Having your own children vs. Adoption

For me? I'd bond closer with an adopted child. There would be no resentment, no looking down at the child and thinking 'you leeched nutrients off of me for nine months, put me in excrutiating pain and then ruined my body'. Which is what I'd feel if I gave birth to my own child. I find the idea of myself being pregnant absolutely disgusting. Besides that, I have so many health problems that any child I gave birth to would be sickly and have an unhappy and painful life. The child would need extra care, and care I wouldn't be able to provide, and would eat up most of my financial resources. Further resentment there. I don't plan on adopting, but I'm just pointing out that blood ties don't really mean anything. As many kids are resented and abandoned because of blood ties as they are loved and adored.

hy. the only reason that i dont want to hae kids is becouse my body will get very igly,i will get real fat,and im afraid of pain. i was thinging to adoption but i can not do it.if afraid that i will not love that baby.and i am sure i wont,and if he will be a bad boy or gril when he or she will grow up i will be very mad knowing that the baby is not mine...i know its sounds stupid but i cant do it.i reather make 10 babys of my own than adopting one. im afraid of not loving my own baby,i wont think again of adopting a baby. i know a person here in my town,who wanted to have very much a baby.she could not make a baby so she adopted a lil cute boy.he was very lil.he was like 3-4 months.she took him home,taked care of him,loved him.reased him,he was very handsome.he is now 25 years old.i never saw a guy that gorgeous like him before.his so special...whatever..and..one day he maked something that really maked her adoptive mother very mad and she told him"i shouldent teked you from there!"she dident realised what she said and he asked her."what you just said?"and this is how a real sad story begans,becouse after a few months he went crazy and he was in a club whit his guys and he came home very drunked.he went upstairs and he went in to his adoptive mother room.he turned the light on,took his jacket of.she waked her up and slept her very hard.he went to her bed,and started to undress her.she started to screem and asked him to stop.he dident stop,he continued to undress her and then he was rapeing her over and over again.in the next day,he was staying in his room and dident want to get out remembering what he was doing.his mother dident react in any way.she went in to the kitchen maked a coffe for bouth of them and she went to his room.she was siting next to him on the couch and started to talk to him and asked him if he remembers anything from last night.he respond afirmativ.after a few minuts of talking and trying to solve somehow the problem he told her that he is in love whit her for a long time and he did what he did becouse he was happy that he foud out that she is not his mother.she was looking very long at him and asked him why?(the truth is that she is a very pretty woman,really pretty).he said that he likes everything about her and he can not live like this anymore and he is going to move in another country couse he dosent want to see her again.he is 25 and she is 45..they ended the discussion and she left the house for shopping.when she was back he was gon.not for good,but he wasent at home.he just went out somwhere.he camed back after a few hours,time when the mother was watching tv and thinking at all the things happend a day before.he finally came home,went directly to his room and started to pack.she call him downstairs to talk to him.they started talking again about what happend and she asked him if he really wants to go.he said yes becouse i cant take it anymore.he told her that he likes her for a very long time and he can not make it anymore.he can not live whit the thought that the woman that he loves is his mother.when he wanted to go she called him back and asked him to sit near her.after a couple of moments she told him not to go.she said that she can not live whitout him.he was looking at her and asked her what douse she want to say whit this.she told him "i'm in love whit you to".the boy went crazy.in that moment he was up from the couch,walking in the house from left to right and from right to left.she started to cry.it seems that she was in love whit him for a long time to but she dident know what to do.he stoped from walking and go straight to her and pull her of from the couch and told her to go whit him.he took her upstairs,take her in to her room.she grabed her hands very hard and look in to her eyes and told her that he loves her.in that moment she kissed him very powerful.they started to make love like noone else.from that day theyr lifes began to change very much becouse all the situation was going crazy,they wore very very good together,they wore very in love but the problem was theyr neighbours,familly,her sisters,her mother,her father,her friends and his friends.5 years had to pass by so that everyone could accept theyr relation.and now they are married and they have a 4 months lil babygirl. it is the most horible story i ever heard in my life!!!a mother geting married whit her adoptiv soon.!!! this is why i wont adopt a babykid never ever.

I think it depends. Actually we all carry consciousness from one body to another. REad www.asitis.com for more details. If I have my own child I can give him or her a piece of my consciousness. It will naturally come to them. When theya re adopted at birth they get a certain consciousness of their biological parents. God consciousness is everything in life. Human form of life is meant for God consciousness. So, if the adopted child is from god conscious parents then I would not have a problem in adopting if I am looking to adop that is. I do not have any other issues. Nice interesting post. Thank you.

I believe having your own kids is something e'one wud want,but that doesn't take away the yearning towards an adopted child...The bond won't be the same for me,but i can't say which wud be better than the other!!

be positive.. What if you were adopted?? how would you feel??! Best way is to put yourself into the shoes of that particular lonely kid.

if there's a possibility to have your own child,its enough for you not to adopt...but if theres a circumstances that there's a child and you pity for him/her and you want to adopt them,then go!...if you really love the one person, connecting in the vein or blood is not an issue at all...it is connecting through heart to heart...Like what you use to feel to your opposite partner in life...youre not connected to each other by blood but by heart...by your whole-hearted love for her and her love for you...theres no difference if you adopt something/someone, that you know to yourself ,you will pour them your whole-hearted love.

I understand how you feel because my husband feels the same way. He feels that the bond we have with our kids (2 of them) will not be the same as with adopted kids. But I choose to disagree. Maybe I'm different. I generally love kids and consider all of them the same. The only difference is that I am at liberty to raise my kids the way I want to and sometimes I remain silent when I see parents treating their kids badly. I know if I adopt another child I will have the same love and affection as that I have for my own. But certain characteristics of my kids I would understand better because it would contain traces of my or my spouse's family..which will not be the case with my adopted child. Another thing would be that I don't know how everyone else in the family would consider the adopted child. If I am the only one considering the child as my own and everyone else treats him/her like an outsider, then I would be doing injustice to the child by bringing him/her into the family.

i think it would be good to have you own, but if you do not have any other way adoption is a good option.

It is always better and one has a little bit weaker end in their heart for their own child compared with adopted child..as because u have a strong bond with him not only mentally but also physically and ethically... And U can say that "He is my own child" with uir head up... But I think we should not ignore or made them feel inferiority..when compared with own child..they should be brought up thinking as our own blood....

Thats not to be very sure. You will have to take it from person to person.well i have a friend that was adopted and the love between her and her mom was as strong as the bond between real ones. It all depends on individual criteria.

no doubt having your own children are better then anything else on the earth so instead of discussing it i wud like to say nothing is like having your own children

Well what happens when someone becomes a step parent. I don't believe DH loves our youngest more because she is biologically his. My step dad has never treated me nor my brother any different than my sisters. I love both of my girls more than I could imagine. I can't say how I would feel about an adopted child since I have not had one. I did look into it at one point. When I was younger & married, I had a number of fertility problems. They wanted to do a complete hystarectomy on me at 21. I did not let it happen & managed to have soon to be 3 babies. I wanted to be a mother though & it would not have mattered to me how that happened.

own children, from my blood and flesh

wat icant understand

I truly feel you can bond with an adopted childe just as strongly with your own child.

You are right about the Bond but it is not because of seeing yourself in the Child so much it is feeling them inside when the bond grows and feeling them grow for a Man it is a bit different as they do not feel all that there is sort of a bond if the Man takes interest in the Pregnancy but the real bond between Dad and child sets in when the Baby is born So you are right the bond is not the same but it is still love for a child that you believe is your when you adopt

To adopt a child needs a lot of guts and maturity, because you should never regret your decision at any point in your life. Having your own children is nothing more than being in thw crowd. Adopting needs real people, who could do it.

I have my own child of one year

I think a child that is adopted would have to be the luckiest around. They are really wanted. The process you have to go through just to adopt is unbelievable. Most idiots can get pregnant and have a child. I don't know if can have my own kids. There is a chance I can't. I would feel blessed to have either.

definitely adoption...if i m ever given a chance to adopt i will happily for for it..