Trouble with Mom

well, she's just probably scared of losing her baby and being alone. tell her you still love her, but she has to let go of you someday. if you're planning on starting a life with this woman, then you should be with her. and you don't always have to go to see her, if she really wants to spend time with you, she'll come and see you.

If you can manage it, you could try to make a trip to see your mom before you move to Canada. You can talk to her face to face and explain how you feel. She is probably worried about you and maybe a bit lonely since you said that you don't visit often. After the move, call and visit as often as you can afford to do so.

As long as you are not abandoing your family, I think you mom need to let go of her son. I live in USA and my whole side of family live in Japan, my parents dont like the idea but it my life and it was my choice. They are okay with my choice. Once you move to Canada, calling your mom once a week or once in every 2 weeks to let her know that you are doing fine might help. Good luck

I dont know what to tell you, I am however responding as I am pretty much going through the same thing. I live in VA my inlaws live in NC near / close to Nags Head. My family lives in NY. In January we (my family wife and daughter) will be going up to western NY in January. I am now getting accused of taking my inlaws daughter and grand-daughter away from them. I am moving to NY to help my dad out. my mom might have Alzheimers. (not diagnosed) My dad is having a hard time taking care of the house, cleaning and cooking, etc. My mom last weekend asked me the same question 50 times which I did answer everytime and I could see what my dad is going through. Just wanted to let you know that someone is pretty much in the same boat

Well, just visit here.maybe shes old enought and they need your time.We know she will not last for another 50 or hundred years.How old is she by the way?Always keep your line of communication often and talk to her more frequent.Spending time with them is more important than material success.

tak ur mom into confidence and cnvince her that u will be comfortable without her , but at same time make her feel that she is still required in your life.

you do have a possessive mum. but not so possessive since you said she moved down south, too. i am from the philippines and will be moving late next year to live with my boyfriend in sweden. i love him so much and my mum understands why i want to move with him. she respected my decision since i am already 28 and can stand on my own. she just asks me to constanly connect with her through the computer so she won't worried much about me since i am their only girl. dad approves of my decision, too. in your case, i hope you can sit down and have a nice chat with your mum. explain to her that you wanna live with the girl who makes you happy. promise her that you will try to visit her once in awhile when you have time. and that try to call her to see if your mum's okey or not. i hope your mum will understand you. but at some point, maybe not now but later, she'll realize that you did the right thing of moving up and be with your girl. it's your heart's call.. so, go for it!

Your mom still thinks of her 29 yr old as a baby boy. Cut her a break she's a mom and wont change this position when your 80 and shes over 100. As for your relationship I say take the move. Your happiness is what is important. Your mom must be doing just fine 300 miles away if she hasnt moved back closer to you. Therefore she'll live. As for your choice of destinations. I sure hope you have your snow shoes and polar bear repellent stocked up. Your going to need it while crossing the ice with your sled team to reach her igloo.

She may not understand now but she will later when she realizes that you are an adult with your own life.Just make sure you keep in touch as much as possible.Call her every chance you get.You only have one mom.

I don't think there's anything that you can say at this point to make her feel differently. Do what makes you happy. Like you said, you are an adult. Maybe she'll see that it was best when she sees how happy you are.

Mention to her that you are doing this to be with the girl you love. Also you may have a better quality of life there. Promise her you will phone regulary. After all it is only a days drive away. Invite her for a little holiday. She will get used to the idea. So don't worry too much.

Mom is having trouble letting go. There are things she needs to do and things you can do, none of which is being close to Mom or allowing her to control your life in any way. She needs to develop more outside interests, join social groups, live a life. You can move and write her, make phone calls, email if she is computer and internet savy. I could be she just needs reassurance that she is still important in your life the things mentioned above should help.

Some parents are just clingy.. and don't really know when to let go. Keeping in contact with your family on a regular basis will help. Do what makes YOU happy. Because in the end, if your miserable your bound to spread it. Same thing with happiness.

I guess your mom just feels so alone now that you're farther away from her. I guess sometimes moms dont understand that. Sometimes they tend to forget that we're already old enough to live a life of our own. Give her time to adjust. I guess she will understand...in time

Although it sounds a little petty, she did move away first. Don't burn your bridges though, if things go wrong in Canada you could need to move back in with your mom!!

I think you have already stated it quite well right here in this discussion. I do understand how your mother feels, but we all have to let go at some point. She'll come around. Any chance see can visit you and get an idea of where and how you are living? That might just help her to be more accepting. Best wishes!

have you tried calling your mom by phone if possible everyday?? thats one way of making her feel that you not abandoning her..even your miles apart(seas)..try to find sometime to visit her together with your wife and brought some presents..that will melt her heart away...

I think that keeping true to visiting her would be a good idea, even if it is once every few years or so. Perhaps making a tradition of going to see her would show her that you haven't forgotten her. Perhaps another idea is keeping in touch on a regular basis. Calling once a week, or once a month. Sometimes long distance can be expensive, but it might show her that you are making an effort. I don't know if there is much that you can say if she already has it in her mind that you are leaving her. If she is stubborn like some parents can be it is likely that she will never see it another way.

your are an adult and going to get you own family. your mom is a little sad about lossing a son. but there will be the time..she knows, that she got a daughter in addition. do, what you like to do. my best wishes for you..and your mom.

When you grow up Livin' like a good boy oughta And your mama Takes a shine to her best son Something different All the girls they seem to like you Cause you're handsome Like to talk and a whole lot of fun But now your girl's gone a missin' And your house has got an empty bed The folks'll wonder 'bout the wedding They won't listen to a word you said [Chorus] Gonna take your mama out all night Yeah we'll show her what it's all about We'll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne We'll let the good times all roll out And if the music ain't good, well it's just too bad We're gonna sing along no matter what Because the dancers don't mind at the New Orleans If you tip 'em and they make a cut Do it Take your mama out all night So she'll have no doubt that we're doing oh the best we can We're gonna do it Take your mama out all night You can stay up late 'cause baby you're a full grown man It's a struggle Livin' like a good boy oughta In the summer Watchin' all the girls pass by When your mama Heard the way that you'd been talking I tried to tell you That all she'd wanna do is cry Now we end up takin' the long way home Lookin' overdressed wearin' buckets of stale cologne It's so hard to see streets on a country road When your glasses in the garbage And your Continental's just got towed