How to control anger ?
By SimplyJo
@SimplyJo (1694)
India
December 5, 2006 1:03pm CST
Friends..I have this big issue. I really lose my cool quite often.. can't seem to control my temper. It often causes issues for me in my personal/official life. I keep losing boy friends.. apparently noone can 'stick' to me for long coz of my temper tantrums. My folks are not to happy with my mood swings and it's a TERROR at work. I count to ten but that never works.
Sometimes at home when i'm really mad at something/someone - i even throw my stuff around and bang my bedroom door. I also feel like hitting me head/fist against the wall sometimes... I really want to control it but can't. Please help !
4 people like this
80 responses
@abccba (1914)
• Denmark
5 Dec 06
I know your problems, i have the same problem myself! But i try to walk away from everyone, and be alone for some time, when i get really angry! And sometimes i hid a wall! I broke my hand once, because i got so angry, and couln't control it, and hid my hand in a brick wall! :S
2 people like this
@cash365days (420)
• United States
6 Dec 06
In early 1999 i was at a freinds house when we went through 100 cigerettes between us. i was amazed at how many i had gone through. also in that same year i started self harm. this carried on for quite some time i rang connexions and received help it helped for some time until my home life became disturbed by continous arguments between me and my mum and dad. so once again i started self harm. i wanted to ask for help again but i was scared that it would get back to my mum. one evening near the end of year 8 i was out with my mum and dad down the local pub when i took off my jacket forgetting the cuts and scars on my wrists my mum unfortunately immediately noticed them and exactly what i was scared of happened. my mum told me off and threatened me of telling my dad.
i was even more scared ater that as me and my dad do not get on and he was part of my self harming as everytime i saw him we would get into terrible arguments, which would make me feel bad and unloved. i hated my self. i would see my self as ugly. hardly anyone said i was pretty. by the time i would be in year 2001 i was determined to get my life in order and i did so. i was extremely proud of myself for doing this. i managed to quit smoking with some difficulty though.
I tell ya... Dont do self harm... It is as ugly as being leftover...
1 person likes this
@loved1 (5328)
• United States
5 Dec 06
How much exercise do you get? It sounds like a lame idea but it really does help to get some aerobic exercise. Everyone loses their temper once in a while but it seems like the more often it happens the easier it gets. For me, the answer is walking away sometimes. If it is not worth losing my temper about I just walk away for a few minutes. When I return whatever was making me angry does not seem like such a big deal.
2 people like this
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
6 Dec 06
I wish I knew the answer to this one myself!! I have to completely remove myself from the situation...
I went to doc and it turns out that I have bi-polar disorder...That's where you have EXTREME highs and EXTREME lows..there's like no medium sometimes.. I'm either happy as a lamb or as mad as a bulldog...
I'm not taking meds right now, but doc did suggest them...I just walk away and think to myself..."WILL THIS REALLY MATTER TOMORROW?" It usually works.
Good Luck!
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
6 Dec 06
Also, I realized that my mother is the same way I am...You learn alot from your parents, sometimes good, sometimes bad....Is your mom or dad the same as you?
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
28 Dec 06
So is my mom, that's where I learned it from, lol. Honey, I don't know. You just have to "retrain" yourself to not let so many things bother you. You have to chose your battles. Somethings that I used to get furious about were just plain stupid. And I try really hard to just keep my mouth shut and remove myself from the situation to keep from making an a$$ out of myself. It's very hard, VERY hard. But, once you do it for a while, it gets easier.
I wish you the best of luck!
@happyeee (6)
• India
6 Dec 06
well the prob is bad but not big!!:) there are many things u can do to get rid of this!!cause i have!!trust me.u must have sometimes imagined yourselves in situations which dont go ur way,right??jus start imagining yourself in the same way when u are angry.the way u speak,or rather shout,the way u feel,look,everything bout it!then also try puttin urself in the shoes of the person u are angry at m misbehavin.it will help u.thin!is it really necessary to express yourself the way u are doin??is there any other way?you know the answer!!this will save u n ur loved ones from lotsa embarassement and pain later.
besides you can try "yoga"...some basic 'yogic'postures and activities called "pranayam" and also meditation.it will calm your mind and prevent unnecessary stress too.it will really help u a lot!thats a guarantee.
try some of the links i have sent u!!goodluck!:)
http://www.mysoreyoga.org/
http://www.healthandyoga.com/b2b/proposal/enhance.asp
http://www.healthandyoga.com/html/pran.html
1 person likes this
@delhiites (1)
• India
23 Dec 06
simple funda is to control ur temper is wenever you feel that your gerrting so angry or you are losing temper just start laughing or try toi laugh .I know it will be very okward to do taht bt try....
@nooreldin (471)
• Kuwait
6 Dec 06
you know? the first step in solving any problem is admitting its there and having the will to change it! many people when they lose their temper they just blame it on others, but you have the courage to face it as a problem of yours! since you got there, its easier to go on! just put in you mind.. I'll be calm and hold your tongue.. when you focus on keeping your mouth shut when you are angry, this will help a lot.. I did it myself and it worked for me! but it needs practice..good luck:)
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
20 Feb 07
I know I am a bit late on this one but I suggest when you feel the Anger boiling Up go to your Room or something just tell People that you are in a mood and that you are taking Time out, then go for a walk, a drive or just somewhere so that you can be alone. And it does work honest
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
5 Dec 06
Just smlie to yourself. I do it all the time. If something is not working, so what, life goes on.
:)
@mbs730 (2147)
• Canada
6 Dec 06
I have the same problem too. I can be almost violent when I am angry but I have never actually harmed anyone. But when I am about to explode it's best to leave me alone. I have been known to knock things over and to throw things around and to punch things. Just make sure you are alone when you are raging. This way if you lose your control, at least you will have the peace of knowing that you did not unintentionally do any harm to anyone.
1 person likes this
@Sikh_Boy (230)
• United States
6 Dec 06
Relaxation
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.
Some simple steps you can try:
* Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
* Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
* Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
* Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.
@naveen188 (5)
• India
6 Dec 06
hi
hey why don't you try meditation and yoga it helps in keeping your mind and body sound.
@onestepahead (285)
• Canada
6 Dec 06
I have an idea.
When you are in a good mood make a list of things that make you happy. Situations you have been in where you have split your gut laughing. People you love to be around stuff like that. Keep it in your pocket and when you are on the verge of one of your tantrums. Walk away. Go someplace where you can pull out your list and think about the better things in life, not the trival stuff that sets you off so badly.
Or just call your best friend and vent. Or get on a chat board and vent. Let it all out.
If that fails...there is always icecream. Can't be angry when you are eating icecream.
1 person likes this
@YoungWiseMan (22)
• Canada
27 Dec 06
Some natural alternatives can help such as taking Fish oil caps (Omega 3), there was a study that was done by doctors and they noticed that when taking Fish oil at 1-3 pills a day actually lowered anger in people. It also makes sense since fish oil is omega 3 which a lot of our diets lack and it helps our nervous system, heart and keeps our mental balance (brain) in check.
Thanks!
@caribe (2465)
• United States
7 Jan 07
Maybe you should get checked to see if you are bipolar. If not, some anger management classes would help you. You must get hold of your anger before it destroys you. People will clear out and not want to be around you because they won't know what to expect from you. I wish you well with this. Good luck.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
22 Jan 07
I too have a big problem with anger, I just get so frustrated, and somehow need to vent my anger out, if I bottle it up I just explode like a volcano. My housemate knows how to press all my buttons and he'll get a reaction every time, I've thrown things in anger and I've also hit someone in anger. I have mood swings which is due to my thyroid playing up. I find the only cure for my anger is to go to the gym and do a 5km run, or do some boxing, releasing my vent up anger onto the bag or do some weight lifting uses up the energy inside me to stop me bubbling over. We all suffer with anger it's how we deal with it that counts and we all have our own ways. Have you seen a counselor about your anger, or have you spoken to someone close? Sometimes to talk it over with a stranger helps a lot, talk about what frustrates you, who frustrates you and why. There could be a number of reasons for your anger.
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
22 Jan 07
Hey your not the only one. When I was younger I was like that too. I use to scare myself. As I got older it just went away. I cant believe it but its true. But to control your anger when it happpen at that time you must get out and for a walk anywhere. And I mean a good long while.
@krishna251101 (183)
• India
2 Jan 07
it is better you practice meditation at your leasure time meditation means you should sit idealy ,close your eyes and concentrate on your breath and you should not allow any thoughts to allow in to your brain so that you can keep you brain and anger in control.
keep practicing.
@manojgadiyar (157)
• India
13 Jan 07
The best way for controlling anger is to start counting from one to twenty when you feel like you are getting angry on someone for some reason.... I was really a short tempered person... Would get angry every now and then.... But now i have applied this formula of counting from one to twenty when i feel like i am getting angry.... Now i am really happy that i have learnt how to control my anger....
