It's Friday, Ya Beatniks! (MyLot Exclusive #1386)

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My fellow Brazilians ((Who I am currently visiting for no sus reason whatsoever)), Canadians, Mexicans, Americans and so on and so forth, it genuinely pains me to inform you that this system is so rigged and unfair. I won't attempt to sugarcoat it. The Truth is, after reading the Literary Masterpiece I wrote last night, my Editors (Style Manual, et al) and Agent (Drusilla), aided and abetted by my Corrupt Security Team (Buffy, Faith, Batgirl, Wonder Woman, et al) and many others, locked up my Word Processor and I had to pass a Breathalyzer this morning to get it back. It only took me eight tries but still, it was a major inconvenience and a total disgrace. But don't worry about me. Worry about You. Because it is You they are After! I'm just in their Way! Many Writers say they’re willing to fight for you. They say they’re willing to stand up to the nefarious forces who are bleeding our nation dry. But how many are willing to be treated so unfairly as an INNOCENT SOBER MAN for refusing to bend a knee before the Criminal Political Ruling Class? ::SPOILER ALERT:: It's just me! Your All-Time-Favorite Writer! Better than Hemingway, Shakespeare, Dickens, and many others! And, so I don't get misquoted again, I have to point out that I gladly bend a knee before them when it's for the right reason(s)! The Deep State has finally met its match. They cannot break me, bully me, or buy me. I have never been more committed to saving our Galaxy and restoring power to its rightful place – with YOU, my 226.4 Billion Loyal Dedicated Daily Readers! You know that I have always been a fighter. I fought against the communists in Vietnam, I fought against the crooks in Washington, and I fought against the traitors in Congress. I rode a tank, held a general's rank, when the Blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank. And I laid traps for troubadours who got killed before they reached Bombay! ((Note to the Deep State Nitpickers: Back off, man. I have special and very official express written permission from @vandana7 to keep calling it Bombay instead of Mumbai)) I never gave up, and I never gave in. And now, I am fighting against the most dangerous enemy of all – the Deep State. They are a shadowy network of bureaucrats, spies, media moguls, and global elites, AKA All The Best People Who I Hired, who want to destroy our democracy and impose their will on everyone in this Galactic Sector! By making me prove I'm sober! But it will go very badly for them. Because you are the reason I will win this war. Because together, we are unstoppable. Together, we are invincible. Together, we are the Galaxy! So join me, my friends, in this final battle for your freedom and your future. Don’t let them silence you, don’t let them scare you, and don’t let them stop you. Stand with me as I get in their way, and stand with your Universe. Insure Victory for yourself! By getting them off my back! And remember ----I am not a Drunk!