerland
15 Aug 23
It depends, sometimes I get over things in no time, but other times I have a hard time letting things go.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (470779)
• Switzerland
16 Aug 23
@TheHorse It varies by situation and person involved.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (217891)
• Walnut Creek, California
15 Aug 23
Same here. It varies by situation.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137249)
• United States
14 Aug 23
It honestly depends on what I'm upset about in the first place. Usually, I just shrug things off and go on but, if someone really pisses me off, I stay pissed for a long time.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
14 Aug 23
It’s probably fairly easy to let go of things with Pretty, isn’t it? On the rare occasions we’d upset my dad he’d move past it really quickly. Which is a good reason for her to get over this, really.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
14 Aug 23
@DaddyEvil Oh, wow!
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137249)
• United States
14 Aug 23
@AmbiePam Usually, between Pretty and I, we get mad for a little while and then go back to normal for us. The most we've ever stayed mad is a day or so. With my mom, she pissed me off so badly once that I didn't talk to her for two years.
2 people like this
@just4him (317004)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Aug 23
I'm sorry your sister is having an issue with your father. I hope she can get over the hurt soon. I won't say I don't get hurt, but I don't let it bother me for too long. Maybe a day. No more than that. That's stretching it, because most of the time, it's over and done with quickly.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (217891)
• Walnut Creek, California
15 Aug 23
I am good at forgiving. It's in my religious "DNA." But forgetting can be another matter.
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@just4him (317004)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Aug 23
@TheHorse Sometimes forgetting is hard.
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@much2say (55318)
• Los Angeles, California
15 Aug 23
I guess it really depends on what "it" means. On the note of parents, I got over things in time . . . my younger sister did not and still goes on and on about past things even though my dad passed last year - now she "reminds" my mom in an almost unforgiving tone. Like you said, life is too short . . . I am glad I made my peace with my dad and that I could truly get over "that stuff".
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@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
15 Aug 23
I think we have to make peace. Who wants to live with regrets, you know?
1 person likes this
@much2say (55318)
• Los Angeles, California
15 Aug 23
@AmbiePam That's right. The sooner we get over certain things, the better.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (112738)
• El Paso, Texas
17 Aug 23
Good question. Family issues can fester for years and on occasion it's wise to simply divorce those family members who cause the most harm.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
17 Aug 23
That is what my cousins did with my mom’s brother. And quite frankly, it was about time.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (112738)
• El Paso, Texas
17 Aug 23
Yeah, it's never easy to face the truth about family and usually by the time we do we're fairly old
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (105254)
• Marion, Ohio
14 Aug 23
As I have got older I try to let things go
2 people like this
@xFiacre (12912)
• Ireland
14 Aug 23
@ambiepam Ah, family disputes. I’m not much good at those. I used to hold on to grievances but you’re right - life’s too short. My father always said that forgiveness is the most important thing. He had plenty of practice!
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
14 Aug 23
When is your book coming out? I know there is a novel in all of those stories that should be told.
1 person likes this
@Dena91 (16576)
• United States
15 Aug 23
It depends on who and why I would be upset. Most of the time I can let most things go fairly easily. But not all things. I hope things will be resolved between your sister and father.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
15 Aug 23
Thank you, me too.
1 person likes this
• Peoria, Arizona
14 Aug 23
Depends on what the situation is, most of the time I just let things slide off because I just have too much to do to deal with anger. But there are some things that kinda stick, they may not be a priority, but I will make snide jokes, for example, my grandma saying I am a liar. My mother and I kept having a joke all weekend saying that I am a "liar" with anything I said. Humor helps get over things, that is for sure
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
14 Aug 23
I’m glad your mom was able to help you make light of it considering how frustrating your grandmother was being.
• Peoria, Arizona
15 Aug 23
@AmbiePam We share the same way of coping and humor, so it helps a lot.
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@LindaOHio (176669)
• United States
15 Aug 23
Unfortunately I don't get over things easily at all. I'm still angry about things that happened decades ago.
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@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
15 Aug 23
Some people are just wired differently. And sometimes we can fool ourselves thinking we’re over things. I thought I was over something that happened twenty years ago. Hadn’t thought about it at all, until one day it popped into my mind, and all the anger came rising back. I was like, wait, I thought I was over it!
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (176669)
• United States
16 Aug 23
@AmbiePam Yes. You don't get closure on those types of things; and they keep surfacing with thoughts of "I wish I would have said....".
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@arunima25 (87737)
• Bangalore, India
15 Aug 23
I don't have a right answer for that. Sometimes I get over things very quick, but then there are things that I am not able to get over quick despite all logical reasoning that I give to myself. I get stuck. I consciously try to forgive and move on, but forgetting it completely is not possible.
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@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
15 Aug 23
I think you give a very thoughtful answer, that a lot of people would agree with if they tried to articulate.
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@arunima25 (87737)
• Bangalore, India
17 Aug 23
@AmbiePam Thank you for agreeing.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160488)
• United States
14 Aug 23
Unfortunately some things hang on forever, and I suffer the consequences of holding on to things. On the other hand, most of the time I get over "it" pretty quickly at least to the point of peaceful coexistence. It depends on who I am irked at.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
14 Aug 23
I feel like I should make you mediator, and my sister and dad should abide by your decision. Unfortunately, my dad still doesn’t seem to realize he’s got a real problem.
@dodo19 (47315)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
15 Aug 23
Somethings I have an easier time let go and getting over. It just depends on the situation and what it is.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (60790)
• Centralia, Washington
14 Aug 23
So she isn't talking it out with Dad? I'm sorry for this.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (91947)
• United States
14 Aug 23
Not right now at least. Which makes me sad because that means she isn't going to have her kids connect with their grandpa unless they work it out.
@TheHorse (217891)
• Walnut Creek, California
15 Aug 23
I try to move on. But it is not always easy.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83334)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
15 Aug 23
That was cool, you suddenly became your sister's favorite hehe. I can quickly get things over.
1 person likes this
@Treborika (17661)
• Mombasa, Kenya
15 Aug 23
I too don't get over things with me very quickly. I can take a long time to.
1 person likes this