How much would you tolerate
By vanny
@vandana7 (100699)
India
December 30, 2024 9:08am CST
So I have this friend, a former neighbor, who helped me quite a bit.
They don't have kids. She has worked hard like I, to reach where she is today.
So...today, she cried. One of her relatives is openly asking them to write properties to them.
I did not take anything from them, then why is it that they humiliate me like this.
She, unfortunately, cannot steer clear of the "relatives", unlike me...nor can she afford to be harsh. The married ladies syndrome as I call it. The husband wants to maintain good relationship with his kith and kin, so she cannot afford to do anything but tolerate it.
I think husbands should support the wives. If they don't, they are not nice.
So yeah...I feel quite liberated person....anybody asks me to write properties, I happily tell them, trust is created...they have no chance what so ever.
Or if they keep throwing their kids at me, ..your kids are ugly....and yes, I do have vulgar language...being good with bad folks is not mandatory.
Not a good way to tackle such things...and its taken me a long time to stand up for me. Agreed not the best way, but hey...lot of brewing went in there..LOL
So....this friend...I don't know how to save her...from the "evil relatives"....she is too old to dump her husband...and too traditional too.
Sometimes, I feel happy at my "unmarried" and "childless" status.........because it allows me so much...sad...that I am happy about me through her misery.
7 people like this
8 responses
@much2say (56444)
• Los Angeles, California
30 Dec
I have friends who say the same as you. My friend's husband even said he felt fortunate to be an "only child" - that he has no siblings - no jealousy issues or having to argue about a difference in opinion or family decisions about inheritance and such.
Depending on our situations, certain things can be "sticky" - especially with family when sometimes you feel there is nothing you can do about it. Good for you to be able to stand up for yourself, Vanny 
- though it took some doing to get to this point. But yes, I do think being in certain life situations does help one to be liberated this way.
- though it took some doing to get to this point. But yes, I do think being in certain life situations does help one to be liberated this way.1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100699)
• India
30 Dec
I am not as bottled up as she is. It must be frustrating not to be able tell such people to get lost. Nor being able to avoid them completely. She was crying, and I could do nothing except thank god for not having put me in that situation. Nasty folks..as you said sticky situation. She wanted me to move in her apartment. I had refused. It is kinda interior, and everything we need like bank, groceries, etc., are at a distance. Where I live, it is not as sophisticated as her locality. But everything is at walking distance. Moreover, most of the shopkeepers are known to me. I just have to call them, and they will deliver the stuff. I wish I can help her....
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100699)
• India
31 Dec
@much2say I think so....but I also think that my presence implies to others that there is already a candidate to whom these two will be writing their properties. In truth, I have enough for my charities. But ...when she takes me around, rather flaunts me...goes to the extent of saying I am her adopted daughter......it is with a purpose to tell others please don't bother hoping. I think that is the reason she wants me around.
1 person likes this
@much2say (56444)
• Los Angeles, California
31 Dec
@vandana7 It's tough. With family, it's not a simple thing to just ignore or tell them to buzz off - it sounds like she cannot dare do that. All you can really do is give support and lend an ear to your friend . . . is she hoping you will speak up for her if you lived closer? I would feel sorry for such a friend, but honestly could not get involved in these types of family matters. Her husband should stand up for her.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (47806)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
30 Dec
None of my relatives have asked me for money, but then, they haven't offered me any, either.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (81127)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
30 Dec
There are people who just don't care how many toes they step on as long as life is good for them and they always seem to want more.
@LindaOHio (182922)
• United States
31 Dec
I'm sorry for this situation. Family can be a real challenge. Have a good New Year's Eve.
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (2622)
• India
31 Dec
These are some of the challenges today in the society. My suggestion get a lawyer who can be trusted and perhaps female gender. Explain the situation and ask her support whenever this relative comes or makes a move. True , it is cumbersome for all these but definitely worth it. As once a person from law is involved , the opposite party would be cautious and alert .If they make any wrong move , they could be dealing with law- not something anyone would be interested. As far as husband is concerned, convince that the lawyer involvement is for the betterment of them and as per law. It may work for them. Take care!
