Relationship
By shaheena
@shaheena (35)
Pakistan
December 9, 2006 1:38am CST
If i will ask this question to you all that "How long does it take to build a lasting relationship? 6 months? 1 Year? 2 Years? 5 Years? 10 years?"
I think the answer is None of the above. It takes a lifetime of commitment.
It is easy, perhaps, to start a romantic relationship. What takes effort, though, is to keep improving it while at the same time, not letting it fall.
You may have gone out with someone for years and may think you have them figured out. That is unwise thinking. In the first place, you can't know another person's mind that well.
In the second place, people change, situations change. You are never "done" building your relationship. To make it last a lifetime, you have to work on it a lifetime. However, work does not mean a burden. True, it takes effort to do any work,but work can be satisfying and pleasurable. Seemingly tedious work done in building a relationship can lead to a lot of long term peace of mind, happiness, and even great pleasures.
A lasting relationship that gives pleasure throughout life and lets you have peace of mind is much better for your life than short term relationship that gives only pleasure on the short term.
How do you all think about it.
56 responses
@xxclairexxj (590)
•
9 Dec 06
I think it all depends on the couple themselves. Everyone has varying levels of trust and it takes a long time to totally trust a person. Also, once you trust someone it doesn't mean things stay that way. Things will happen over the course of a relationship that will test that relationship. There are many ups and downs. The best thing is not to try and analyse it.
@michaelvanx (568)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 06
HHMM.. i think relationship that lasts have many factors to consider.. but i personally prefer someone that is simple minded rather than complicated ones that keep thinking and thinking and thinking.. and non-stop thinking again..
had a relationship where that person had too much to think.. always worried and not happy because of too many things on the mind.. so was not really happy...
but it also needs responsibility and that's wat makes the relationship lasts.. like both are responsible not only one person to let's say make it a happy relationship..
so.. if you think that person is the right one.. please go ahead and start the relationship!! ^^;;
@dai_ca (1)
• United States
9 Dec 06
Well to me relationships are just what keep everyone alive , without someone to be there or who say i love you each and everyday will make you a very poluted person. Everytime i see a couple with smiles on their faces i know they are happy and will stay happy for a long time maybe not but to me i experienced that myself many time where i got cheated on and played on but i come to realized that im older and wiser if i do get cheat on again i will just becalm and let it go.
@mkup30 (494)
• United States
10 Dec 06
it depends on the couple. I really believe that there is no one right answer here. You need to spend time and share experiences with eachother and see how eachother react in certain situations...and get to really know eachother. also helps to become friends first to build a long lasting relationship
@balabrahmam (1071)
• India
10 Dec 06
it is very dificult to tell you but i will try to giving my opinion i think relationship between any human is basically depend on the understanding capacity if they understand each other they will going nicely if any missunderstanding their relationship will be broken .In my life i made lot of relationships but in my memory only some relationships only standing
@siddharth_sampad (319)
• India
10 Dec 06
i totally agree with it shaheena... the relationship with our relatives is something we are born with... it is in us... and when we bring some1 else in our life too ie. some1 we like n is very special... we have a life long commitment and something which comes frm within by itself... u cant name it as work or a thing.. it just flows outa u n i can tell this coz i m in love with sum1 who is simply my life...
@Recondeath (12)
• United States
10 Dec 06
It does take a while. Ive been in a 3 year relationship with my girl and its work. But im happy
@limcyjain (3516)
• India
9 Dec 06
relationships can be built in a few hours or may not be built in several years. When you really are in a strong one you are always there by him whatever the situation is. My husband met with an accident three years ago was on bed for 4 months but was by his side every moment with two kids to take care. He simply cant forget this. He loves me much more and cares much more, he says he simply cant ask more from god.
@AlmightyBigfoot888 (553)
• United States
9 Dec 06
it depends on the people. some can take a day, others 30 years.
@kitot5ht (35)
• Philippines
10 Dec 06
My answer would be, it depends on the couple and no one could ever tell that years would be a basis for a long lasting relationships. To build a lasting realationship first the couple should Trust each other. Trust is the most important formula and then second is LOVE...
@couplescafe (18)
• United States
9 Dec 06
You are so right, Shaheena. It's not that it takes time or work, it's a matter of realizing - not so much that people change - it's more a matter of that experiences shape our perceptions and outlooks. This happens to each person in the relationship... so, it's a matter of constant sharing regarding how those experiences altered one's perception and outlook... and understanding (not necessarily agreeing with) each other's perceptions. In that way, you grow together!I hate it when people say they broke up because they grew apart... NO... they didn't grow together... they stopped sharing... and their experiences gave them different outlooks... and they didn't communicate and support each other..
anyhoo... that kinda thing is EXACTLY what my book Couples Cafe: Where Couples Go to be Devoured by Love is all about... it's about creating, maintaining, and savoring a relationship with ESP (emotional, spiritual, physical connection.
Go to my profile page on here or www.myspace.com/couplescafe to get a copy of the book at 40% off - through Dec. 18.
@zarden (107)
• Philippines
10 Dec 06
for me in a relationship it should be give and take because as what they say it takes two to tango, and every one should take their responsibility fairly and unconditionally, relationship between two person should involve most importantly the so called unconditional love.
@DeborahGalasso (275)
• United States
9 Dec 06
Thats true. you could be married for 50 years and still be divorced. Mariage is over rated now but then again I feel you shouldnt wait to get married to an extent because you may not have a month a year or so forth. And you get married because you want to spend the rest of your life with that person and you love the unconditionally so if thats how you feel now...why wait, no one knows the future . committment is a process the rest of your life together. I dont know its hard to put it into words...maybe someone will understand what im trying to say lol
@sanell (2112)
• United States
9 Dec 06
Well I agree, that any relationship takes a lot of work to get it going and to keep it going. Even with just friendships is the same. if you do not continue to work with the friendships then that will fail as well. I have countless friends but many of them I have not had a chance to keep up with or perhaps I do from time to time but I never hear from them. Sometimes it is simply due to location or time.
@teikloon7 (136)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 06
It really depends on the compatibilty.
If it is very compatible, it is simply made and lasts. If everything goes well.
There might be outside factors that might disrupt it. Money, Someone else and maybe other problems.
You can't really determine for sure how long does it takes.
There is no specific timespan to ensure that.
If you really hope for a long lasting one, you hafta work hard for it :)
@onestepahead (285)
• Canada
9 Dec 06
What you say is exactly true. The longer you are friends or partners the stronger the bond. People think they know someone so well when they make the commitment to get married. After a couple years of living with each other day in and day out they realize that they barely knew that person at all. Usually this is a good thing anyway as couples generally grow closer.
@luckypuppy (49)
• India
9 Dec 06
IT WILL TAKE JUST 1 SECOND TO START A NEW RELATIONSHIP. BUT FOR MAKING IT A LONG LASTING RELATION U HAVE DO MORE. U HAVE TO GIVE PROPER CARE AND LOVE FOR THAT. IT WILL DEPEND HOW LONG IOT WIL TAKE TO MAKE IT A LONG LASTING RELATION
@taruha (559)
• United States
9 Dec 06
I fully agree. the life time relations can be made in ashort span of time but to maintain life time relationship,you need to work continuously through the life.
