Going dutch

Maybe it's me, but I'm more of a splitting the bill type person. I just don't like other people giving me money or paying for my stuff, really. It makes me feel guilty especially when I HAVE money, or even don't have money. But I also don't really "date", so I never have this problem.

Sounds like he may just be cheap. Does he have a fairly decent job? I don't mind splitting the check occasionally but if he is doing this alot I would watch out. Before you know it you will be paying for everything.

i have read other people's responses also,and i disagree on something..if he just wanted to spend time with you but he has no money so he lets you pay,he could have arranged something that doesn't involve money...like for example invite you to his place,to watch a movie,or to cook dinner for you..or go for a walk..or,i don't know..not everything has to involve money.and i am sure that he could have afforded at least once to pay the bill... in rest,when i am on the first dates,i agree that the both should pay ...when the relationship becomes more seriouse,then any of them can pay,i don't think it should matter that much anymore...of course,that doesn't mean that just one of them has to pay from that point... an advice?well...when he will invite you again,tell him you didn't get your sallary yet and you don't have money to get out and see what he says..if he says ok,there is no problem,i will pay ,or...ok then let's stay home and do something it means he is not cheap and he really likes you and wants to spend time with you..but if he sais,ok then would you mind of i go out with my friends,and we will see eachother's another day then...you can imagine the answer:)

What makes you think the man should pay all the time? Like someone else said, he might be on a budget. He probably really likes you but may not be able to afford to take you out all the time. At least he's not expecting you to pay the whole bill. He might start paying when you've got to know each other better. Isn't it better that he starts as he means to go on anyway rather than paying to start with just to impress you?

If he is asking you out he should pay. If for some reason he is on a budget or low on money, he should ask you if it is ok if you go dutch. I suggest just asking him why he believes in going dutch if he is asking you out and picking the place. You could agree that each of you pay every other time which would be fair. When you pick the place, you pay - when he picks the place, he pays. I would be upfront with him because maybe he is just looking for friendship instead of a relationship.

He might be in a budget that's why. Maybe he wants to do things with you and spend time with you but just doesn't have the funds for it so he thinks of letting your pay for your share. But you should let him know how you feel about it. You can try to joke him about it at first, like try to tease him and tell him to pay for evreything next time. Or next time he asks you, tell him you don't have enough money and see if he'll pay for everything. If he has enough money but still asks you to pay for your share, that's really weird already.

If he asked you out then he should be the one to pay the bill. I can understand if he is on a budget and all but he should think of that before asking you out to eat I mean there are other things to do and some free. I don't know about broaching the subject with him about the bill splitting just yet because he could just be calculating the cost of the bill with the money he has so he can see how much he has left. but I wouldn't let it become a habit.. also I would do this when the bill comes excuse yourself to go to the restroom to freshen up so by the time you get out of the restroom the bill should be paid and tooken care of if it is still there then I wouldn't offer to pay. If he didn't really like you I'm sure he wouldn't keep asking you out. Well i hope this has helped out in any way. Good luck be strong and remember he asked you out you let him pay.

Sounds like he may have financial limits or either he's just cheap. I would definately talk to him about it because it sounds like you two have been out enough that it shouldn't be too awkward. If he isn't into you, then you need to know so that you can move on in the dating world. If it's that he can't afford to pay for the two of you, maybe you could work out something where one night he picks where you go and pays, and you pick and pay the next time. As women, we expect the man to foot the bill when we are dating, but that's not really fair, is it? I think if you are dating one person regularly, then the responsibility should be split.

Whoever takes someone on a date should ensure the person they've asked out has a nice time. This would include picking a nice place, picking a convenient time, and picking up the tabe. It's not considered a date when you have to pick up your own bill. You could go out by yourself and do that.

I'm the type of person (gal) that will insist on paying half or part of the bill on a date, I always at least make the offer. That way, if something doesn't work out, or whatever I don't feel bad about it, especially if I end up ordering the 25.00 lobster lol. I think my problem is I'm too independent lol. Usually, 9 times out of 10 my dates won't let me pay 1/2, but will eventually let me at least leave the tip(usually after the second date or so). And the 1 time they let me pay 1/2, it's usually because they're on a budget/financial problem at that moment. Or, I know a lot of women that are like me and pay or at least offer to pay 1/2, and a lot of men have come to accept that as the norm now. He may be one of those men. If it bothers you that much, then you should politely say something to him. He's probably having some financial problems or has a budget planned as well. Start the conversation out something like this, "It's getting a little expensive for me to be going out so much, maybe there's something else we could do, like stay home and watch a movie, instead of paying for bowling and dinner." If he's comfortable enough, he'll probably look relieved and agree with you, and explain he's on a budget. That way too kind of gives him an out to say something without being confrontational to him.

Maybe he dont that enough money thats why it happens that way he will not ask you for a date if he does not like you.

Thankfully for you, it's only been three dates. I would be very upfront about this. If it's a date, he's picking the place, then quite simply, he should pay. If he expects you to go dutch, then I would simply suggest that the next time dinner is involved, that you have equal say in where you go to eat. If he picks some high priced place and it's beyond your budget, then you should be able to tell him that he needs to pay for the entire meal and not just half of it. If this continues, I would suggest putting all the cards on the table and tell him he either is dating your or he isn't. The one good thing you have on your side, as stated before, is there hasn't been too much time involved with this guy so there's not really too much of an attachment. If you fear approaching him with this small thing now, imagine what will happen if the relationship continues and something major comes up. No one likes any type of confrontation (good or bad) but trust and honesty go hand in hand with every relationship. Don't be afraid to tell this man how you feel.

He's just being cheap. Does he have any manners? I understand and I feel that it's perfectly ok if you pay sometimes but when he asks and calls it a date, he should pay. He's just trying to get over on you. Speak your mind and tell him the deal. Let him know how you feel.

When he ask you out try saying I just dont have the money at this time, if he dosent come back with oh I got it then you know where he is comeing from or before you go out ask his is this a dutch treat so I will know how much to bring dont assume he is paying just ask him stright out.

I believe in the beginnings of a dating relationship the man should pay at the very least half the bill. He should not expect the woman to pay the entire thing especially if he has picked the place and date.... This should be discussed AFTER the relationship has had a bit to grow. It could be that he is on a budget yeah, but I doubt it. I believe that he just likes a free ride. People who are on a budget and want to date will find creative ways to take the other out. It certainly wouldn't be restaurant after restaurant and bowling.... no he is using your money to entertain himself. I would not see him anymore.

It sounds odd that u have to pay on ur date...if he is on a budget then i think he should not have called u out...but once he does that i think he has to pay it for himself... Maybe he is having some difficulty in managing his expenses ..but then he should have taken u to someother places where this problem doesnt arises like taking u to a park or beach...but that doesnt mean he is not interested in u...obviously he is interested thats y he wants to be with u...so next time he takes u out pay the bill urself...and lets see how he responds

I totally agree with you. He is asking you out. He should pay, and if you are really interested in him, may I sugest that you politely address it. You can say that you are perhaps more traditional than other women he knows, but you have grown up to expect the gentleman to pay for a "date". If he just wants to be buddies, then you don't mind paying your way. If he is having budgetary problems, he probably will tell you then. If he is huffy and offended, you did not need to be bothered in the first place?

He should pay if its a date his taking you on. By the wgere does the term "frugal" Dutch come from, does anyone know?

Sounds to me like he's using you. If I were you I'd make up an excuse as to why you can't pay or the next time he asks you out simply say "okay,your treat?"

yeh cut him some slack! how old are u! depends on that! he prolly really likes you! and wants things to work out! and then when they all smooth he'l prolly use that money to get u something special!:D hehe! now dont dat sound good!?