An enjoyable play date yesterday! / myLot

Walnut Creek, California

August 4, 2024 9:33am CST

My friend Tereese stopped by yesterday afternoon to swim with me. We sat in the shade (her choice) and caught up. She just got her MA in Library Science down in LA and has returned to the Bay Area. We swam and continued blabbing the whole time. She is younger and has some boy drama in her life. She has a mutual crush with a boy (in his 30s) who has a girlfriend. I told her straight up that I was going to go into "therapist mode" and do more "listening" than "advice giving." Are you able to resist the temptation to give advice when people tell you about what's happening in their lives? Anyway, it was a good time.

14 people like this

11 responses

Kharla Jolly

@kobesbuddy (78889)

• East Tawas, Michigan

4 Aug

I immediately go into therapist mode(not a therapist). Their issue seems very simple to me, as an outside source. Yet, if I was going through the exact same situation, I'd have no idea what might work! I'd more than likely, contact the Horse:)

3 people like this

The Horse

@TheHorse (214698)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Aug

I am a source of infinite wisdom. A legend in my own mind!

2 people like this

Kharla Jolly

@kobesbuddy (78889)

• East Tawas, Michigan

4 Aug

@TheHorse When it comes to grandkids, I am a legend in my own mind! lol

1 person likes this

Ptrikha_2

@ptrikha_2 (46567)

• India

4 Aug

Sometimes I tend to jump in amd give "advice". However, now I have become more careful and try not to do that until asked to do so. And well, many people just tell a few things about their lives.

2 people like this

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Ptrikha_2

@ptrikha_2 (46567)

• India

5 Aug

@TheHorse That would have come after a lot of "Practice" ?

2 people like this

The Horse

@TheHorse (214698)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Aug

I have earned, partially from my training, not to "give advice."

2 people like this

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Heather Echola

@GardenGerty (159885)

• United States

4 Aug

Oh, it sounds like a good time. Sometimes listening is the best thing as then they can "talk it out" themselves.

2 people like this

The Horse

@TheHorse (214698)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Aug

Exactly. You help people the most when you listen well and let them come up with their own solutions.

1 person likes this

Judy Evans

@JudyEv (335364)

• Rockingham, Australia

5 Aug

I always try never to give advice. I might suggest options but never give outright advice. It can come back to bite you.

2 people like this

The Horse

@TheHorse (214698)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Aug

Not giving advice is a big part of clinical psych training.

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PLETHOS

@Plethos (13581)

• United States

4 Aug

ive been told that im a good listener and honest with my feedback.

2 people like this

LindaOH

@LindaOHio (171927)

• United States

4 Aug

Yes, depending on who it is, I am tempted to give advice. After all, I've been through a lot of things in my long life. Have a good day.

2 people like this

The Horse

@TheHorse (214698)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Aug

You too.

2 people like this

LindaOH

@LindaOHio (171927)

• United States

5 Aug

@TheHorse Thank you very much.

1 person likes this

Kareng

@kareng (59055)

• United States

4 Aug

That's the best way to handle it! That way she can't get mad at you if she follows the advice you gave her and it did not work out. Stay neutral, and just listen keeps you and your friendship safe!

1 person likes this