If some people stubbornly want to stay in the past, what can we do?
By Greenery8
@grenery8 (10606)
Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
October 31, 2024 11:45am CST
Things change, life is hard, unemployment rate even though you're educated is higher and higher. If you're a part of a family, it reflects on them too and if same unfortunate things happen, you can't stay the same, right?
And you can't look everything as a joke. That's right, a joke. Just a few minutes of seriousness, then a joke, then foolish words it will be okay. Maybe you can digest foolish words, ok, they symbolize hope but everything to be as a joke, there comes the day when you don't want to be a part of that. Maybe you want to grow up or just not being always the same and simply nodding or agreeing to everything cause it's easier.
Then you distance yourself, set some boundaries with family members and this whole year or more, they can't hear you. You ask not to mention money, they do. When you say, let's be formal and talk about a few things, they ask you about your private life, knowing or ignoring that if you don't have a stable job or job, how could you find someone or who is going to like you. While this communication lasts, you feel suffocation and realise things for them won't change. You fight, you make up, they say sorry but they say sorry automatically, they don't get it.
Some would say well, share things with them, open their eyes. Well, tried that, done that. They come back to their old ways and that just doesn't suit you anymore. Life hurt you, they hurt you, ignored you many times, your life situations and you're tired of giving chances to a relation which is practically dead. Dead if only one person is doing all the work.
Some would say but give one more chance. That one more chance this year was countless also, why giving my heart into this when i had some hard moments and these people weren't there for me but expect me to be their salvation.
No. It gets too tiring, exhausting and who wants to be jester any longer.
Is this a story you can relate to? It might be mine but not neccessarily.
I remembered this song. It is kind of true, in the end, it doesn't really matter.
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7 people like this
9 responses
@anya12adwi (9360)
• India
31 Oct
Felt like I am reading my experience!! You do you!! It is sometimes hard to control the emotions but we have to find our own happiness!
2 people like this
@anya12adwi (9360)
• India
2 Nov
@grenery8 But do you know that there's no actuality in the story!! It is taken from the buddhist jataka katha and made into lord!!
2 people like this
@grenery8 (10606)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
2 Nov
@anya12adwi it is his story,of the buddhist?but by their way of life,they are already in exile,away from people.really...
2 people like this
@aureategloom (9538)
• Bosnia And Herzegovina
1 Nov
i'm sorry you have to deal with all that. set the boundaries and do what works best for you and your mental health. i hope you find a way to get away from that kind of environment 
luckily, it's not relatable. but i did like this song before. much more than nowadays 
luckily, it's not relatable. but i did like this song before. much more than nowadays 2 people like this
@aureategloom (9538)
• Bosnia And Herzegovina
5 Nov
@grenery8 mental health is as important. and yes, i used to listen to linkin park. i still do 
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (10606)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
6 Nov
@aureategloom o, really? nice, metal girl
1 person likes this
@jobelbojel (35577)
• Philippines
1 Nov
I would say yes. The unemployment rate is high and even educated people does not get higher pays - resorted to work other jobs that are not aligned to their diploma or certificate
2 people like this
@grenery8 (10606)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
1 Nov
boundaries is a good solution but after some time, they can't be applied cause, the other side is constantly setting their own rules. even though we want to be thankful but sometimes those who claim they are close to us, without real support, they are toxic. thank you
2 people like this
@everwonderwhy (7340)
•
2 Nov
You've made many great, balanced and life-changing-moving-on points there. We know where and when to draw the line and setting bounderies from people who tend to become so toxic that IF we allow them, they stifle our own growth and progress. Let them go and pursue your own attainable, doable dreams.
2 people like this
@grenery8 (10606)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
2 Nov
Whoever is going through this, might be me or someone else, should maybe accept to end as a loner cause toxicity kills and is harming.you may wait for years and it's still there and it's not all in your head. Toxic people are not serial killers, they are usually the ones we trust the most and they know our weak spots.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (35608)
•
2 Nov
I don't think you can change someone's mindset. They may be concerned about your well-being but express it in a way that puts you off. We all have shortcomings, sometimes things just happen which are out of our control. Since these people have not gone through your personal experiences they really cannot relate.
2 people like this
@grenery8 (10606)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
2 Nov
By theory,i know we can't but, sometimes you just expect some willingness in any way;of you not opening anymore cause, you don't wanna be hurting anymore yet,nothing. Yes, they can't relate but why being mean and playing the same melody of not caring then caring and instructing you about some things while you did your own thing good on your own or not but you did it on your own, without them. Then being mad at you cause you make things not easy and not forgiving,making you feel the problem lies only with you,cause you said it and you had anxiety and they didn't. All that could be said was sorry we weren't there for you.not just silencing you with words of the new start,ignoring how you feel and everything you said in a passive agressive way towards you. You also ignore all these bad years,hoping they will see you struggling but it was better to accept the fact you're going to end as a loner.but,better that than someone playing mind games over and over again,right?
2 people like this
@dgobucks226 (35608)
•
3 Nov
@grenery8 I agree with the points you're making. What's that saying, "put yourself in my shoes." Some can be empathetic others can't.
"If you attach yourself to the negative behavior of others, it brings you down to their level." — Guru Singh.
Stay strong and do your best. In the end the only person whose opinion matters is your own...
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (10606)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
4 Nov
@dgobucks226 it's not easy to be strong or acting like you're strong but thank you from the heart.and very nice quotes,especially the second.i'm living in the hell for a decade,even more with 0family members offering me sympathy.i wish i had a sister who dotted on me perhaps instead of ganging with her friends or acquintances trying to humiliate me whenever she could.this is me time now.thank you.
1 person likes this
@luisadannointed (6189)
• Philippines
1 Nov
It happens all the time, I will never get shock about it. All I do is just ignore them and never let myself get by those harmful treatment and harmful words from them.
But what matter is you do everything you can to pull yourself out of the misery and if nothing is really going right just keep going and never give up. Coz it can happen to people they can fail a thousand times but one thing is for sure there is always victory at the end of the road for those who never give up.
2 people like this
@grenery8 (10606)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
1 Nov
you have a strong mind and a spirit but some don't or after so long, they became weak and it is hard to shake it off. i like that you mentioned victory. even in all those historical battles, the taste of victory was always sweet. thank you for your answer
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (10606)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
2 Nov
You know these people for so long and they always told you family comes first and when your turn comes,it isn't the case but,they keep repeating they want you in their life.how,when they don't care.noone expects to turn out as a loner,sad.
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (2209)
• India
3 Nov
We have all gone through those experiences in one way or other, for better or worse. Over time , I have realized is we need to be self caring as well as be tactful. I have had situations where I had cut off certain relationships once and for all. It served me well. They may be doing well without me , but their presence in my life has been more nusance than ever. Again, when it comes to money , state your debts and unstable job and lend very less. See if they reciprocate to you , if none use that pretext for a long time, it works with most. We cannot judge others , neither we can make them learn certain things. It is better we adopt slowly but silently and move on. Share our happiness who care for own happiness , even cats and dogs help in that aspect. Take care!
@grenery8 (10606)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
3 Nov
i gave chances just to be formal; now and then some message but, no, they violated that constantly. i pity my younger self and i said this last time to one family member it' so disappointing that all this time i've been alone in this relation but not a word from her and that constant silence which meant to figure it out on my own.
i blocked her cause, she misses ilusion, not the real me. revelation that there was no deepness and that we all got along only when we were pretending we're happy and kept our mouths shut is hurting now. i postponed being a loner but, i always had been and these people around me were too but that doesn't mean they can exploit my emotions due to that. also, how many times i've heard, look at the other families or i wasn't that unfilial to my mother and so on.
you are right, cutting it off is the best cause i spent a decade of only being unhappy and they treated me like a spoiled child. they treated me the same as i came from graduating university when i said i'm not okay. silence, you're kidding and always same dialogue all these years. i didn't want to end as a loner but i should embrace it now and trying not to be happy but content and peaceful. i am scared, always been cause, what if something happens to me, who to call but, i guess noone now and that's okay.
also, they knew everything about me and i didn't about them though i asked. o, we don't remember and turning it back to me. and when i didn't want to share, then it was something weird going on.
House is right (dr. House), don't trust anyone.
1 person likes this
