Independence in marriage

I agree with you on this but I did have my independants not to the extend of own Bank account even though now I wish I had but my Circumstances where he turned into a different Person as soon as we married for 2 years he kept up a great front I am not going to go into details but I held it out for 21 years and then I realised I was wasting my Time and live trying to make it work I always worked and I learned to do a lot of things on my own as he was not interrested in helping and if I wouldn't have then I would not have survived these last 5 years lol But yes what you are saying is what a marriage is suppose to be

it depends on your beliefs, what your meaning of independence in your life, if someone loves you and married you then he / she gots some rights to your life also. so everybody has to study his / her parter's demand, beliefs, love. if you feel something wrong then discuss with your partner, take patioens and give enough time to understand you better according to my view for husband and wife allthing should be shared, at the name of independence you cant live separate with each other,the success of marrige life requires so many compromise at both sides and stability in marrige life is essential for the childrens thank you

cloudwatcher you are so cute with your koala! Anyway,it's the same for all that is wrong in this world today. Lack of trust, Selfishness,and lack of faith. God is being taken out of so much so morals are going downhill more each day. God Bless.

We have been married 13 years and share everything. We have never had "his" or "hers" and just do everything together. We work from home so for the past 5 years we have been together 24/7 and it is great. When one person wants to do something the other person doesn't care for, they still do it because that is what marriage is - doing things for your spouse to make them happy and they will do the same for you. I do think a couple should know how to do their own things but everything should be joint ownership and nothing hid.

I agree but unfortunately I think society has ruined that for the younger generations. My mother had a seperate accoutn from my father and she says her money is hers and his is his. I do not understand it because my husband and I share everything but then again he is for the most part really old fashioned.

I'm still a bachelor but I feel Independance in marriage is very important. If you don't the space u need it will lead to a unhealthy married life or even a break up. But... whatever u do never hide that from one another. There should be no secrets in marriage. You can have two seperate accounts but what u use the money for is wats important.

In marriage or anythingesle... Independence is very important...Too copromising, controlling and dependent to each other create conflictions... Marriage doesn't say that you have leave all your likings 'n' dislikings of your unmarried time... There should be mutual understanding between two... You are getting your second half in your life... it doesn't mean that who is coming in your lfie he or she has live on your way... When your both hands activities different then how can be your spouse same... One has to accept other's liking dislikings and care for that.... As far as finance is concerned, they can have joint account on the other hand they can retain their own accounts also... They can manage budget mutually... They are together, they are made for eachother, they luc eachother but luv doesn's say to leave your freedom....

Dear cloudwatcher, I think maybe from the title of the discussion can lead people on to think that it is about being too dependent in negative ways, but it's good because it gets people intrigued =) I agree with your notions and I believe you're not thinking about unhealthy dependant. Being raised in a generation whereby prenuptial agreement is almost like a must, it's by God's grace that I'm made understood more about being one in marriage. After all, isn't a woman is taken from a man? That they're actually one. God who puts them together in the first place. But because of sin, it then takes a prenuptial agreement to secure each person's interest in marriage. I believe if God is not the center or the tie that bounds a marriage, being one is the most ridiculous idea for a marriage. Thank you for bringing up this discussion, we should have more like this to teach generation after generation about the true value we must posses. God bless you, cloudwatcher, for being His channel here =)

Independence is very important whether or not you are in a relationship. It is part of who you are as a person. Yes, marriage is a union, together, but everyone needs some alone time, their personal space, time to hang out with their friends. I don't agree about the separate bank accounts, I think that is a bit extreme, but I would never give up my independence for anyone. There has to be a line drawn somewhere.

me and my partner don't have joint accounts but we still share everything. I don't see why just because you are married you should need to lose your independence. Surely nobody wants to spend all their time with one other person no matter how much you love them.

we all should have some sense of responsibity whether or not you are married

marrige means cuple!!!you can't be so independent when you are married!!

Independence is very important in a marriage. I see too many marriage breaking up because each becomes too controlling and dependent on each other. When you enter a relationship you are an individual, with ideals and a personality, and the relationship is not supposed to stifle who you were before the relationship, but rather compliment those aspects. As a military wife, I see many young wives who have never had the chance to live on their own, who have gone from mom and dads rules and regulations right into married life. They fall into the habit of being overly dependent on their husbands. Some do not pursue careers, or have ever worked a job, and have only high school education. Then something happens and goes wrong in the marriage, many will stay in the marriage miserably because they have no means to survive on their own, and they are quite frightened to take the step out of the bad marriage. This is why independence in marriage is so important. Each person needs to know that they can take care of themselves as well as any children they bring into the world. You just never know what can happen in a marriage that may put an end to the union. Of course there should be mutual grounds and sharing of common aspects of the finances. Like in my marriage we have a joint account, but we each retain the separate accounts we had before marriage. Other than that everything else is pretty much joint. It just works, and I like knowing that if for some reason things don't work out, or something happens to my spouse that I have something to fall back on.

Independence is the birth right of all.After marriage as u say it is the mixing of souls so I think after marriage the level of independency should be lowered but its always safe to keep a better independency should is required to stick together both of them to maintain their marriage life and life happily...But many may think the other way...

Independence doesnt means to sleep in diffrent beds or really not sharing the money together.I think you need independence in marriage coz we are made as free individuals and sometimes in some ordinary problems we need to act without being asked why this or why that.I think independence is good in small things in marriage not in big things where we need to give hand one to another and make things go better!

This is very important in marriage, sometimes you need to have your own space and enjoy your life with friends.

i agree withyou,marriage is about understanding with each other but not the rights .but sometimes money has to be separate,only in different conditions

I think *some* independence is needed - hey, everybody needs their space! - but if two people are going to keep every aspect of their lives separate, what's the point of getting married? I can understand some things not having joint ownership - like if each person has their own car. And I can see some instances for seperate bank accounts - like my mother is horrible with money and has problems controlling her spending, so she doesn't have access to the bank account. But in most cases, you're right. Marriage is about sharing and joining two lives together.

see, independence is very important to everbody its a basic right. but when u marry it is a mutual understanding of both the partners. both should give space to each other. then only their life will be interesting.

I am an old fashioned wife, my life revolves around my husband and kids. But I think a certain amount of independence is vital to your own happiness. I do have my own car, my own bank account. I have been divorced once and learned the hard way that I have to protect myself. We have no secrets though, he knows hiw much money I have, I balance his account for him. We share expenses in whatever way works best at the time.