An enjoyable play date yesterday! / myLot

Walnut Creek, California

August 4, 2024 9:33am CST

My friend Tereese stopped by yesterday afternoon to swim with me. We sat in the shade (her choice) and caught up. She just got her MA in Library Science down in LA and has returned to the Bay Area. We swam and continued blabbing the whole time. She is younger and has some boy drama in her life. She has a mutual crush with a boy (in his 30s) who has a girlfriend. I told her straight up that I was going to go into "therapist mode" and do more "listening" than "advice giving." Are you able to resist the temptation to give advice when people tell you about what's happening in their lives? Anyway, it was a good time.

12 people like this

10 responses

Kharla Jolly

@kobesbuddy (78850)

• East Tawas, Michigan

4 Aug 24

I immediately go into therapist mode(not a therapist). Their issue seems very simple to me, as an outside source. Yet, if I was going through the exact same situation, I'd have no idea what might work! I'd more than likely, contact the Horse:)

2 people like this

The Horse

@TheHorse (231336)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Aug 24

I am a source of infinite wisdom. A legend in my own mind!

1 person likes this

Kharla Jolly

@kobesbuddy (78850)

• East Tawas, Michigan

4 Aug 24

@TheHorse When it comes to grandkids, I am a legend in my own mind! lol

Ptrikha_2

@ptrikha_2 (48491)

• India

4 Aug 24

Sometimes I tend to jump in amd give "advice". However, now I have become more careful and try not to do that until asked to do so. And well, many people just tell a few things about their lives.

1 person likes this

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Ptrikha_2

@ptrikha_2 (48491)

• India

5 Aug 24

@TheHorse That would have come after a lot of "Practice" ?

1 person likes this

The Horse

@TheHorse (231336)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Aug 24

I have earned, partially from my training, not to "give advice."

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Heather Echola

@GardenGerty (166027)

• United States

4 Aug 24

Oh, it sounds like a good time. Sometimes listening is the best thing as then they can "talk it out" themselves.

1 person likes this

The Horse

@TheHorse (231336)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Aug 24

Exactly. You help people the most when you listen well and let them come up with their own solutions.

Judy Evans

@JudyEv (363805)

• Rockingham, Australia

5 Aug 24

I always try never to give advice. I might suggest options but never give outright advice. It can come back to bite you.

1 person likes this

The Horse

@TheHorse (231336)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Aug 24

Not giving advice is a big part of clinical psych training.

1 person likes this

PLETHOS

@Plethos (13581)

• United States

4 Aug 24

ive been told that im a good listener and honest with my feedback.

1 person likes this

LindaOH

@LindaOHio (203102)

• United States

4 Aug 24

Yes, depending on who it is, I am tempted to give advice. After all, I've been through a lot of things in my long life. Have a good day.

1 person likes this

The Horse

@TheHorse (231336)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Aug 24

You too.

1 person likes this

LindaOH

@LindaOHio (203102)

• United States

5 Aug 24

@TheHorse Thank you very much.

Kareng

@kareng (79655)

• United States

5 Aug 24

That's the best way to handle it! That way she can't get mad at you if she follows the advice you gave her and it did not work out. Stay neutral, and just listen keeps you and your friendship safe!

Anna

@LadyDuck (484841)

• Italy

4 Aug 24

OH yes, I avoid to give advice, if people make a mistake and you gave an advice you may guess they say it's because of what you suggested.

Eva James

@wolfgirl569 (123505)

• Marion, Ohio

4 Aug 24

It can be hard at times but I usually do

RasmaSandra

@RasmaSandra (89738)

• Daytona Beach, Florida

4 Aug 24

I have always enjoyed helping people with advice if I was sure about something or at least relating my experience to them.