Ditch gay friends because boyfriend is a homophobic?
@browneyedfatima (481)
Philippines
December 5, 2006 1:27am CST
My sister's friendship with some gays has always been an issue between her and her boyfriend. He doesn't like her going out with them and even talking to them. He even warned her that once they get married, she should stop being friends with them because he's scared that they might influence their future kids to be gay also. We think he's overreacting and being irrational. My sister cares for all of her friends, gay or straight. but she loves her boyfriend also. What should she do?
5 people like this
19 responses
@jbb316 (1779)
• United States
5 Dec 06
She needs to set him straight. First of all he should not try to run her life and tell who to and who not to be friends with. If he has an issue with the friends then maybe she could get together with her friends and hang out without him. And personally, I do not think that them being gay could influence their children. Because people who are gay say they are born that way and if that is true then they could not possibly influence the children. He should not try to make her chose between him and her friends. She should try to sit down and talk with him or maybe she should rethink the relationship.
2 people like this
@browneyedfatima (481)
• Philippines
5 Dec 06
exactly! i personally think that she should rethink their relationship because i have a feeling that her boyfriend will try to change her to suit his liking. he started already with her friends. my sister has always complained to me that her boyfriend wants her to do this or do that. anyway, she could always look for another boyfriend. there are hundreds of guys out there. but it would be hard to look for loyal friends.
1 person likes this
@browneyedfatima (481)
• Philippines
8 Jan 07
i know it's hard to imagine there are still people out there who are still narrow minded when it comes to issues such as homosexuality. sad but people can be hypocrites sometimes. they go about preaching what to do and stuff like that but they themselves are no paragon when it comes to moral values, etc.
@nichjake (523)
• United States
6 Dec 06
Ditch the boyfriend. If he's that homophobic I would want him anywhere near my future kids if I were her. True friends will be there for her forever, chances are her boyfriend will not because those kind of friends come and go, she should make it sooner rather than later.
2 people like this
@emarie (5442)
• United States
6 Dec 06
omg! for me, if you don't like my friends. you're not going to be with me. he is being irrational...gay or striaght he should never decide who she should hang out with. this is a problem because it shows how controling he is, and over time if she lets him control her, things might get worse. tell her to cut her loses unless he shapes up.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
5 Dec 06
Are you serious?? So why is she with him??? Seriously..first off these ppl are her friends and for her bf to have that attitude is shady IMO....so if she stops hangin out with these ppl will he find issues when she has new friends and want her to stop hangingwith them too? and mroe than that..what is she goin to do if later on in life one of their kids comes to them and says they are gay? I would be concerned aobut how he would react to that!..I'm sorry but I personally couldnt be with someone like that..hatred has no place in my life let alone when it comes to the ppl I care about dearly....
2 people like this
@browneyedfatima (481)
• Philippines
5 Dec 06
i told my sister to dump him already but she can be blinded by her stupid love sometimes. i met the guy already and he's super conservative and so proper. i even caught him one time frowning when my sister and i laughed so loud over something silly.
1 person likes this
@gaylordfocker615 (389)
• Philippines
6 Dec 06
She should try to talk to her boyfriend indicating that these are her friends and they are very much a part of her life. I don't think a boyfriend has the right to restrict his girlfriend to something like this. If he's like this now, think how he'll be when they're married. Maybe your sister should think twice before marrying him.
2 people like this
@Aali311 (6112)
• United States
6 Dec 06
He's her boyfriend, he should not be telling her who she can and cannot have as friends, that is wrong of him, maybe she should start telling him who to be friends with and who not to be frinds with. She needs to put her foot down because if he really loves her he would not be trying to change her in any way, he should accept her for who she is. If he doesn't then it's time to leave him. She can't be with a person who's bullying her around.
1 person likes this
@killailla (1301)
• Canada
6 Dec 06
friends are friends they need to decide which is more important, to me tuff luck for boyfirned because ny friends are important to me and if the bf's love is strong he will let it go
1 person likes this
@farocop44 (447)
• Canada
6 Dec 06
Ditch the boyfriend. You would think he would not mind if her boy-friends are gay, then he wouldnt have to worry about them hitting on her. Apparently her boyfriend is so narrow he could look through a key hole with both eyes.
2 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
6 Dec 06
I say if he doesn't change to ditch the boyfriend. If she chooses him...what is to stop her from doing other things once they get married. After he stops her from seeing her friends.
1 person likes this
@browneyedfatima (481)
• Philippines
6 Dec 06
they've known each other for line 6 months only..not long enough i think to get to know each other very well. as her big sister, it's up to me to prevent her from making the biggest mistake of her life - marrying the jerk.
@kaspyv (1011)
• United States
5 Dec 06
EDUCATE HIM!! simple as that...most homophobic people are just not educated on the subject of homosexuality. First he needs to be made aware of the fact you can't be influenced to be gay...you are born that way! Enlighten him and he will be a better man for it!
1 person likes this
@browneyedfatima (481)
• Philippines
5 Dec 06
i dont think he'll change his views toward homosexuality. i just want my sister to dump him and start looking for someone who will accept her, gay friends and all.
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
6 Dec 06
She should not be allowing him to control her life. If they are just boyfriend/girlfriend and he's is already telling her who to be friend's with, imagine what he is going to be like once they get married. I say ditch the guy, stay with the gay's.
1 person likes this
@cuddlebug79705 (2003)
• United States
6 Dec 06
She should not let him control her. She should calmly explain to him that her friends mean a great deal to her and he should not put her in a position where it is him or them. If he loves her he will accept her. Also, she should explain that you aren't influenced to be gay.
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
6 Dec 06
I WENT THREW THIS A WHILE BACK.I chose my friends..Why is he so threatened? and we all know thats Bull about the kids..its not like theer gonna say..YOU WANT A MANNNN...lol seriously....I have a son and its juts me..and hes gonan be a manly man i can see it now lol..it doesnt matter..friends are friends..theer always there for you/...there just gettin both worlds with gays and i think its great..homopphobes pis$ me off..there right uo theer with racists..tell her to leave him or tell him to go cause she wont leave her friends..
1 person likes this
@Silverchic (396)
• Australia
6 Dec 06
That's extremeley narrow minded of him! You're sister is perfectly capable of deciding who SHE wants to be friends with whether they are gay or straight. She is an adult and he is just being childish and controlling. Get your sister to tell him where the door is if he doesn't like her friends!
Hehe...he's the kinda person I can see karma coming round to bite him on the bottom by making all of his kids gay just to teach him a lesson! =)
1 person likes this
@jimbl75 (152)
• United States
6 Dec 06
Heck NO she shouldn't ditch her gay friends for him. He expects her to change her life, yet he won't open his mind to a part of the world that is there whether he likes it or not. He needs to realize that if she changes who she is in this regard for him, she could and probably will resent him someday for it. People that truly love each other don't ask each other to change, they accept who they are as they are, and if she has gay friends he needs to get over it. They need to talk this through, if he can't accept her gay friends, she needs to consider if this is who she wants to be with.
Jim
