Molly says no.

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Many people have heard of the legendary Molly Malone who, according to the song, “wheeled her wheel barrow through streets broad and narrow crying cockles and mussels alive alive o”. The streets were the streets of Dublin, and 37 years ago the city fathers erected a statue of her, to titillate tourists, and she is a fixture on the must-see list of things for foreigners to look at. Alas and alack, too many tourists have been over-titillated and have been taking liberties with poor Molly. So many wandering hands have groped her ample bosom that her breasts have become discoloured and she’ll need some cosmetic attention. The solution? Stewards are going to stand guard to say “No” on Molly’s behalf since she can’t speak for herself. This information was published today, not yesterday which was April Fool’s day, so it’s true. And sad.