How to deal with a grumpy coworker who is highly skilled?
By Anish Asokan
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
India
February 4, 2025 11:04am CST
I have a coworker senior to me but then grumpy most of the times. He is highly skilled. I have seen few times when he has been outspoken and not exactly friendly. He has been friendly to me most times, but then slightly been grumpy as well. He has not been disruptive at office. Guess he likes to be left alone.
I have felt some have been avoiding his presence and some like to be around him. I have been maintaining a calm demeanor while interacting with him. I do not use any humour and are very choosy with my words with him. I keep the professional boundaries with him.
Although I am not looking to have a deep relationship with him , not sure if there are better ways to deal with him. Any suggestions?
12 people like this
12 responses
@allknowing (140099)
• India
4 Feb
He must be a loner and it is best that he is left alone
3 people like this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
It is possible. I do not have details of his personal life , neither I bothered to check. I leave that part of life of his from my reach and well respect the boundaries set.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (16608)
• Raurkela, India
5 Feb
My elder son is like that only that he is polite not grumpy. He doesn't like being disturbed when he is working. His colleagues who are of the exploiting type and make base comments are often the victim of his anger.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (16608)
• Raurkela, India
6 Feb
@RevivedWarrior He wants his colleagues to be honest and sincere as him which is not possible in a office. There are cheats.
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
Well, I understand people who are introverts , people who are focussed on work etc. This person's grumpiness could be on things which affects him and not others and even on things not caused by people in his vicinity. From you description , your son is not grumpy , he is polite perhaps strict.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (184726)
• United States
4 Feb
What is your reason for wanting to change it? It seems as it is working the way it is.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (184726)
• United States
5 Feb
@RevivedWarrior If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
I was only looking if there are ways to improve or validating if my approach was fine. I have no reason to change that or make him a friend , atleast for now.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (74448)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
4 Feb
You're doing everything right. Some people are just not good with other people or have something going on in their personal lives. Just continue to do your best to remain calm and professional around him. That's all that can be expected.
2 people like this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
I guess that would be the best approach. Keep things minimal and professional with him and everything should be fine.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (74448)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
5 Feb
@RevivedWarrior You don't have to like or even be friends with co-workers, but you can be the bigger person and be civil. It keeps a healthy work place in general.
@sjvg1976 (41445)
• Delhi, India
5 Feb
@RevivedWarrior we cannot . We have to face him because he is a boss.
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
Well,atleast he is not my boss. And when you have to deal with unpredictable behaviour from people , then it is best you stay as far as away from the person.
1 person likes this
@somewitch (1861)
•
4 Feb
You're asking the right person.
I've been kind of grumpy lately and it felt like you were describing me! 
Thankfully it doesn't show when I post on myLot, or maybe I just happen to be in a better mood when I'm here, but sadly my grumpiness affects those who are physically around me. 
While that isn't my personality but a temporary thing - at least I hope so - I'm totally okay with being left alone or keeping interactions to the bare minimum. That's what I want, actually. So I'd suggest what others suggested as well, but for a different reason: stay away, as much as possible!
Thankfully it doesn't show when I post on myLot, or maybe I just happen to be in a better mood when I'm here, but sadly my grumpiness affects those who are physically around me.
While that isn't my personality but a temporary thing - at least I hope so - I'm totally okay with being left alone or keeping interactions to the bare minimum. That's what I want, actually. So I'd suggest what others suggested as well, but for a different reason: stay away, as much as possible! 1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
This is a different person .I have never felt you grumpy , atleast in our interactions.
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
6 Feb
@somewitch You never were and you never are! I like you based on our interactions. Pretty sure there are others as well!
1 person likes this
@somewitch (1861)
•
6 Feb
@RevivedWarrior I'm relieved I don't appear grumpy here, thanks! 
1 person likes this
@kareng (66484)
• United States
5 Feb
@RevivedWarrior Sounds good! That is what I would do!
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
Well, there is that unseen boundaries and well we tend to respect them as we do not normally want to deal with grumpiness. And yes I am keeping the things professionally with him.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (140499)
• United States
4 Feb
Like others in your office, I'd avoid him as much as physically possible. I don't like being around grumpy people.
I'm sorry you're dealing with that. It's a disruption in the work environment and, in the US, if enough co-workers complain, no matter how skilled he is, he could get fired for his attitude.
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
Well, physically I stay way out of his reach. He stays with his team and does not normally go to other cubicles or places. I keep the interaction to bare minimum and just speak when needed.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (140499)
• United States
5 Feb
@RevivedWarrior If that's the best you can do, then it's the best you can do.
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
Well , I too like to keep a professional relationship with them and not takethe relation to a personal. Thanks for the advice.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (35991)
•
25m
People have different personalities. As long as this co-worker is not disrespectful towards you be respectful and professional. Not everyone has a cheery disposition.
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
Since he is in office , I cannot ignore him all the time. Besides that would make me the grumpy one! I speak to him whenever needed and keep the interactions to a bare minimum.
@grenery8 (12664)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
4 Feb
avoid him as much as you can and i think you keep doing what you're doing. you need more positive energy. this always reminds me of dr. house series. someone can be a genius but if he's grumpy or rude, what's the point if you're all alone. 
1 person likes this
@RevivedWarrior (3239)
• India
5 Feb
Well, I am keeping the interactions to bare minimum and speaks only if needed. When you are dealing with someone who is unpredictable and not so friendly , it is better to be cautious.
1 person likes this
