Would you give coal to a child for Christmas?

Think she needs a bit more then coal in her Christmas stocking. I doubt it would even faze her. Sounds like she needs a good psychiatrist to talk to and get some meds. She's acting out for some reason. She's 17, she should be out growing that stuff by now. She's almost legally an adult, what's her plans for the future?

Instead of getting her coal, I would get her nothing. I think that would sting more than getting her coal. Any clue to why she is acting out? Failing classes and acting out may be a sign of something going on at school, her hiding a relationship that is falling apart and other issues. Have you offered her an alternative to finishing high school like getting her GED? You stated in a post above that she is already receiving mental help, but unless she wants to be there, it won't help, so I wouldn't waste my money on it. She may be acting out because you are forcing her to go. You may also want to evaluate the medication she is on because that could be causing some of the problems as well. When I hit around that age I was pretty rebillous myself, I left home, but kept in contact with my family. I grew out of my teenage angst. I am sure she will do the same.

Sounds like you and her have both had a rough year. You could get her coal but use it more as a joke than a punishment, see if this is something that you and her can laugh about together; sounds like you both could use it. Then later on attempt to have a talk with her about this past year, see if you can't reason with her to have a better upcoming year..

I don't think a lump of coal would faze a 17 year old. I would take away all of the presents though. That may or may not work. It may make her lash out even more. I did get a lump of coal from my would be now ex father in law. He said he was going to get it for me for Christmas. I didn't beleive he would. When I went to their place there it was all wrapped up with my name on it. I got other stuf too. He got it from the power plant where he worked at. I thought it was kind of neat.

I do not believe a parent should ever give their kids coal for christmas.maybe your child has not been good but,all tenagers go through this at one time of another.the things she has done isnt good but nobody is perfect and she is still your daughter.

Give her something special. She might eventually feel sorry for the things she had done wrong. Then she might change. Never give up doing good for in the end it will all come back to you. Have a merry Christmas!

Instead of coal just give her a card saying merry christmas and nothing more. When she asks why you just be honest and tell ther the list you have here, and explain that it is good kids who get presents on christmas. Tell her she is lucky she didnt get coal like you did and explain that story to her. She wont like it and might think twice.

I think you are all missing the point. We give gifts to people because we LOVE them, not as rewards for good behavior. I have raised four children and gone through a lot of the same problems as you have, but I never stopped loving them. My kids did the same thing one year, opened all their presents and rewrapped them. I didn't get too upset, but the next year I told them any gift that got tampered with was going to Goodwill. They didn't touch a thing!

sorry to say but yes i would give coal out for christmas.

Give me a break. Coal? I have put licorice candy in the stockings that are shaped like coal as a joke. YOur parents are a little harsh. The 17 year old should receive gifts, but in moderation. Why reward for behavior that is inappropriate. It isn't like she believes in Santa.

Ha Seriously? Sorry I just didn't think anyone would actually do that! So in reply to your question No I wouldn't. They need more than a piece of coal and besides... most people hav gas fire's thesedays anyway! :)

She would definately get coal and a kick in the a**. I know here in Chgo she could sign herself out of school. The next time she runs away call the police and then don't bail her out. If she even touches you,call the police and tell them you want her arrested. It sounds so mean but she needs a reality check and a rude awakening to the real world. I had trouble with my daughter for years.Now she's 19 married and has 2 children. She is finding out it's no so easy because my 1 grandson has cerebral palsy thanks to a stupid doctor. She grew up real fast and i have to say she realizes her mistakes and now we're building bridges and getting close finally. I had the police at my house many times and was told to through her stuff out,change my locks and if she comes on my property to have her arrested and she was 16, i didn't do it but it was nice to know i could of. Hang in there,it's hell but if you need to talk let me know.

I am not sure what giving her the coal would achieve at this point. I completely understand the point you are trying to make with your daughter, and I understand why you are trying to make it. But I agree with the other posters - I'm not sure if a lump of coal would have the desired effect on a 17 year old. I think it's great that you have your daughter seeing a counsellor, though I tend to find psychologists rather than psychiatrists have a better approach with teens. Have you considered going to counselling with your daughter? Sometimes having a good conversation with someone else there as a mediator can really get the communication going. Good luck you to and your family. I know this must be an incredibly difficult time for you all, and that you only want what's best for your daughter. Please keep us posted!! BB, ~Wyrdsister

why would i? hehe what is the use of it for them in christmas. give them toys its better

I think she is not the only one that says about her family bad things. She is 17 and common, give her a break. Now is your chance to make the difference. Remember how you felt when you saw coal instead of gifts. Now I hope you will decide what is the best for all of you!

coal......... weard....!!!!

eek that is sooo mean. Geez... That is even worse than receiving a mop and bucket! How did you feel when you recieved the coal for christmas? Were you hurt? Did you cry? Do you want to do the same thing to your child? Make them cry? Make them hurt? Regardless of what they have done, they do not deserve to be hurt by their parents. Great parenting skills hun! Look for another method and think outside the box. Best of luck.

Your daughter is acting out for some reason. Do not reward her with presents. It's going to be hard, that's where most parents fail with their children. PLenty of people can think up things to threaten their children with, but they will know you are full of it if you don't follow through. How did u feel when your parents did that to you? Did you feel like you had done something wrong and did you think twice about acting up again?

You should definitly give her coal for christmas, obviously you have spared the rod and spoiled the child, before it's to late to redeem her see if she will go to counceling with you!!!

Maybe she needs more understanding and more counseling. Advance merry Christmas.Let her feel shes part of the family!