My son...

A 2 and a half year old doesn't know if he wants his father or not. It sounds like the 'dad' only wants to be a dad when he can find the time for it, that's really sad.

This is just proof that any man can make a baby but its the real men who are "FATHERS" I think at 2 1/2 years old your son doesnt really know if he wants his father or not. At such a young age he may say that, but it's probably fear of not knowing him. I believe that you do need to allow him to visit your son and give your son the chance to get to know him. You dont want him to grow up later and say you didnt give him the chance. Let your son decide, once he is older of course. I dont think at this age he truly knows. If you say his father really hasnt been around then he just doesnt know him. As much as it may suck hun, do you best to try. For your son. IF by chance it works out ok then think how great it would be for your son!

I would go with what he wants. Let him make the decision about wheather he wants to meet him or not.

i think he is too young.

You should encourage a relationship between your son and his father.The visits should probably be supervised at first until you son is comfortable and it will show u how seriuos your ex is about seeing his son. A 2 year old has no idea what they want.

Are you sure you haven't said anything negative abou his father in front of him? Kids usually make a decision like this when they get older. What you should do is let your child's father know that you will not allow him to leave and keep popping back up in your child's life. Set limits. Give him a schedule. Maybe tell him he can see his child two days/ week and let him pick those days. If he misses one week out of a month thats fine. If he misses more than that discuss the reason why he has not been around and give him a chance to redeem himself if its for a good reason. If not, give him the boot.

remaster74, I agree with some of the others here. At 2 1/2 years old your son can't make this decision. From your post it sounds like you harbor some ill will towards your son's father, and that I can understand. However I hope you are a strong enough person to know that to deny your son and his father from creating a relationship would be a shame, and in the long run it could be bed for your boy. If the father is of no harm to the child and his intentions are indeed to create a healthy relationship with his son, it is in your best interest to allow this.

I think it's important for a son to have a father too, but only a good one. Father figures are the main influence for boys, just as mothers are the main influence for girls. Having a bad influence is much worse than no influence at all. Follow your gut if you think his dad shouldn't be around. Maybe someday you can find him a new dad that you can be proud to have around your son. You know what's best, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Hi remaster, I have been in a similar situation where my children's father moved to another state when he left, but said when he left, "I will see the kids more this way" well that did not happen, out of mind out of sight! But they have still respect for their Dad, as I did all I could to make this so, even through a lot of rubbish. Your son may be a bit too young at the moment to make this choice, and I must say if my children's Dad had of wanted more of a part in their lives I would have let it. My own childhood went through the same thing only it was my Mother who left when I was 3, and I know the effect that has had on me! Good luck!

I agree with you there Let the little Man decide himself do not force him I don't care what anyone says Children are a lot brighter then what People will give them Credit You do what you think is right and I agree it is right to respect your Childs Wish No matter what anyone says, he might only be 2 1/2 but he is a Person who is entitled to have his say

It seems to me that it is more this child doesn't want to have a stranger forced upon him...and that makes sense to me... This father who hasn't been a father can't expect this child to suddenly love and respect him. Children are pretty preceptive when it comes to who cares about them and who doesn't... I do think that maybe the boy and the man should have the opportunity to get to know each other, and for the man to prove he is ready to do what is 'right' by the boy. It appears your son isn't going to just accept this man into his life, he is going to make this guy work for it... Let the guy show you what he intends in more than words and see what he shows your son. Kids can be pretty smart sometimes.

I wouldn't let the man to be the father of my son after disappearing for such a long time, it's very irresponsible.

i also grew up without a father figure, but i knew my father exists. My last visit was i think 8 years ago. The point is, the boy has the right to know his father, even if he thinks he doesn't want to...he's too young to decide for now. As a parent, we can decide for our child's sake. Have a nice day!

I can identify with your situation. My son was almost 6 when he met his father for the first time. You could tell it filled a void in his life finally meeting him. However, he only saw him one other time after that. My son is now in his sophomore year of college. He is a great kid despite his father's absense in his life and I know he will do great! I don't want to discourage you from letting your son see his father but I would make sure he has the intention of being an ever-present positive influence in your son's life. After all, your son's future is what is most important!

There must be some reason, for a man won't left his son

i think your son is still too young to decide it,he just need more time to stay with his father.you should find some ways to show your son the existance of his father.

I agree with you ,i think that is your son has the right to decide himself what he wants.but it can be subjected to hurt to your son.

i think you should try to give him a chance if he's sincer. i wouldn't want my child to get hurt by his father and i would limit the time they spend together since he doesn't even know him at all. do you trust the father or believe he will be there for him? its good for your son to have a father figure, but it doesn't always have to be his birth father. any man who he loves and looks up to will help him grow up nicely.

its very rediculous.how can he come again after a long back if he really love u and ur child he would have come long back .never allow those kind of persons .any way ur child is too small so there is no need to know who is his father.after he become big u can say that his father left him away

sure enough its importnant for the child to understand and get acquainted with his father, but knowing that the father is not stable and maybe he ios back for some other reason than the love for the child. so before the child gets attached with the father its better you find out the reason fro his return, also set out conditions to make sure that neither you nor your kid is hurt should this man run away once again. its wierd that he has turned up all of a sudden after a long gap