Can't Say No
By lilacskies
@lilacskies (1279)
United States
February 11, 2025 2:42pm CST
I'm a yes woman when it comes to my sister-in-law, my brother's wife. She came over to check up on me after she heard from my parents that I came back from my doctor's appointment. I told her I have pleurisy and she told me that she wants me to hang out with her today so I don't "mope around" at home by myself. I am dealing with some chronic pain today on top of other health problems, but if there is one person I can't say no to, it's her.
I can't say no to her because she doesn't take no for an answer. She is very demanding, bossy, entitled, and mean. I've witnessed how people get on her bad side and she becomes super vindictive and takes revenge on anyone who doesn't obey her. I'm honestly very scared of her and once I become financially independent and move out, she will be one of the first people I will cut off from my life for good.
Anyway, I am stuck hanging out with her today because despite the fact that I told her I have pleurisy and am feeling sick today, she won't take no for an answer at all. I will just be her personal doormat she can walk all over as usual while I maintain my best poker face. I don't know how I'm going to go through today. I don't have work, so I'm stuck in this sticky situation.
Sure, I could say no, thank you. I can't hang out. I'm tired and need rest. Then, what? She will destroy my life because she is a textbook narcissist who is vindictive towards anyone who says no. She is the Queen Bee in our family and yes, I am deathly afraid of her.
I hope you have a better Tuesday than me!
7 people like this
7 responses
@kareng (67124)
• United States
15h
Oh my! This sounds like a horrible situation. I hope you can manage to get away from there. Is there any affordable housing that you can apply for?
I agree with other comment below also, counseling in a Church does not cost a fee. You would also get a lot of support there.
You can vent all you want here. There are some very nice and caring people here and we will listen and try to offer advice to you.
Big hugs!! 
2 people like this
@kareng (67124)
• United States
10h
@lilacskies I would try again. You may qualify now!
You are very welcome! I think we all vent here now and then!
Thanks for the hugs.
2 people like this
@lilacskies (1279)
• United States
15h
Thank you. Me too. I tried that in the past, but I never qualified so I had to drop that. I will check out free counseling. I didn't know about that until now. Thank you so much! I really need a safe place to vent and I really appreciate this community bearing with me. I share a lot of things about my life. I hope you all don't mind. Big hugs back!
@lilacskies (1279)
• United States
10h
@kareng I am focusing on passing my upcoming interview for a full-time job I applied for last month, but didn't hear back from until last Monday. It'll be in three weeks so I'm putting all my energy into that. I can move out with a full-ttime job. I vent too much perhaps. Lol! No problem!
1 person likes this
@marguicha (224888)
• Chile
16h
I´m sorry for you. I had pneumonia just before Christmas and was at the hospital 2 days. I was supposed to go to Dixie´s at Christmas Eve and had my own room and bed there. Yet I decided to stay home alone. And the same happened during New Year. There are moments when the best place to stay is at home. If I had such a member of the family, I´d block her for some time.
2 people like this
@kareng (67124)
• United States
15h
@lilacskies I bet she doesn't have any friends and enjoys making other (like yourself) miserable. That is so sad!
2 people like this
@lilacskies (1279)
• United States
15h
@kareng I've never seen her with any true friends. She occasionally hangs out with her kids' friends' moms, but that's about it. I don't have any friends myself so she chooses me to harass. I am quite miserable and exhausted today. If that was her aim which I have a feeling it was, it worked. She succeeded.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (224888)
• Chile
14h
@lilacskies PLEASE!!! Think of you first!!! You don´t have to SAY anything. That is, just say that your doctor told you that you MUST stay at home in your bed. And thank her very much for being so nice. She´ll love that.
1 person likes this
@rakski (131488)
• Philippines
14h
@lilacskies lucky her, she can use her idle time doing something useful. Hope you get the rest you need
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (1279)
• United States
15h
I just got back home right now. I'm really exhausted. She depleted the remaining energy I had today so now I need to crawl into bed and just rest. She doesn't work. She is a housewife. She is waiting for her kids to come home after their extracurricular activities and my brother is out doing his work. Me too. I'm exhausted.
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (1279)
• United States
14h
@rakski Yes, I've never seen her work in all the years I've known her. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (82332)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15h
I hope you survived the day and she has gone away, I don't see any reason why you could not just say you need your rest and you would like to be alone to your family, Virtual hugs and many blessings to you,
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (45307)
• Staten Island, New York
15h
I’m sorry you’re going through that. Can’t choose your family unfortunately.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (45307)
• Staten Island, New York
14h
@lilacskies Generally speaking, I guess when you choose to find someone you eventually marry, you can opt out if you can’t get along with that person’s family or you don’t like them for whatever reason. But otherwise you’re stuck.
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (1279)
• United States
14h
@lovebuglena Yes, that's right. My ex-husband was an orphan with no family of his own so I didn't meet anyone from his side. As for my sister-in-law, she is my brother's wife and lives next door my parents' house where I live.
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (106337)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
14h
I am working on enjoying my Tuesday afternoon working at home. Sorry to learn that your sister-in-law do not get along.
2 people like this
@SIDIKIMPOLE (1814)
• Eldoret, Kenya
6h
It's good you are tolerant, and can at least understand her as she is. Otherwise you would get yourself into a great deal of trouble
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (1279)
• United States
6h
Yes, I only have one life. I can't have it destroyed by a narcissist just because I decided to be brave for once. Bravery can sometimes become stupidity if you try it on the wrong person. I have to be extra careful around narcissists, One wrong move and I am done for. And for what? Because I said no to her? I don't want to face her wrath. I have enough on my plate, so I just tolerate her and await the day I can quietly and peacefully cut her out of my life by moving far away from her.
