Hey tell me your Favourite joke???

THIS IS 21ST CENTURY FOR YOU Science and technology have brought so much blessing to mankind that life is made easier by the day. If you are over 30 years of age, you will know the miracle of the 21st century. Read on: * Our communication - Wireless * Our dress - Topless * Our telephone - Cordless * Our cooking - Fireless * Our youth - Jobless * Our food - Fatless * Our labour - Effortless * Our conduct - Worthless * Our relation - Loveless * Our attitude - Careless * Our feelings - Heartless * Our politics - Shameless * Our education - Valueless * Our follies - Countless * Our arguments - Baseless * Our boss - Brainless * Our HR - Useless * Our job - Thankless * Our Salary - Very less...

i know you will like that Dear Mr. Laloo , You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks Bill Gates. Laloo jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued... ... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee. No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi. Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad. Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.

Teacher: What should not be put into mouth? Student: Bulb. Teacher: Why? Student: My mother says to my papa daily, switch off the bulb. After that I shall put into mouth.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten? A. The boy's hand Q: What is the similarity between men and rats? A: Both keep searching for new HOLES. Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period? A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble. Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology? A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology. Q: What's the height of recycling? A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised? A. Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. A. Tarzan asked "Why"? The animals told him your tail is in the front" Last but not least... Secret of long life - Morning two eggs, evening two pegs... and night two legs!

I have too many to pick just one, but I'll add this to your discussion. BTW I think humour is so important, and actually beneficial to our health! Thanks for the smile. Here goes: A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!" So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!" Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts." Cheers!

Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment... warm b'coz AC doesn't work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50

More Signs Technology Took Over Your Life - You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number. - You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions. - You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature. - Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-). - You back up your data every day. - You print the itinerary of your vacation from a scheduler software. - You pack the laptop computer first for any trip. - You know more about the computer than about all of your friends. - You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid. - On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels

Valentine's Day Story John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose. His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She now lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like. When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station in New York. "You'll recognize me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen. I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened: A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured. Almost uncontrollably I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell. She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful. I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. "I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me. May I take you to dinner?" The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!" It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."

Banta got into his old work clothes one Saturday morning and set about all the chores his wife had been urging him to do all week... He cleaned the garage, pruned the hedges, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a very beautiful woman pulled up in the driveway and called out her window, "Say, what do you get for yard work?" Banta thought for a moment, then answered, "The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her."

An old lady went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. "It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week." "I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor. "Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half- hour in the morning and again at night." "No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?" "Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."

College Entrance Exam: For Football Players You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly to Qualify. 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions. OR Give the first name of PIERRE Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army (d) WRITE A PLAY 4. What religion is the Pope? (Check only one) (a) Jewish (b) CATHOLIC (c) Hindu (d) Swedish (e) Agnostic 5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 1? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (Approximate) 8. What are people in America's far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (C) NORTHERNERS 9. Spell -- CAT, DOG, PIG 10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five. EXTRA CREDIT: Using your fingers, count from 1-5.

A Man went to a calender shop and ordered for a 2007 calender, The shopkeeper replied sorry and told that he was late and he had just 1000 in stock then.

Avtar and Kartar used to stay in same building. Avtar on the ground floor and Kartar on the 25th floor. One day when the lift was not working Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25th floor to find Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read : ' How did you enjoy your dinner?' Not to be outdone, Avtar wrote under it, 'Sorry, I could not make it.'

The Chastity Belt Load All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade." The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching. Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted. A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend. He yelss - "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"

haha,now that was a good one:P..now here is one from me A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?" The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking. "You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have." The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?" The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."

If a bean's a bean, what's a pea? A great relief

I dont know whether you will appreciate this or not, but somehow I believe you will enjoy: A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh, no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "Not yet. It's his turn with the teeth!" Please write back how did you feel the joke.

Race to the Sun: Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts. One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun." "But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt." And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

Don't Kick the Animals, Man A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kick the chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom should I tell him?"

lol, what about this one One morning Nelson Mandella was drinking his coffee and reading his paper when there was a knock at the door. He answered it to find a Chinese dilivery man holding out a clipboard shouting 'You sign, you sign, you sign!' 'I haven't ordered anything, go away,' he replied, and shut the door. A while later he looked out of his window and noticed that there was a large container sitting on his lawn. He went out and opened it up, only to be surrounded up to his waist by a pile of car exhausts. The next day he was having his coffee when the same Chinese man knocked at the door, shouting 'You sign, you sign, you sign'. 'Go away, and take that container with you!' Nelson said, and slammed the door in his face. A while later he looked out of his window and saw that there was now two containers sitting on his lawn. He went out and opened the new one up, only to be surrounded to the waist by a pile of car wheels. The next day the Chinese man knocked on the door again, and when Nelson answered, he shouted 'You sign, you sign, you sign!' 'Look,' he said, 'Bugger off, and take these containers with you! Who are you supposed to be dilivering to anyway, because I haven't ordered this stuff!' The chinese man waddles off to his truck, and returns with another clipboard. He runs his finger down it, and says 'Nissan Main Dealer'.