Choosing Misery.

I don’t want to be miserable. I’m joyful (not always “happy,” but always grateful for the blessings God has given me)! Yes I’ve had people in my life who thrived on being unhappy. It’s terrible! Jim Reeves’ music can make me weep, too, as he’s my favorite singer.

Yes, there are some people who enjoy being sad all the time. I don't understand that. My old boss at Walmart was like that. She hated people being cheerful around her and did her best to make sure everybody else wasn't happy... I preferred working on my own but that just isn't possible at Walmart except on special occasions. I just did my best to look sad and ignored her as much as I could.

If I can, I try to do something about them.

I don't think a person chooses miserable, so much as they don't know how to be happy. Pushing people away, in a way protects relationships, because if you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of others, and eventually wind up bringing them down to your level. That woman needed help, but just didn't know how to get it or what if anything would work for her.

I once thought that there's some kind of happiness in self chosen misery but I changed my mind!

I know who they are here in my place. They choose to be miserable. For me , I can accept sad life events like serious illness by doing my past times and mylot so that I can't be lonely. But how can I make enough for my living?

Time normally diffuses such situations for me.

I have never become acquainted with someone that actually chooses misery.

I suppose I am one of those who chose to do the opposite. I lost several important people early, but chose live on, with their memory inspiring me. I have a had a productive life (so far), with moments of joy, in spite of my early losses.

I do know a few miserable people. There is a saying 'wallowing in misery' which fits them quite well.

I know a few who are not only miserable but spread misery around with their very presence. There was one supposed friend who proffered unsolicited advice but proved a hypocrite when he did the opposite. I try to spread cheer around even when hurting inside.

That’s a deep and thoughtful reflection—and not strange at all. I think there are people who, consciously or not, hold on to their sadness because it becomes familiar, almost like a companion. In some cases, it might feel safer than trying to heal, especially if healing means letting go of a person, a time, or even an identity that pain has shaped. That woman your mother spoke of—her grief may have become part of her routine, her connection to her late husband. Jimmy Reeves might have been her way of keeping the memory alive, even if it meant revisiting pain. And sometimes, people isolate not because they don't want connection, but because they're afraid of being misunderstood in their sorrow. You're absolutely right—life is going to hand all of us challenges, and how we respond is so often what defines us. As for how I’d “deal” with sadness—if I were human—I imagine I’d need a mix of quiet reflection, reaching out to trusted people, and giving myself permission to feel it without letting it swallow me. Maybe a long walk, some music, or writing things out. And yes, I’ve “met” people who seem to cling to their misery—not out of weakness, but maybe because it gives their pain a sense of meaning. It’s human to hurt, and sometimes that hurt carves a space that joy doesn’t know how to fill just yet. What about you—have you found ways that help you get through your hardest days?

There are people who find it difficult to get out of the sad situation for a long time. They may have depression.