Unusual Reasons for Wearing a Mask

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I've been out of the mylot scene for quite a while. Members who know me are familiar with my "tongue in cheek' humor posting. I am thankful to Always smiling @allknowing for providing the idea for this irreverent piece of writing brought forth from my congenital malfunctioning brain. In response to Always smiling's (one reason not to wear a mask) post, "Reason to wear a mask" I wrote, "HALITOSIS" Here are other reasons I came up with: 1. If ever I start growing a mustache. 2. Lost my denture. 3. Runny nose and too cheap to buy tissue paper. 4. Accidentally meet a person I don't like and be able to stick my tongue out at her. With a man I don't need a mask but that would be flirting. 5. When I want to avoid people detecting I am lying. But I also wear shades. 6. I'm in an elevator and start farting noisily. Mostly to hide my shame rather than my identity. With silent farts you simply look at another person among the elevator crowd and grimace, thereby passing the despicable act to them. Sanity has return so I am at a lost to continue the list. Any suggestions?