Parenting

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I am not a parent. This is probably regarded by the universe as a good thing, I would wager. I am depressingly single and my marriage ended rather badly and it was probably a good thing we never had kids. I am starting to think that too many people are having kids because they think they should instead of actually wanting to and I think this is a bad thing. Now, saying in that fashion probably makes it a sentence and an idea that you would agree with as well. It is a little bit like saying you are against child abuse. Sure, everyone is, but actually finding ways to stop it involves more work and invasions of privacy that make it less than feasible. I was perusing the news and looking for a topic and discovered a story about a husband and wife with a one-year-old daughter. This is something you see a lot of, of course, but that is not the end of the story. No, the problem here was that they also thought it would be a bright idea to have a pit bull puppy in the same house or apartment or general location as the one-year-old. What seems to have happened was that in the middle of the night the pit bull puppy thought it would be a good idea to nibble off four of the baby’s toes. What is even more amazing is that the parents slept through the cries of their daughter until sometime toward morning. There are many things wrong with this story. The first would be that this particular couple evidently thought they were intelligent enough to breed. Of course it may just be likely that whatever contraceptive either didn’t work or broke. On the other hand, judging by their other actions, they may just be stupid. The second problem they had was deciding to have a pit bull as a pet. I will never understand this decision. I also realize that by stating that I am opening myself up to a deluge of e-mails from people who all have great pit bulls as pets who can solve crossword puzzles and rescue kittens and are currently working on cures for cancer. However, it seems to me that a breed that was bred to be mean and vicious just isn’t something you can have as a pet. No matter how much you love it and take care of it the thing is always going to have that wild animal buried inside its brain somewhere. This is very much like those idiots who think it’s possible to have pet tigers or jaguars or cobras or giant poison needle monsters as pets. These are the same idiots who then act surprised when the animal reverts to its natural tendencies and bites them or tries to kill them. I love dogs. I have a dog. I think every kid should have a dog. However, there are plenty of great breeds of dog out there. There are golden retrievers who have long histories of being great family pets and can be trained to be great guard dogs but rarely are seen nibbling on anyone’s toes. I have met many a rottweiler and though they look mean and nasty they have always been the gentlest of dogs. Every time I have run across a pit bull it has been a mean-looking dog who appears as though it is looking at me as though it is trying to figure out which part of me might be the tenderest and most-tasty. Of course if you have a dog you should always be careful about what you do with an infant around it. Some of the older dogs get jealous when this new noisy pink thing is getting all of the attention it used to get. Some dogs don’t take too kindly to that. As much as we like to think our dogs are family members and really just overly-furry people they are, in fact, animals and they have, in fact, animal instincts. So, in the animal world when something comes long that threatens you in any way you just kill it and move on. Too many people I run into seem to think that as soon as you get married you should start spewing children into the world. It’s like as soon as the ceremony is over you should start throwing away whatever contraception that may have been used and the ovaries should start being used for their intended purposes and it’s time to let the little sperm out of the gate to party. Too many people seem to think that a marriage license is also some kind of license that says they should and will be parents. It’s like they just graduated from couples school or something and got their diploma. I have been told many times that you are never fully prepared to have children. That no matter what you do you can never really be ready for taking care of a human life. I agree with that. However, I do feel there are certain things you should take into consideration. One of the key ones would be do you have the financial resources to provide even the most basic resources for a child. Do you have the resources to provide them with food? Do you have the resources to put a roof over their heads? Will you all be eating dirt two weeks after returning from the hospital? If your answers to those questions is no, no and yes then you might want to consider NOT having children. I wouldn’t suggest you even get a pet, really because they can use those things as well. Of course sometimes accidents happen. I understand that. I have a very good friend who got pregnant when she was very young. However, she had something that I fear too many young people who have children do not have. She had intelligence. She knew that it would be tough. She knew that much of her teenage life was over. She was willing to buck up and work hard and do what needed to be done to provide for her child. She has done so and she has come through that trial better for it. Sadly, she is the exception that proves the rule. I have seen far too many mothers who seem to think that having a baby is like going out and getting a goldfish. They figure they will just need to change the diapers and burp them and make cooing noises at them and eventually they will grow up to be great people. You see some of these folks at the department stores. They are the ones who are talking to friends and looking at candle sets while their child is removing large pieces of metal from the shelving units and using them to bash in the television sets. These are the same parents who then think the appropriate response is to half-way look over their shoulders and shout the child’s name. This generally causes the child to stop the destruction for exactly one tenth of a second and then to start smashing the DVD players. I think there ought to be some kind of parent’s license. Maybe you could spend some time at the parent license equivalent of the DMV. That alone may cause most people think twice before trying to have kids.