Is Compassion as Good as Love?

I think compassion is a part of love. Or an aspect of it.I believe to have compassion for someone you must first feel love, which naturally wants to spread it's self. It's this spreading of love that causes compassion, like understanding. I think your friend does have this love. But it's not the love he thinks it is. His compassion of not wanting to hurt her comes from a less specific love than what you feel when you want to be with someone forever. To use a cliche I've heard more that wanted to, he loves her, but he's not IN love with her. He doesn't want to hurt her, that's understandable. He still cares enough about her to want her happiness. But he also needs to think of his own happiness. You can't learn to love someone. You can't expect that, given enough time, your feelings will change and you will feel the same love for her as she feels for you. Eventually, you will grow bitter, angry at the thought of missing out on a happier love-life. Over time her ways will get to you, you'll end up not only regretting the years wasted, but going as far as disliking this girl you once loved, then had the compassion for to stay with her. If your friend breaks up with her no, they both have a chance to find true happiness. If he waits, maybe 20, 30,40 years before finally deciding he can't take it anymore. How will whe take it then? When she learns all this time the man she loved and thought was happy was just faking it. Believe me, not much scares a woman, or man, than the though of a one-sided love. He should set her free. If he really cares for her he should do what's right, though she'll take it hard it's for her own good. But never pass up that last bit of goodbye tail. Force

Compassion is not the same as love, and your friend is doing a disservice to his girlfriend by pretending he still loves her. Which do you think is better - his girlfriend being with someone who really loves her, or his girlfriend being lied to about being loved? Yes, your friend will cause his girlfriend hurt in the short term, but by telling her the truth he shows that he respects her. I hope he doesn't let this carry on for too much longer. If her marries her, he will be hurting her most of all. That's the nice answer. The harsh answer is "Your friend needs to grow some balls, suck it up and call the relationship off." ;) Trust me, it will be MUCH better for the both of them in the long run. Hope that helps! ~Wyrdsister

Your friend is going to become a porter to bear the burden of a false-relationship life long. Tell him to act as per his mind suggests. This is the good time to stop exhibiting Compassion to a person without love.

It's really kind of sad that he continues like he is because in the end they will both not only be hurt but both be miserable. She will have spent so much time on a person she thought loved her and he will have spent so much time being miserable. Honesty is the best policy.

He needs to come right out and tell her he feels for her but dont love her like she wants to be loved. Getting married is a hard job and both have to work at it and if meant to be it is a great thing but if not would just end up with more bad feelings and a divorce Better to hurt her now than later

you know what maybe your friend still loves his girlfriend. I mean if he doesnt, he should be breaking up with her eventhough he doesnt wanna hurt her feelings. In the first place, he shouldnt pity her. Dont go for someone you pity cause it hurts more. You said when they are together it doesnt look like he wants the relationship over. I think, maybe, telling you that he wants to break up with her is just a defense mechanism. You know what I mean? Sometimes, we are like that. Maybe, its the gil that want things over and he doesnt, so he is telling you he wanna break up with her so when she eventually, break up with him, he can then say, he is the one who really wants to end the relationship. Or maybe, he hasn't found someone else to replace her, yet

WEll buddy tell him to get his facts clear Who is he trying to betray His gf or himself he cannot live on without telling things to her And yes in process she will get hurt in the process Thats life, Love is about Hurt Where there is feelings you will get hurt Well time will heal it she will understand it But then she will get more hurt if ur friend continues to keep her in darkness!

Sounds like he he still in love with her. Don't you think? if he actually wanted to leave her he would. If you want to be with him you better do something before it's to late!

well, i think compassion is not the same as love. by reading your post, i think that your friend did not love her, it just feel commpassionate toward her. I think, without love, that kind of relationship will last not long, and would be better if your friend tell his girlfriend the truth, eventhough it will hurt her so much

compasion is not good as love .... if you feel sorry for somebody who loves you and you don`t love him/her that donsen`t mean you love him/her to...you stay with that person because you have a feeling that it will suffer after you ... in your case ... you should break up with her ...

you cant have compassion without love

hehe, yes maybe it is. maybe he just wants you to give him some advice hehe. thats why he keep telling you that he hate her. even he cant leave her. just tell him do you really want to leave her? then leave her. if he didnt leave her then that means he really love that girl

If someone can say " I wanna break up with her", it shows that his love for her is dying. Perhaps he hangs on for his sense of responsiblity towards her. Or maybe he is waiting for someone he fancies to come along before he makes a clean break with her. I think he is an emotional insecure person. I pity his girl friend or I should say his female friend.

no, because compassion is when we hear of or see another person’s misfortune, and we feel the pang of their suffering, and are moved to extend the help that lies within our power, this is compassion. For this we need strength, because suffering lies all around us. The daily news’ litany of catastrophes and evil deeds, large and small, could devastate us, were we awake to the whole of it and lacked the strength to bear it. But awakening through spiritual practice brings its own strength. And the suffering we see is more than balanced by the joy that flows to us along with love, protecting the compassionate from being overwhelmed by the force of suffering.

nope. it's unfair to keep the relationship because he pitties his girlfriend. a relationship should be kept only when both parties are inlove. it's not a way one thing. a relationship like what your friend has won't last long. or if it will, it's not gonna be a happy one. your friend should be honest about how he feels. and yes, it will for sure hurt his girlfriend. but atleast, he can be honest! honesty hurts. but honesty rules! advice your friend to think things over and decide for himself. nevertheless, be there for him... he needs you

No i don´t think he love her cause love don´t survive of compassion... I think he cares about her but that´s it. I went throu a situation like that but fortunatly i end it just in time. Time heals everything...

may be i feel he is some kind of bird always needs new birdy? is that right? And also I think he did afraid to listen about the marriage, may be thats why he is want to break with her. I think your friend inside man needs her but person that we see afraid about this relationship. Finally I believe he is really afraid about marry and true love. otherwise he is not satisfy about her background.

compassion might be love depending on what kind of love, of course we don't feel compassion towards people we don't love. but mostly it applies to brotherly love or the kind of agape love but not to intimate love, i guess the problem there is not love neither compassion, perhaps the man needed this feeling of being wanted, if he doesn't love her i believe there's no way he could stand to be with her without feeling contempt.

It could be that he doesn't really want to break up with her, he just feels smothered. Telling him that she wants to marry him may have scared him. He probably doesn't want to be married at this point and wants to dissuade her from marriage, but doesn't know how to go about it without hurting her feelings. I would say that your friend is probably a decent guy and just doesn't want to hurt this girl. He may still like her, but want to date other women. He may just feel pressure to marry. He may have out grown the relationship and it just isn't working for him anymore. I understand that this is a difficult situation for your friend, but he is not sparing her feelings by not being honest with her. In the long run, she will be more hurt if he continues to lead her on.

I think compassion can go hand and hand with love. But having compassion doesn't necessary means you love the person. It just means you care about their well being, them being happy, having goodness, and nothing bad to happen to them. Which we can all feel for a stranger or poor person we might walk by. If your friend is serious about the fact he wants things to be over. Then he needs to do it now than later. It is easy and less hurtful ways to breaking up with someone. Even though mostly all break ups are hurtful. Being deceitful and living a lie is even more hurtful. And being honest is something the female will respect. She might not understand now but hopefully she will learn to understand later.