My Anxiety Journey Part 1

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I've decided to share the story of my anxiety journey. Just a warning, this might be a little triggering, but my aim is to let this out of my chest and to spread awareness. It all started when I was in college. That was my birthday when I first experienced an anxiety attack in a form of rapid heart beats, tightening of chest, and being unable to breath... I really thought that night I was having a heart attack. My dad rushed me to the hospital. They run some tests and all my vital signs were normal (thank goodness). So we went home that night without any proper diagnostic, and even though the doctors told me that I was okay, I knew and I can feel that something inside me isn't right. What happened is I got more anxious, everyday I lived in fear of the unknown. I was unable to sleep properly, almost every night I'll get rapid heart beats accompanied with dizziness and nausea, and every morning I can't even go to the bathroom because the slightest movement I do makes my heart beat fast; it was the worst. The weird thing is, whenever a family member is there, especially my dad, all the unwanted symptoms I'm feeling was gone, it's as if it never existed, but when I'm alone, it all comes back. It made me confused, mentally drained, and exhausted. Not being able to understand my own body was tormenting for me. So we considered having second opinion, and there I was diagnosed with severe anxiety. My world seemed to crash that day, because I was clouded with questions, why? what happened? All I know was I'm a jolly, positive, and outgoing person... it made me feel more depressed. After some counselling, I realized I was not genuinely happy, I realized I was always been covering my agonies, the pressure from family and society with a smile, and doing that in a prolonged time made a toll to my mental and physical health. So whenever you encounter people who are experiencing this, please do understand them, they're not seeking attention, they need help, they need acceptance, because they can't even understand their selves.