Daughter caught my wife smoking, what should I do?
By ErnestK73
@ErnestK73 (214)
United States
December 4, 2006 11:00am CST
My daughter told me this morning that she saw mommy smoking. Everyone thought her mom didn't smoke. I didn't even know she didn't. My daughter confronted my wife about it and my wife denied it all the way and got a little upset over it. I was right there in the room. I was a little too shocked to say anything before my wife walked out the door. This as been eating away at me all morning. I don't smoke nor do I want to be around people that do. I love my wife but it's crazy that's she would start smoking and keep it from me and deny it to my daughter. It's crazy. My daughter was little upset about this after my wife left for work and all my daughter said was "I hope mommy stops smoking, I don't want mommy to get sick". Now my question is, should I confront my wife about it? I'm the type of person to leave well enough alone. I really don't want to start a fight with my wife about it. I'm sure if I confront her about, she'll get upset and try to start a little fight. Anyone else had this happen to them? Please tell me what you think I should do.
1 person likes this
11 responses
@HimArticles (1137)
• India
5 Dec 06
Most of the women use smoking in today’s modern society. You have never seen your wife indulging in smoking that’s why you got upset. I am also smoker I know the harmful effect of it anyone once addicted to smoking then it is very difficult to get rid of it. I think your wife is not habitual yet she can leave it easily. Don’t make the situation tense discuss with her frankly try to understand her it demerits. Don’t involve your daughter in this matter. I think she will definitely understand you.
@ErnestK73 (214)
• United States
5 Dec 06
I know how smoking is. I smoke a long long time ago. Me and my wife both smoked and we both quit cold turkey and both promised we would never smoke again. I kept my promise but seems like she didn't. As for not getting my daughter in it, I didn't my daughter seen my wife smoking. What else is there. My daughter is 5 years old and looks up to her mommy. I'm afraid that some day this might affect her later on in life. She might think "well, mom smokes why can't I?". I'm just hoping for the best.
@tanujarneja (2829)
• India
5 Dec 06
well what all you can do is start having an eye on your wife, keep checking her purse, visti her office at rare times and so that is how you can really knwo without creating a fight as to whether your wife smokes or not....
@ErnestK73 (214)
• United States
5 Dec 06
I visit my wife when ever I can, But I will not go through her purse. It's her personal belonging and I just can't do it. Thanks for the response
@sillygirlsd (959)
• United States
5 Dec 06
You have to say something....she is basically keeping something from you...and smoking is a big thing...what's next? Your daughter saw her but you know maybe she didn't see what she thought she saw...you should bring it up as if it were a joke..and then see where your wife takes it and how she responds! Well anyway....If she decides not to give up smoking then it shouldn't be a big deal...especailly if she's smoked in the past! I know it's a bad habit but she's gonna do it if she wants to....I'd rather know if my bf smokes than him hiding it from me...and to tell you the truth you said that you don't want to be around people that smoke..does that mean that if she doesn't give it up you'll leave her because of it!?
@honest007 (793)
• India
5 Dec 06
i think u should speak to her very politely n make her understand that this will effefct their daughter...
@ErnestK73 (214)
• United States
5 Dec 06
I'm always polite to her. Maybe I'm a little too polite to her. LOL... but If you read my post above, you'll see the doctor told her she needs not to be around smokers. Thanks for your reply.
@tanujarneja (2829)
• India
4 Dec 06
Just talk with your wife about it.......ask her why she started smoking? what made her fall into this bad habbit? she might be undergoing some depression which forced her for such a bad habbit........
talk to her and if she 's doing for the sake of her addiction then tell her that she is leaving a bad impression on her daughter........she will understand
@ErnestK73 (214)
• United States
4 Dec 06
We talked a little bit and it seems like she's a little stressed out. So I told her we are going to work on her being stressed out. Thanks for your reply.
@ErnestK73 (214)
• United States
5 Dec 06
Yes, I agree and I think she did. Well, I hope she did. Thanks for the reply.
@Signal20 (2281)
• United States
4 Dec 06
She probably kept it from you because she knows how you feel about it. My advice, I'd let it go. You haven't noticed it to this point. Just going to start a pointless argument. There's nothing worse then someone lecturing/telling you what to do-especially when you know it's bad for you. And she knows it is. The fact that she lied about it just proves all that. Might just be a once in awhile thing for her as well. Good luck!
@ErnestK73 (214)
• United States
4 Dec 06
The problem is, she goes outside with her friend when her friend smokes and it gets into her clothes. When she comes home she smells like smoke and it get's into my nose and makes me all stuffy. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm confused and it's starting to hamper my work at home job today. I think I need to take the rest of the day off. Thanks for the reply.
@tanujarneja (2829)
• India
5 Dec 06
you can talk to your wife for it, as to what all your daughter said was right or not
@tanujarneja (2829)
• India
5 Dec 06
keep an eye on your wife, keep on checking her stuffs and all, could help you
@tlex107250 (667)
• United States
4 Dec 06
Just calmly confront her about her smoking, and let her know that your daughter is concerned about it. You don't have to start a fight over it, just let her know how her daughter feels about it.
@ErnestK73 (214)
• United States
4 Dec 06
That's the way we normally talk. We calmly talk about it but as of lately, she's been really touchy. Seems like if someone says something she don't like, she gets upsets. Thanks for the reply. I'm going to think about confronting her.
