is it fair to blame youself?

I have no idea, but I tend to blame things on myself, as well. I'm always jinxing everything and nothing ever works out for me. I'm always afraid to talk about anything good that might happen because if I do, then I'll jinx it. It happens EVERY TIME! I have to learn to just keep my mouth shut. I jinxed my relationship with my friend in London and that's the absolute worst. *sigh*

its not really fair because you cant always control everything that happens, but i know that i blame myself for almost everything...and it has caused me to become very depressed over the past few months. i dont really know what to tell you to help your friend, but just try to reinforce the fact that its not all her fault and she shouldn't blame herself for it. just try to be a good friend...be there for her when she needs you and lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. that's really all you can do. it sounds to me that she's depressed (like me), so maybe you should suggest that she seeks professional help.

Of course it's not fair to blame yourself but I think all of us are guilty of it at atleast one point in time. Sounds like your friend really needs a shoulder to cry on and it seems that you're being a good friend to her by showing so much concern. All you can do for someone going through a rough time is being there for them and offering your thoughts if they ask for them. Also, if at all possible, try to take her mind off her problems for awhile by treating her to something she enjoys doing, a movie or something.

as i see u r now the only "ray of hope", only u can get her out of that situation!A person's belief in God is not that much weak, that if something goes wrong one starts talking about atheism. Its not like that, tell me when had God promised u that "never in ur life u face an wanted situation"no such thing or assumption is there!But its a part of life its like u enjoy apples but there is a problem that apples have seeds in it,so thats something u care about while enjoying apples, and never due to seeds a person quit eating apples anymore! i would say u make her talking about those things which depress her less n less! when u meet her always have some joke then somea amazing facts anbout this world u know she'll suprise to know about! try some outings n after all movie watching as one participant here already suggested

stay with her... cheer her by making her remember the good times that u have spent and make her remember things which has brought +ve outcomes and simply dont give her the time to think and blame herself... keep her pre occupied... and maybe u can make things for her from your own hands and make her feel special and tell her to go to temple every evening or any time regularly.... every day ... this will bring back her faith and she ll truly be happy again or atleast not blame herself to that extent.. maybe i wish her luck.....

It is not at all fair to blame yourselves. One should not think that the decisions he/she made are wrong after already taking those decisions. So that you have to think 10 times before taking those decisions. Just say her to not to lose her hope in god. And one who is confident about his/her decisions will not frustrate at all afterwords so think before taking any decisions. The god always examining us by seeing how we are facing to the tough conditions in life. So to get pass in this exam you have to make decisions at each step in life very carefully. Also even if you fail in that exam due to wrong decisions then also there's no need to be frustrated b'coz god knows that at each step in life you are learning something.

first of all it is very good that your friend rely on you ,listen to the problem ,let her pour out her heart to you.sometimes frustration and depression decreases to a large extent when we have disclosed our internal feelings to a close friend.then later try to explain her to bring positive thoughts in her mind and ask her to forget the past .if she is not improving then take her immediately to the psychiatrist.....

It is not fair to blame yourself as you are not able to control everything that happens to you or the people around you. Things happen for a reason but it does not mean that she or whoever did anything wrong. I try not to blame myself too much otherwise it would get me upset or down as well. You are alright doing something for her by being there for her and helping her and giving her your support. Maybe you can get her to go to church.

SaYING encouring words to a friend is not actually enough to comfort her. I suggest that you invite her for a party, invite her for swimming. so that in one way or the other she can forget her problem. Stop talking about the problem because the more you talk about it the more the hurt comes back. ASk her to go for a vacation if you can join her then join her. it is not enough for you to tell that she will cheer up because you are not in her feet. help her forget her problem by getting busy for other things

ok! you can tell her that its so good that she looks at her mistakes and try to think about it, cuz not many people do that.. you can tell her also, that sometimes we must blame ourselves but in a positive way, meaning to learn from our mistakes , not in a negative depressing way! tell her that this is life, no body is right all the time, we all have our mistakes, but as not all have the vision to see their mistakes, she's lucky enough and wise enough to blame herself,cuz this is whats learning and achieving wisdom is all about.. this is way better than blaming others for our problems, only losers and cowards do that.. tell her thats why she's so brave!!

yes inflame.... is better

hmm.. maybe you should go visit this site www.thesecret.tv it's something that might shed some light to her.. or if you want have you heard b4 AsiaWorks? it's quite good. maybe she can be clearer on the direction that she wants to go.. what i learned from there is stop blaming the things that went wrong in your life and go forward.. that's where the real 'power' comes in and that's where success also comes in as well.. there's alot more than those thing in the training :P .. i just went for the basic haha.. anyway hope it helps @@"

i can relate to your friend, and its really frustrating to be in that kind of thoughts : (

Well everybody reacts to the situation what he thinks is rite.so there is no point in blaming herself.do give her confidence.she will understand very well.it might take a bit of time but she ll get thru this.just keep her encouraging to get out of this.

It is better to blame yourself than others. But this should not be the case. She should be tough in all things she do. Stop blaming herself, just reach for her goals in life.

I agree she is in depression,and suggest her to consult a doctor,even though a bit cost money.besides she can read some books about depression it may be help. keeping be her best friend,help her find way out.good luck!!

There is only so much you can do. You have been a good friend and just have the piece of mind knowing that. She is responsible for seeking help.

read this from:http://www.care2.com/channels/solutions/self/2015 The Truth About Blaming More Inspiration Solutions By Pema Chodron; the Care2 Wisdom Keeper Series. If we had to identify one of the greatest barriers that keeps us from communicating from the heart with others, it would be blaming. Simple Solution: printer friendly version The great Buddhist teacher and writer, Pema Chodron, offers these healing words about the nature of blaming and how to move away from it, here: “We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don't like about our associates or our society. It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others. Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground. “Compassionate action starts with seeing yourself when you start to make yourself right and when you start to make yourself wrong. At that point you could just contemplate the fact that there is a larger alternative to either of those, a more tender, shaky kind of place where you could live.”

i think it's fair enough. :)

Well, it depends. Sometimes, I guess. But if your so mad at yourself and you start to hurt yourself then I think you need to see someone! But otherwise no.