Are you civil when you run into people who have done you wrong?

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

31 Jan

I might just avoid her if I saw her out in public.

4 people like this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

31 Jan

@just4him We'll see if I can pull it off.

1 person likes this

Valerie J. Routhieaux

@just4him (318922)

• Green Bay, Wisconsin

31 Jan

@TheHorse Good idea.

2 people like this

Rimps

@Rimps85 (2151)

• India

31 Jan

the best is to avoid them....and let bygones be bygones

3 people like this

vanny

@vandana7 (101028)

• India

31 Jan

It depends upon the extent of damage and the time gone by since then. I do have some regrets. One of my old househelps turned up at my place unannounced. I guess, she badly needed some money. But as things stood, I had been lazy and did not go to bank. So I too had no money on me, and it turned out to be SUNDAY. I have played the scenario several times in my mind. I could have borrowed from one of the neighbors, and given her some, even though she did not ask. Why it did not strike me then? In some ways, not having given her some money that day pinches as if I owed her, even though there are no basic dues. I do not know where she lives. I have never seen her since. Her husband was quite abusive.

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

31 Jan

Yes. I try to avoid them if I can.

3 people like this

Amber

@AmbiePam (95631)

• United States

31 Jan

Yes, but probably because my parents imprinted “nice” on me. You can’t be a good pastor’s daughter if you can’t be nice in every situation. Not that I didn’t struggle!

2 people like this

Amber

@AmbiePam (95631)

• United States

23h

@vandana7 Oh, I’ll talk about it if someone wants to. I’ll just do it in a nice way if it kills me. Quite honestly, I have the most trouble being nice when the offender is a man. When it’s a woman I don’t have to try too hard to be nice about it, I just am.

2 people like this

coolimrose

@coolimrose (610)

• New Zealand

13h

@vandana7 Don't blame human life. Parents bring up the kids with limited understanding. Most parents tell us to ignore and move on. Often parents don't stand up for themselves and take nonsense from everyone. Kids learn what they see not what they are taught and the vicious cycle carries on

2 people like this

@vandana7 (101028)

• India

23h

Oh god...that is not nice...LOL Isn't that a form of lying.....if you are hurt, and the hurt is valid, why must you hide it? I hate human life. Dogs are so happy...give food, play go your way...

2 people like this

BarBaraPrz

@BarBaraPrz (48296)

• St. Catharines, Ontario

31 Jan

I don't know because I can't say it's happened to me... I'm sure some have done me wrong but I don't run into them again.

3 people like this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

31 Jan

I try to avoid interactions with such people. But it's not always possible.

4 people like this

@DaddyEvil (139941)

• United States

31 Jan

It depends on what they've done and how I felt about them before we had a problem. If it was a good friend, then yes, I'm civil but usually not friendly towards them. If it was someone I wasn't friends with before the problem, I usually ignore them.

2 people like this

vanny

@vandana7 (101028)

• India

23h

How do you differentiate between being civil and being friendly. I would think that the lady who owes Pony will be avoiding him. This nasty guy has the guts to meet Pony again after stealing from him. I would definitely try to raise the topic so that he knows and realizes how it felt and that he has no friend in me.

1 person likes this

@DaddyEvil (139941)

• United States

31 Jan

@TheHorse Yup, me too.

2 people like this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

31 Jan

It hurts the most (to me) when a "friend" burns you.

1 person likes this

Angie

@andriaperry (117906)

• Anniston, Alabama

31 Jan

Yes, I act like I don't even know them.

3 people like this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

31 Jan

I would probably do that if I saw the African lady who owes me money.

2 people like this

pumpkinjam

@pumpkinjam (8846)

• United Kingdom

13h

I am civil to people if they're civil to me. If I thought I couldn't be, I'd probably just avoid them! I like to think I'm a decent person so I wouldn't be anything other than civil, even with people I'd really like to bury alive.

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

"Bury alive" made me laugh. I have a flame thrower. But only in my fantasy life.

1 person likes this

snowy

@snowy22315 (184376)

• United States

31 Jan

I try to avoid them. Why don't you sue the lady?

2 people like this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

31 Jan

I suppose I could take her to small claims court. But it sounds like a lot of work.

2 people like this

much2say

@much2say (56870)

• Los Angeles, California

31 Jan

It's funny you mention this. Just the other day I was telling Hubby that if I ever see our kids' first tae kwon do master ever again, I am going to let him have it (and this is normally not in my nature). He took money and abandoned the studio . . . he lied to all the kids and their parents

. Oh I am civil . . . but these days I will blow my top if I really need to

1 person likes this

much2say

@much2say (56870)

• Los Angeles, California

20h

@TheHorse Yes, it was LOW. In the end, he was no master. The African lady is a swindler for sure too. If only there were a way to report those kinds of people to the authorities. But you and I most likely won't do that . . . maybe we are believers in karma . . . one day they will get theirs

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

20h

@much2say No, I tried. Children's lives are in danger. But I failed.

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

31 Jan

That's pretty low. I suppose what that African lady is doing is pretty low too. She under-staffs her facility, takes State money for her daycare but does not spend it on toys, neglects the kids there, feeds them garbage (microwave chicken dinosaurs), and doesn't pay her workers. She has used her earnings to buy a house. Can you tell I am a bit miffed that nobody does anything about it?

2 people like this

Tina Dalasinski

@Tina30219 (82335)

• Onaway, Michigan

31 Jan

Yeah the one person that done me wrong is my ex-husband and I am civil to him for my kids . I don’t have to worry about seeing him though because he lives in another state.

2 people like this

coolimrose

@coolimrose (610)

• New Zealand

13h

you are very lucky

Tina Dalasinski

@Tina30219 (82335)

• Onaway, Michigan

@coolimrose Yes and I am glad I do not have to see him

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

I hope he is not damaging to the kids

luisadannointed

@luisadannointed (7027)

• Philippines

It depends. But sometimes it is so irritating to bump to people who thinks they done you nothing wrong. But I try to forgive for my own peace, and it says also to always forgive right away. But if he is civil I try to be civil... it is not also worth to stay hurt or have grudges it will always makes us ugly and older... hehehe I don't want to look old for someone who hurt me... I rather kill them with kindness.

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

I just don't want my kindness to be mistaken for weakness. I see it as a paradox for Christians. I will turn the other cheek. But for how long?

1 person likes this

luisadannointed

@luisadannointed (7027)

• Philippines

@TheHorse you will never be the weaklink when you show kindness and give forgiveness... though it is not easy, see, it takes courage to show all of them, while those idiots who hurts us will remain weak while hiding beneath their pride and lies they feed their minds to make them feel good and believe that they are not a bully and what they did is right... see they are the weaklink forever.

ultraman cosmos

@id_peace (14382)

• Singapore

10h

I used to be very revengeful and wanted justice to be implemented. But what is next? I just give up on this.

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

I like to see justice served. But justice is not blind, and I am aware of that.

Shiva

@Shiva49 (26877)

• Singapore

I try to avoid them and, if I fail in that, I try to break free at the first opportunity. They are a blot on decent human interaction. They cast a pall of gloom by their mere presence.

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

I agree. With everything you said.

1 person likes this

Gayle Harrelson

@2ndchances24 (9777)

• Cloverdale, Indiana

31 Jan

When it comes to $ I have no heart or reason to have anything to do with them, I don't think it's right for people to use a FRIEND that way & not have the decency to pay back what they owe.

2 people like this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

31 Jan

I do not consider her to be a friend. I was just helping someone out who was new to the US, had a developmentally delayed son, and was trying to get started here. Christian duty, and all that.

2 people like this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

31 Jan

@2ndchances24 Heh. I do not believe in the adage, "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished." But it makes me a bit cynical when things like this happen.

1 person likes this

Gayle Harrelson

@2ndchances24 (9777)

• Cloverdale, Indiana

31 Jan

@TheHorse

well being you said that, I congratulate your thoughtfulness in giving her the help she needed, thank you.

1 person likes this

Heather Echola

@GardenGerty (161858)

• United States

19h

I like to think I would be. For the most part I have been, but I would be tempted to turn my back, walk away, pretend I have no idea who they are. I am pretty non confrontational.

coolimrose

@coolimrose (610)

• New Zealand

13h

I think in every situation life gives us choice go do good of stop being good. I often end up being nice even to those who has wronged me. Forget outsider my own family has wronged me at every step of my like. Maybe they felt they were going good toward me, but I know how I have suffered. I admit, I am an extremely meek person and people take me for granted. I know when that person trying to swindle me, yet I seldom stand up for myself. I constantly try to avoid conflict. It scares me to think that I will upset them they will leave me. I have learned in psychology and at my therapy sessions, this behaviour depicts s faun. It has to do with how your parents have brought up and how the child dealt with issues then. I would love to ignore and cut them all from my life but I'm just too much seeped in my comfort zone to actually bring a change in my life .

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

Interesting. Yes, psychologists call it "abandonment issues." Many of us have them in some degree. "I must be nice, and conciliatory, lest I be left behind."

vanny

@vandana7 (101028)

• India

23h

I usually avoid them. Of late, I have noticed that god seems to be punishing them for some reason, and punishing them badly. More so, when they try to contact us when we don't want to be contacted. The evil relatives are being kept away from me, with such calamities. I know I shouldn't be feeling happy about it. But I am.

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (222292)

• Walnut Creek, California

I understand. We're all entitled to a little Schadenfreude now and again.

1 person likes this

Four Walls

@FourWalls (70698)

• United States

21h

I definitely try. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says “love keeps no record of wrongs.”

Judy Evans

@JudyEv (344799)

• Rockingham, Australia

20h

That's a bit rough abou the African lady. It's good you're not involved there any more. I think the Guitar Centre is a pretty good fit although I know you were good with all the little kids.

1 person likes this