I need some advice!!
@ScarletAlston (2693)
United States
December 5, 2006 4:49pm CST
here's the situation..my mother died last month and her apartment pretty much is now is my name..I decided that my father isn't going to be living here due to some of the things he did just before she died (stole her bank card and spent the bill money for this month, brought some guy into the house and did drugs, etc) I went ahead and got a restraining order and made arrangements for the locks to be changed..he is not on the lease and has no right to be here (he isn't paying any bills or making any contributions to the house..I am doing it all myself..I even paid for my mother's funeral) My question to you guys..do you think its right that I am putting this man out of the house? What would you do?
11 people like this
64 responses
@pcbulawanv (680)
• Austria
5 Dec 06
Based on what you told us, i think you are right of putting him out. If he does not own anything there, then by all means he has no right to stay there. But, just dont be too rude to him. Just let him know and understand why you are doing this. In this way, he can see for himself how bad he. Maybe then he will realize his faults. Good luck.
@floramwaters (1595)
• United States
5 Dec 06
I think you are doing the right thing. He is not a good man and with you being held redponsable for the apartment Then it is on you to ensure that your house is a home.
4 people like this
@ScarletAlston (2693)
• United States
6 Dec 06
I don't feel in any way guilty or bad about what I am doing..he has to leave..my mother isn't here anymore for him to leech off and I will die first before I let him put me through what my mother went through..thanks for helping!
4 people like this
@praveenkumar06 (4077)
• Hyderabad, India
5 Dec 06
u see that home and get out of that place where r u going to suffer a lot of problems from u father
2 people like this
@september_1st (3209)
• Romania
5 Dec 06
It's a bit difficult, you should allow him to live there until he finds a new place to stay. Even though he made some mistakes, he is still your father, you can't just close the door in his face. Make him realize that he was indeed wrong, you can even set a time limit in order to allow him to find an alternative but don't throw him out just like that. My own relationship with my father is far from ideal but i do respect him, even though we're not talking so much anymore and i'm trying to keep thinkgs in a peaceful state. Good day and take care.
2 people like this
@nishas3 (57)
• United States
6 Dec 06
I would do exactly what you have done. Just hope that your mother's will doesnt give him any rights to anything becuase then he can possibly bring a suit against you.
But as for the measures you have taken, he doesnt deserve the house after the way he treated your mother.
@rockbaby (805)
• Lebanon
6 Dec 06
i think that nomatter wat he did.. hes still ur father, and i dont think u should treat him this way.. no matter what he did, he's still ur father.. and if ur mother was able to put up with him, ur his daughter, i think u should too.. or at least keep him with u, and just give him time to settle down in a place where he can live.. and i say again: after all he's ur father..
@kimifan (48)
• India
6 Dec 06
wat u did was exactly right..and see that he gets to know wat u r doin ..but try giving him a chance ,also asking him to make some contributions to the home ..coz ther s no one perfect in this world ..so as a sign of respect to humanity , i feel he can be given a chance ..after wat he does,, jus go ahead ..and if his activities are again negative,see that there must be no change in the decision of moving him out of house ..also see to that ,,when he s given a chance ,he doesnt disturb u and tries to acquire something from you ..and always be careful during that period.
1 person likes this
@kaspyv (1011)
• United States
6 Dec 06
I think if I were in your circumstances I would do exactly as you have started to do and get him out and away.You are the one being responsible for everything, its your right to say what does or does not go on there. Stand up for your rights and never regret what you have to do to make things right.
@YoMomma1 (922)
• United States
6 Dec 06
well all anger and bitterness aside...this man did just lose his wife also right? even if he did her wrong, this father of yours also needs time to mourn.. give him a minute, and let him have some time whether it be just a week to find elsewhere to go- apparently you have a bad relationship with your father because why arent u willing to help him get back on his feet?
@Prabsac (75)
• India
6 Dec 06
What to say ?????
Just would ask you one thing....Is it just because of those particular incidents you made your father out of your house...
Had he been wrong to you since the beginning of your life...
Have you forgot all those precious year he gave to you for your upbringing?
How many such silly things in your life? Did your father kicked you out of the house....
If you find answer to such questions.. then definitely you would not need to reply to your doings...
Sorry if i had been rude...
@threedotz (40)
• Brazil
7 Dec 06
Everyone make mistakes... including your father... but if he won't help.. so it's better that he doesn't cause trouble too..
So you should do something to make your life easier ... it's a bit selfish, but if he doesn't think in you.. why should you do the same for him
@Juliephine (286)
• United States
6 Dec 06
Well, to be honest, I think I would turn all of them in. Let the police know that everything is in your name and the series of events that have led up to this point and that you want them arrested. Other than that, yes, I think you should put him out of the house unless he is willing to change the way he's living and get some help.
@bamby1983 (286)
• India
6 Dec 06
If it's not his house, you can kick him out. He doesn't sound like a nice guy. Just try to make sure that he has some other place to go. You don't want him to be homeless and starve do you? However, if you DO wish to let him stay with you, remember to lay down the rules and enforce them strictly. If you're gonna be helping him with his life, he needs to understand that there are rules to be followed andthat those rules have been reasoned soundly.
