Trust Your Gut Instincts
By lilacskies
@lilacskies (4560)
United States
February 12, 2025 4:29pm CST
When I was younger, I ignored my gut instincts and let toxic people into my life. I would regret it after suffering everything went down because I let them into my life. However, that was back then. Now, unless I have no choice due to close proximity, I do not let toxic people into my life. I pay attention to the red flags and am extra careful. If there is any sign of toxicity from someone after I let that person into my life because that person acted like a good person and it worked on me, I cut them off.
I am not talking about friends. I don't have any friends. I didn't even have any at school growing up because I'm an introvert who enjoys my alone time. I prefer being alone than with other people, and have always felt more lonely in a group setting than alone.
I'm talking about people like colleagues I would meet at work and acquaintances I would meet through my family. I keep such people at arm's length as it is, but if they want to grab a meal together, I do accept if they are nice people. However, if they show signs of toxicity before we spend time together and even afterwards, I go back to keeping them at arms length until I can gradually cut them off without any confrontation.
Think of it this way. We all have one life. We don't get to redo our lives. There are no second chances. This is all we have, so we have to live it well. How? By being careful. When you are careful with your life, you get to enjoy your life. You can't enjoy your life if you are in a toxic relationship that is sucking the life out of you.
This is my advice: trust your gut instincts. Pay attention to red flags and the vibes people give off. Pay attention to how you feel around these people. And cut off anyone who makes you feel bad in any given situation, but do not confront them, do not tell them, and do not do it boldly. Cut off toxic people quietly and peacefully, and keep moving forward without looking back.
I only shared this today because it's something I've spent most of my adulthood abiding by, and it could help someone on here.
6 people like this
5 responses
@grenery8 (13526)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Feb
you are so right; if we cut off toxic people quietly, even they get shocked of that approach. i raised my voice many times and it didn't do a thing. 2 days ago, a toxic person called me but i just hang up the phone. quitly and i felt good about myself. i also wish i could go back in time and tell myself not to rely on those people but i was a weak fool, hoping they will change or see my sacrifice. nothing worked; i was more and more unhappy and they remained the same. i don't have friends as well. was timid and shy in high school and in university and everyone either betrayed me and i realised they were toxic people with angel's face, the worst kind. i'm alone but, as you said it, it's easier to breathe this life.
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (13526)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Feb
@lilacskies i agree with you. peace is precious and we deserve it. i'm sometimes tired of people being so extrovert and loud, like that's a good trait; not always, i think. 5 years is a lot and that SIL has no life, i see. fingers crossed bad people in your life will give up one day
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (4560)
• United States
13 Feb
That's right. We can literally get assaulted or killed for confronting these people and having it out with them. We don't want that obviously, so what can we do? Simple. We cut them off quietly and move on without telling them. That is key. You do not confront them because that is extremely dangerous. You have only one life. Live it carefully. I know what you mean. My ex-husband abused me for five years. I have had toxic encounters with various other people in my life. I now have complex PTSD due to prolonged narcissistic abuse and psychological trauma. Also, I currently have to face off with my sister-in-law who lives next door regularly so there's that. I never had friends in school because my classmates ostracized me for being an introvert. They thought I was weird for being so quiet and preferring to be alone. I liked being alone. I still do. I refuse to let someone into my life and then have it turned upside down again. I simply want peace and quiet. We only have one life. Let's try to live it well.
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (4560)
• United States
17 Feb
@grenery8 I know. Me too. My ex-husband is an extrovert and extremely loud. He is here visiting my parents today and he is so loud. I can hear him from my bedroom just going on and on about his life. He loves talking. I've never met someone who loves to talk so much. Yes, and it's ongoing. My sister-in-law is a textbook narcissist while my ex-husband is a malignant narcissist. They are both dangerous and need to be cut off as soon as possible. That is my ultimate goal in life since I want to live the rest of my life in peace and quiet. Thank you so much.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (92068)
• United States
12 Feb
I think this is great advice. One thing I'd add is that some are so charming, and never show you their real nature til its too late, no matter how much instinct you have. It is best to be so cautious you are right.
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (4560)
• United States
12 Feb
Thank you. I wanted to share this today because it really could help someone on here. Who knows? You are so right. There are lots of fake charming people out there. They have an ulterior motive and once you fall into their trap, well, it's too late. Always be careful about who you are letting into your life. You only have one life. That's it. I don't care if people call this cowardice or whatever they want to call it. It is stupid to be brave with the wrong people. Be careful and do things quietly. Cut toxic people out quietly. That is key. Do not ever confront. You will suffer more than you can ever imagine if you confront. This is what I live by and will always live by.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (92068)
• United States
13 Feb
@lilacskies That my girl is the truest words..I agree, never show your cards to them. Get away without fuss and danger.
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (4560)
• United States
13 Feb
@RebeccasFarm Absolutely. Some people on here told me to confront them, but I explained to them that it is very dangerous to do so. They can assault you or worse. Just quietly get away from them. Never tell them you are getting away. Advice like this can save people's lives. We only live once. We have to be careful.
1 person likes this
@kareng (68255)
• United States
14 Feb
@lilacskies Right! Sounds like a good thing to do!!
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (4560)
• United States
13 Feb
Thank you. Absolutely. Nobody. I take my own advice, but I need to work on cutting off my toxic ex-husband and sister-in-law for good. It's the close proximity that is doing me a number.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (75137)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Feb
I agree with you about trusting your gut, but I know a lot of interverts, myself included who are married, and have meaningful relationships. Just because you choose to see the people you're around as distant at best, that's something you need to work through.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (75137)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Feb
@lilacskies I find that hard to believe. Because you are online socializing with people, forming relationships and bonds. Weather you want to think otherwise or not.
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (4560)
• United States
13 Feb
I like being alone as an introvert. I don't need any relationships to be honest. I'm perfectly okay on that front. I just need to cut off the narcissists in my life and just live a quiet and peaceful life. That's all.
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (4560)
• United States
13 Feb
@kaylachan Oh, I meant face to face. I'm okay with online because I have no problems with that. I just don't want to meet people in a face to face setting.
@Deepizzaguy (106761)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
12 Feb
Thank you for the kind advice since you have been there and done that.
1 person likes this
@lilacskies (4560)
• United States
13 Feb
You are welcome. Yes, speaking from experience.
1 person likes this
