Update: Mystery of the stranger on my porch at 3AM.
By Marie Coyle
@MarieCoyle (38590)
November 30, 2024 7:15pm CST
I did post in the night when my door camera went off, and there was an older man on my porch. It was nearly 3AM, and no, I didn't open the door. I didn't recognize him...but I did call the police, as the man did not seem quite normal, he seemed a bit confused and disoriented. Police came, got the footage on the camera, etc. and looked for a long time, but could not find him.
They did tell me if I knew of anyone else nearby that had a camera, to ask them if they had footage. One of my neighbors up the street installed one not long ago, I knew that as she had asked me about mine, the costs, etc. I called her, but she didn't have anyone walk by or come to her porch in the night. However, she knew who it might be--and she was right! An older couple moved in at the end of my street about a month ago. I have not met them, it appears they rarely go anywhere. The wife waves when she sees me drive by, the husband often sits by the garage door in his lawn chair, but he wears a hat and hangs his head, so I didn't know what he looked like. He was the one walking around, and set off the camera.
It is my understanding that he has Alzheimer's. He got away from his wife the other day and was found sitting on the steps of the post office, about 4 blocks away. When questioned about last night, after a time he told his wife that she was asleep in the chair (probably from exhaustion) and he went out to ''find and beat up the guy who owes me money'' which his wife says isn't possible, as he doesn't carry any money. He said he went out but he came back when he couldn't find the guy.
His wife isn't very well at all, they have been approved for a caregiver, but there appear to be a shortage of the home caregivers, and they do not have one yet. They plan on putting alarms on the back and front door, that will go off if he tries to leave without her knowledge. His wife also said he has become very angry and aggressive lately, so I am certainly glad it ended well, but oh, do I ever feel sorry for her.
I hope they get the help they need very soon. If not, he will have to go to a memory care facility.
Getting older is not for wussies.
22 people like this
19 responses
@kaylachan (71590)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
1 Dec
I feel bad for anyone in that situation. And for a husband and wife to be seperated like that. I hope they get a caregiver. I understand about the wondering and anger and agression, all common for altimizers.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
It's just so sad. It's my understanding that before this hit him so hard, he was an active, loving husband and father. What a mean disease, to take away the mind of a loved one, and leave the shell...I hurt for her as well as for him.
3 people like this
@kaylachan (71590)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
1 Dec
@MarieCoyle So do I. My mother-in-law spent the last few years of her life in a memory care home. And, the last time my husband saw her, was two years before she passed. Looking back at it, while he wanted to say one final goodbye (she passed before we could get down there) he realizes he's happy that his last memory of her alive was a good one.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (51485)
• Canada
1 Dec
You are right, my Dad used to tell me that getting old ain't for sissies. 
Those alarms for the doors are quite handy and growing in popularity as people who have children with autism use them and they are effective as you can program them to tell you the patio door or the front door or the door to the garage.
At the very least he should be wearing a medic alert tag, either on his wrist or around his neck just in case this happens again.
Those alarms for the doors are quite handy and growing in popularity as people who have children with autism use them and they are effective as you can program them to tell you the patio door or the front door or the door to the garage.
At the very least he should be wearing a medic alert tag, either on his wrist or around his neck just in case this happens again.3 people like this
@Juliaacv (51485)
• Canada
1 Dec
@MarieCoyle My grandmother had dementia.
She went over to the pasture fence one morning to put out some orange peelings and a snow squall began. She fell on her way back to the house and was missing for almost an hour because when she got back up again she walked past their house down the driveway and was found wandering in the field across the road. Between the snow squall and her fall she became more disorientated.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
I agree, I didn't ask if he had a tag or a wrist band or anything. I do know people who have put in the door alarms, and they work well. I hope she can get those in soon. It's my bet he will end up in a facility, caregiver or no, he is a handful to care for from what his wife said.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
@Juliaacv
Oh, my! How lucky that she was found in time. It could have ended very badly.
1 person likes this
@kareng (61309)
• United States
1 Dec
Nope getting older is now for the wussies or any fun!!
I'm glad you did not open the door! That could have been a bad situation with him looking for someone that he thought owed him money! And ALZ on top of it all. Please be careful! And I too, hope they get some help soon!
2 people like this
@kareng (61309)
• United States
1 Dec
@MarieCoyle I don't blame you at all on that!
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
Now that I know who he is and where he lives, at least if it happens again (I hope not!) I can get help for him or call for help. But no, I won’t be opening my door for anyone at 3AM
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
They have several adult children, one will be putting in door alarms, and they are trying to figure out if they can manage to be there more often to help, at least until a caregiver or two has been found. I hope they can.
You are right...impossible. The wife isn't very well and just can't keep up. I think she might manage for herself, but he moves fast.
4 people like this
@snowy22315 (182000)
• United States
1 Dec
Oh that is sad. So far my dad has not tried to wander anywhere.. The other guy we know Peter wanders a bit but usually not too far away.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (182000)
• United States
1 Dec
@MarieCoyle He will have to be locked down if he does that, but honestly, he doesn't walk really well. I am not sure he would do that It would be difficult for him. He would likely get hurt.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
So very concerning when they wandering stage sets in. I am glad your Dad isn't doing that, Snowy.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
@snowy22315
It's so concerning to try to keep them safe. Blink your eyes and the person can get away from his/her caregiver.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (107932)
• Marion, Ohio
1 Dec
Glad that's all it was. If he is getting aggressive he needs to be in a home for her safety.
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (107932)
• Marion, Ohio
2 Dec
@MarieCoyle If they have no family they can live with it would be best for both.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
2 Dec
@wolfgirl569
In this case, most definitely. She can barely manage caring for herself, let alone someone like him.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
1 Dec
Just in case, close firmly your door (and windows).People like that don´t mean harm but they can do it.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
Marga, it’s winter here. My windows are all tightly closed and locked. And I have always kept my doors locked. I would not answer the door in the middle of the night, not ever. But thank you, I know you truly care about my safety and I appreciate you!
1 person likes this
@allknowing (137597)
• India
1 Dec
That is a dreadful disease not just for the patient but those that care for them.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (137597)
• India
2 Dec
@MarieCoyle There are ways to keep one's memory intact before one loses it.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
2 Dec
@allknowing
There is no cure for Alzheimer's. Maybe someday, but not yet.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (68918)
• United States
1 Dec
I know you’re relieved that it wasn’t someone with evil intentions, but you’re probably also disheartened by the facts of his illness and his wife’s inability to care for him. My prayers are with them. 
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
I don't see how she will be able to manage the situation much longer.
1 person likes this
@rakski (125882)
• Philippines
1 Dec
@MarieCoyle Yes, I hope they can have one soon
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
Oh, so do I. She needs that to happen as soon as possible.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (181320)
• United States
1 Dec
That is so, so sad. That woman has a lot on her plate.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
2 Dec
I never opened the door, so he had no opportunity to do anything. I was just concerned as he didn't appear to be acting normally.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
3 Dec
@grenery8
If it's not someone I know, or a repairman I expect, etc. the door is not going to get opened. And they only way I would open it at 3 AM is if one of my children was standing there, and they wouldn't do that--if they ever tried it, they would call first, and it would have to be an emergency.
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (11100)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
2 Dec
@MarieCoyle it's good you have cameras and didn't open.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160909)
• United States
1 Dec
I am glad that the mystery is solved and it ended with no one being harmed or anything. It is hard to get old and not have anyone to help you.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
2 Dec
I think from what I have heard, he progressed very quickly and she didn't realize until recently just how bad he really was. I don't think she is well enough to care for anyone at all.
@popciclecold (39475)
• United States
1 Dec
Wow, what an experience. I'm glad it turned ok.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
1 Dec
I have a feeling they are going to have to move quickly to find him a place to go.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (80659)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
1 Dec
I feel bad for the guy and I hope they can get the help they need before anything bad happens,
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38590)
•
2 Dec
Yes, I hope the kids step up and do something quickly to help them.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87855)
• Bangalore, India
1 Dec
Getting old is definitely not fun. Living with such condition is challenging for the loved ones too. Happy that he got back home safe and sound. I hope that they find a good caregiver soon.. it is tough to manage, especially with such old age.
1 person likes this
