Parents: how to handle the problem with my mother

You poor thing, I know I can't say that I fully understand because I have not gone through your exact situation. Trust me when I say that it is very close though. My mother and i have always had a rocky relationship...but I kept it going the best I could with her being my mother. She was very unsupportive when my husband and I decided to get married, and I think this is where her problems with me really started. When I decided to start trying to get pregnant we were all of a sudden best friends. I found out that it would be very difficult for me to get pregnant(a very long story that I will spare you of) and so my mom and I grew even closer because she went to all my doctor appointments with me. I finally did get pregnant, however, at nine weeks I miscarried and had to go for a d&c. My mother stuck by me through all of that. I got pregnant a second time and everything was wonderful between us until I went into labor. She just changed. I don't know what happened. She stormed out of the hospital and didn't talk to me for three months. Even had the whole family mad at me for no reason. She later claimed that my inlaws were rude to her so she left. I had many people there and they say no such thing happened. They said she just got mad that she couldn't be in the room (it was a difficult and premature birth) so she left. I called her after the three months and worked things out with her, only for her to turn around three weeks later and go all weird again. Needless to say, she went nuts on my husband and started pushing me while I was holding my baby, so I told her that she needed to leave and she hasn't talked to me since. I don't know what happens with family once a baby is born. You would think it would bring us closer...but someone's feelings always gets hurt. I am so sorry about your situation, I know it is hard. If you need someone to talk to, you can always message me. I wish you the best of luck, and don't let this interfere with you having fun with your son!! This isn't your problem...this is hers.

I too wonder about your mother's mental condition. Her responses now do not fit with the situations you discribed previously. It could be that now you have a healthy child she feels she is no longer needed by you and has projected this feeling into an anger with no foundation. I read a few weeks ago about postpartum depression affecting fathers as well as new mothers. I find myself wondering if it may extend to other family members who had been previously close. It may get rude, it may get rough, but clearing the air is the only way to discover what the actual problem is. It's harder to walk away from someone standing right there than it is to not answer a letter or to hang up the phone.

really incredible,how did your mother change so much after your delivery.i think she should be happy instead of the attitude.i think whatever her attitude is, she is still your mother,you should still treat her like before,and contact your father to find out the answer.

wow you really need to confront her and ask her what the heck her problem is. Go there and tell her that you think she is jelous because now you have your own baby and she has no one that needs her. But in reality you really do need her and she is being a selfish imbecile for removing you from her life. I'm sorry but that just aggrevates me. what mother would leave their child like that AND put their husband in the middle? good luck.

Please try not to be angry with your mom. You are angry because you are afraid. Can you or will you tell me more about what she said to you when you asked her originally. Don't confuse this with what other people said she said. Mom probably doesn't want to really tell anyone else because she is maybe ashamed and is trying to say something but it comes up short and doesn't make sense to you. Wait a while before you confront her because it won't help and may make you feel worse. I would ask God to intervene and get the ball rolling. It has worked for me every time and I am not a big bible thumping kinda girl.

I'm just 17... and already had many problems with my parents..but anything like yours... Try to talk is always the best solution.. There are many psychological diseases that can make your mom act like that... psychologists can help you.. try to convince your mom with a help of your dad to go in some sections ^^

The period you sufferred have not gone waste. Your son is so cute. I understand your feelings. If this happened to me, i would be devastated too. So I think what you should do is take her for counselling. That is go to a third party to discuss this problem. If you yourself try to talk to her, I doubt it will work. When you go to a third party, you can talk, your mom can talk plus you get a chance to listen to her point of view as well. I think it might be good. I hope by Christmas you'd be able to solve this problem and have a merry Christmas. Good Luck.

Something really does not add up here. Something really drastic had to have happened for your mother to have changed that much. Did she seem normal during the visit when she was there the day she came a week kafter your child was born? Was anyone else there that day? I am a grandmother myself and I can't imagine anything keeping me away from my grandchildren or my daughter. I would suggest going to see your mother alone. Ask to sit and visit -- just the two of you. Speak to her calmly. Do your best not to get angry. Tell her how much you miss her and tell her you really want to know what happened and why she no longer wants to have anything to do with you or your child.

i think the best way to do it is be humble! go to your mother and talk about what's happening, discuss to her what she needs to know but be open to all what she would say. accept things if she says to you that she's jealous or just missing you a lot that's why she's being like that. or what if she's just having menopausal syndromes which you just need to understand her more. good communication will lead you to the answer. goodluck!

I think you should ask her what is the root why she is so angry with you by that you will understand why she act like that or tell your father to ask your mother what is her problem against you if she cant tell you directly.

thats harsh good lcuk sweetie thats wierd tho i suggest simply talkin with ur mom bout it and dont resist make sure she lets u kno a real answer...good luck im curious to kno how this turns out

You son is adorable! Congratulations on being able to conceive. Whenever you have to struggle to try to conceive, ending the waiting period is that much more enjoyable. As for your mother, I can not explain why she is behaving the way that she is. I would have to say that she is the one with the problem. If she will not explain to you the problem, then she is being very childish. I would suggest that you write her one last letter asking for her to provide you with the reasons for her actions. Really you can not be the mother in the situation, and she has to be the one to come around. I am going through something similar with my mother, sort of. She has always favored my brother, and can only conversate at a time with one of us, which she choses to be my brother right now. I have let her know how I feel about it, and the ball is in her court to make the changes. We are the children!

It is a pretty difficult situation you are in. It seems hard for me to understand what really happened. I mean, your mother was all supportive when you lost those two children, and when she was supposed to be next to you - when you were happy - she turned upset?! Why?! I really don't get it . I can imagine what is in your heart right now. What I would do is the same that you are trying to right now.. Try talk to her - it is the only possiblity .. See what is inside her heart too.. try to make her open to you.. If you will succeed or not ... that you cannot really know. But i think it wiorthn to try! And congratulations for the baby !! All the happiness in the world!!

I think that it is really bad that your Mom does not want anything to do with your son. He is so cute. I know it hurts you that she does not want to spend time with you or your son but right now you need to concentrate on your son. It is your moms loss that she does not want to see your son. I wish that my parents would see there grandkids more but they dont and I just feel that it is there loss.

listen as you dont know why your mom is acting a bit different,first i dont know whether your baby is a boy or a girl.coz some parents will like boy and some like girl.so that may be one cause.second may be a different reason which i even cant think about.so the correct solution is go to her and talk to her.you have to reach her and first try to talk to her.if she is not willing to talk then take her to a calm and lonely place and then talk to her softly.even if she gets angry for useless things but you have to bear coz she is ur mom.then even if she is saying try to support her in that context and say like admiting your fault.in this way you can make her normal.if its problem with the baby then you can do nothing.

Maybe your Mom was happy with the thoughts of you having no Children, and such so you would Call her and have more things in common and now she feels threatened that you are now grown up to where you have a Healthy son to take care of. I agree with some of the other posts, that she might be suffering from some form of Mental illness or such and afraid to deal with her feelings, and instead takes it out on you. All you can do is try to be there for her if she ever wants to talk, and live your life one day at time. If she does not want to move on, then you need too, and be the best you can be for you and your son. He is adorable by the way.

There has to be something that set her off. Don't get me wrong it is possible that it is all in her head or made up by her, but there has to be some reason if it is not early signs of alzheimers disease. (or diabetes. If a diabetic doesn't watch what they eat properly they can get moody.) It is sad that this happened to you though as you were able to count on her at one time. I would try to get a clear reason out of her but I wouldn't like that she is telling people all sorts of reasons.

u have a sweet boy ,but ur problem with ur mom is geting i ur way to have a great life tell her that u miss her and u want ur son to know her,and if u can live ur son alone withur mom for a while and i promis u that no gaent mom can get to be angry with there sweet grand child so take him to meet her and u will see the diffrent and may god be with u .

as there is no reason why ur mom has to stay away from you inspite of seeing the cute little baby boy,i doubt if she is into some troubles. why dont u try to find out from her close ones if she has any troubles or sickness that she is afraid to share with u as u r in a happy mood with ur family.wat can be done in such a situation is write a letter to her explaining ur worries, and how painful is this situation. apologise her if u had done any mistake knowingly r unknowingly. and assure that she is a part of ur life and u r waiting for a day when she would get back to u.only mother can forgive her children. something to be noted here is that ur mom is also troubling ur father more or less similar.when u write a letter dont expect a response from her. also,its important that u let her know that its just to vent out ur anguish and let her know wat u r going thru but not expecting a response. things should workout and she would surely come back to you.but give her some time, let her decide.all the best.

Your prOblem has only one sOlution n that is u have to talk to Your mom and try to convince her to reveal all the things which she is hiding.deep inside her heart for so long.