Christmas is almost over.

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This old codger has, with effort, contrived to suppress his more atrabilious tendencies while a house guess of his daughter and her family - a true Christmas miracle. I’m dizzy from seeing so much movement of the TV that’s the size of a wall. It took me a while to realise that the cat at the bottom of the screen was a real cat sitting on a stool in front of the TV. When it got up and, so far as I was concerned, it walked out of the TV screen. Freaky. And I solved a mystery. I couldn’t figure out why my daughter sent her husband and son out into the garden every so often. I thought maybe “going into the garden” was a euphemism for having a smoke but the son is only 8. Eventually it dawned on me that they were being sent out to expel wind rather than make the house whiffy. Oh the joys.