Down to 13 Days Now!
By Kareng
@kareng (64470)
United States
January 12, 2025 11:01pm CST
I don't think I have mentioned the fact that my oldest daughter will be getting married again...on January 25th, 2025. Only 13 days away now!
That was what my trip to the mall was all about the other day- to look for a dress! I found one that I liked and my husband liked as well. I also got a pair of boots, but not sure if I will wear them with that dress or not. It will depend on the weather I think.
This wedding was originally set for the Fall of 2025, but due to the fact that her ex filed for 50/50 custody of their daughter, they moved the date up so that her new husband will be able to file for adoption at a sooner date. That cannot be done until they have been married for a whole year.
At first they threw the date of December 28, 2024 out there for us and I was fine with that. It will only be immediate family there and a simple wedding. The kids were already out of school for the holidays and it would all be done for the New Year. That date didn't hold because her fiancee felt a little rushed so they changed the date to January 25, 2025. Now if they change it again, I will not be happy!!
We have the Church reserved, wedding rings bought, the bride has her dress and veil, we have a veil for her 6 yr. old daughter to wear for the big day, we have the something old and something blue, and her son, who is 17 has asked to walk her down the aisle.
Right now the biggest problem is the groom's mother is not committing to come down for the wedding. This is his first marriage. She has an elder dog that is having hip problems and doesn't want to leave her. The last sitter she left her with will not keep her anymore because she howled for her owner's return. I can see how that would be annoying. I suggested that she bring the dog with her.
Right now the groom is in VA to visit his mom and hopefully bring her back when he returns home. They are taking the dog to the vet for some more tests tomorrow and will decide if she needs surgery or not. The vet already quoted a price of $8,000 for surgery.
I am hoping that she changes her mind and comes back with him since this is a lifetime event for him. He will probably only have his brother there for the ceremony if his mother declines.
My question is this--What would you do if you were in his mother's shoes? Stay at home with your dog or go to your son's wedding? She could postpone the surgery for a week or two and do both in my opinion.
Photo Credit: Pixabay, Public Domain
11 people like this
10 responses
@DaddyEvil (138952)
• United States
13 Jan
I would check the dog into a kennel and it could howl all it wanted...
Uhm... your daughter and future son-in-law know that if the father doesn't want to give up custody, the new hubby can't adopt the kids, right? Unless their state is a LOT different from Missouri, then the father would have to voluntarily sign the paper relinquishing his parental rights. (If the father is in jail, he still has rights to his children. IF he's done something so bad that a judge will forcibly remove his parental rights, then the judge could assign the parental rights to your daughter's new hubby... But that doesn't happen often.)
2 people like this
@kareng (64470)
• United States
13 Jan
He does not have custody and shouldn't *get custody,* as he can't provide a decent living place for her when she is supposed to be with him for his 50%. The whole purpose of him filing is to get out of child support, but that shouldn't happen either.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (138952)
• United States
13 Jan
@kareng He doesn't have to have custody. He still has parental rights, no matter who has custody.
He won't be able to get out of child support unless he voluntarily gives up his parental rights. Your daughter realizes that if new hubby adopts her kids, then the ex won't be paying child support or anything else, right?
2 people like this
@kareng (64470)
• United States
13 Jan
@DaddyEvil My daughter and granddaughter were both under State Protective Care, which will be removed when and if he can provide documentation that all requirements have been met. So far that hasn't happened. One is to bring child support payments up to date. He is only about a year behind. Other things are also not right.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (73496)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Jan
If I thought I could, I'd bring the dog along. I wouldn't want to be that far from home and not know.
2 people like this
@kareng (64470)
• United States
13 Jan
That was my suggestion. If she can afford surgery, she can afford to bring the dog with her--even an air flight. I used to ship parrots all the time and it was just over $100 for one way. Her son was planning on driving to visit, but changed his plan to flight with all the snow. I don't think she will change her mind. I've talked to her, my daughter and of course her son.
2 people like this
@kareng (64470)
• United States
13 Jan
@kaylachan I just told my daughter this morning that they both need to realize that they can't control other people's actions. His brother is now MIA. I have a feeling that his mom not coming for Christmas was why the first date was put off.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (73496)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Jan
@kareng Sounds like the dog is just an excuse to get out of making the trip.
Congrats on the upcoming wedding.
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@snowy22315 (183626)
• United States
13 Jan
That's a tough one. I would try to schedule the surgery so UT didn't conflict.
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (109728)
• Marion, Ohio
13 Jan
I hope his mother is there. Congratulations to them
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (183946)
• United States
13 Jan
It would depend on the dog and where she would stay with the dog. If the dog is too frail to travel, I would stay with the dog. It's a complicated issue. Have a good week.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (51917)
• Canada
13 Jan
I would not miss my son's wedding day for anything in the world.
I hope that things pan out and you find out where she stands soon, as this must be awfully stressful for everyone.
I feel sorry for your son-in-law to be, he is in a tough spot, although I am sure that you and your family will happily welcome him into your family.
1 person likes this
@kareng (64470)
• United States
13 Jan
He has been very happy to have "new" family and for us to visit them as often as we can. I had no idea there was problems with his brother or his mother. The rest of the family from what I understand doesn't stay in touch much at all. His step dad passed away and his real father is another one that doesn't keep in touch. He is a very hard worker and I think he will fit right in!
1 person likes this
@kareng (64470)
• United States
13 Jan
@Juliaacv That happened at her previous marriage. The mother lived in Texas. The wedding was in Louisiana--not a bad drive, just 5 hours away. She didn't come to the wedding and claimed that she could not get off work. Yet, she is supposed to be a supervisor in her department. She works at a hospital.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51917)
• Canada
13 Jan
@kareng Our daughter-in-law's parents are divorced.
She is close with her mother, but her father, who lives in the US, she never sees him.
He didn't even come to her wedding, but I believe that is because of the situation between her parents, not a reflection on the bride or groom.
1 person likes this
